Cheryl Posted October 6, 2010 Report Share Posted October 6, 2010 I have had a particular rough three days. To the point that I got a hold of my support group and asked for a list of therapists that specialized in grief counseling. I have felt like I might be having a nervous breakdown. Anxiety attacks in the middle of the night, heart racing and serious sadness. Not to the point of contemplating suicide but to the point that once again I see no hope and no way out. I have felt overwhelmed by simple tasks and unable to participate in anything. Cooking, cleaning, phone calls are barely getting done. I have felt lost and utterly alone. I have felt like I have no idea how to proceed. It was all triggered by my two dogs getting into a fight and one being horribly mauled. Blood everywhere and her skin peeled back in flaps. I couldn't get the fight to stop and when I finally got them apart, I completely lost it. My kids had to call a neighbor to come peel me off the front lawn and rush my dog to the emergency vet. I needed my husband so desperatly to hold me up and he wasn't there. My poor neighbor listened to me wail and started to cry when he could not get me to stop freaking out. It has taken me three days to feel like I might be able to breath again.I have never fallen apart like this. Even when the Doctor told me that Mark had died in the wreck I kept it together. I feel like my world has finally caved in on me. I know all the things to say to myself and what I am supposed to do but I have no desire to even try. It's like I have finally been broken. Grief wins and I can no longer fight. I am forcing myself to go to my support group tonight but I feel like I am in a fog. I have pulled out all my grief books and they say the same thing. Be patient. It feels good to write about my set back but I still feel defeated and so very, very sad for all that I have lost. I didn't do anything to deserve this amount of pain. I can tell I'm starting to ramble. If only my Mark would come take care of me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!Register a new account
Already have an account? Sign in here.Sign In Now