Butch Posted June 17, 2005 Report Share Posted June 17, 2005 I've known the day was coming, but I had always imagined it would be preceded by a decline in health, and the horrible decision of when to put the suffering to an end - and then to be with Daisee when that time came and hold her in my arms when we said goodbye.But instead, my healthy, happy, frolicking 12 year old Daisee, who was fine (playing with her little sister and rolling around in the freshly mowed grass) at 3:30, was dead in the yard at 5:00. I've never been so devastated in my life as I was when I went to call her in for dinner and instead found her lifeless body out in the yard where she'd been playing 90 minutes earlier. No sign of struggle, no injuries, no blood, no nothing. Just my best friend in the world dead. I must have sounded like a lunatic with my screaming (as if I care). I've cried more in the past 30 hours than I've cried in my life all put together, and the hurt is so immense it feels like it will never go away. I'm a veterinary technician, so I understand that these things can and do happen, but they don't happen to me and my Daisee, y'know? She had had an emergency splenectomy (spleen removal) last August, and came through with flying colors. Ever since she's been my same old silly Daisee girl, as healthy as could be. Yesterday she ate her breakfast, took naps as usual, helped me clean up the bowl I'd made egg salad in (her favorite), and then come out to inspect my mowing job. And then she was gone. Just like that.I'm so thankful for so many things - she didn't suffer; she didn't go into a decline before she died; her last day was a gorgeous sunny, breezy summer day; she was with those that she loved right up until the end; she didn't have to suffer the indignity of a planned death (as good as that is for our pets sometimes); and she was obviously happy and healthy and feeling fine just before the end.But oh God it hurts so much right now I can hardly stand it. I never knew I could or would miss her so much when she was gone. I live out in the country, where she was queen of all she surveyed. I'm going to bury her next to the little stream that runs past my house, where I can see her grave from my bedroom window. Someday I'll plant a tree there to remind me of her always. I'm thankful also that her little sister Pancho is still with me. She's very huggable and cuter than almost anything. But poor Pancho has never ever been without her Daisee, so I'm not sure how she's going to fare for the next little while. I'm about to start nursing school in August, so I'll be gone all day every day, and I'm really worried about her. I know there will be other dogs in my life, maybe sooner, maybe later, but there will be. I'm so worried about Pancho though, I'm almost tempted to let another dog find us sometime soon, but that brings a whole other set of problems in my current situation.I know this probably sounds a little over the top, but Daisee and I had been through so much stuff together (depression, marriage, divorce, several moves, quitting my career and going back to school, etc, etc, etc). It's just going to be really hard without her, and there will certainly never be a replacement for Daisee, that I know.I hope everyone will know the kind of love Daisee and I shared for nearly 11 years. But parting is such pain. I only hope the memories of that love and devotion are enough to heal it for me..Peace everybody,ButchNewport, VADaisee Lulu1993 - 6/15/2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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