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What To Say....

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This is what I've encountered.

Friend: How are you?

Me: I'm fine. If I say more, they look at me with this blank stare.


Friend: How are things going for you?

I start to tell them and they cut me off.

SAt first, it bothered me. Then I quit talking to this friend. It wasn't worth the hassle to figure them out, I felt.

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I started to say Do you want the truth or do you want me to lie?? You find out real quick who really wants to know! They either stop asking and act like nothings wrong or they really care and want to know! After time people think your fine just because you keep your tears to yourself! But its been 3 years for me and it still hurts when people act like I should be like I use to be! But what they dont understand is you will never be that person again. You just learn to live with the pain! You never stop missing him! But you do survive. Hang in there and keep posting here. I just found this site and its a very caring place! Best of luck and my prayers are with all of us. Cris

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Most of the time you know if they're just giving you social graces or if they honestly want to know. Most of the time, it's the first, but with close friends or family, probably the latter. If in doubt you could ask but then they'd just say they wanted to know when in fact they may not want to and may be uncomfortable.

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I have had so many people that are trying to be polite ask me if I'm okay. My answer to them now is "Do you want the truth or do you want me to lie?" It is amazing how quickly they learn to not ask that question again.


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