Feeling Like Giving Up!

[nirac]

ugh I am in such a rutt these days, I can't pull myself out of it. The holidays are coming up,Christmas was Charlies favorite, I don't knwo how the kids and I are going to get thru, although the kids are doing so much better than me. I am the one having a hard time,i can't manage right now, everything is irratating me, its going to be 6th months in a few days and I just can't handle it, I thought I wwas strong enough to do this but I think I was wrong!

[sunstreet]

Nirac,

I am sorry you are struggling so and I understand. I have faith that you can make it. Try to believe that you can survive this journey. Anniversaries and holidays are difficult. It will be seven years for me on December 25 this year and I remember a time when I felt just as you do now, that I would not survive my loss. I survived and I have faith that you will too. Keep coming here, keep talking, and imagine us all bearing down with you as you move this journey.

Courage and Blessings,

Carol Ann

[Korina]

Those special days are so difficult. Although I know it is not the same for everyone, on those days, I try to plan something that will be fun for our daughter - this always helps me.

Korina

[Perkins808]

Hi Nirac,

I know how you are feeling - all of the "big days" started for me in October. Jeff has only been gone for 3 1/2 months and already I've gone through what would have been our first anniversary and then his birthday. Now Thanksgiving, then Christmas, New Years, my birthday, Valentines.....the list goes on and on.

I was just talking to my teenage daughters last night about Christmas. I certainly don't want to skip Christmas, it's always been my favorite holiday.....but I know it's going to be hard. So together we came up with a plan. We are going to keep some of our old traditions....but we are also going to create some new ones, to honor Jeff. We are going to find a soup kitchen or homeless shelter where we can volunteer on Christmas Day. We are going to try to focus on helping others with the hopes that it will keep our minds off of our own problems.

When you are thinking that you aren't strong enough - look back on how far you have come since Charlie died. I think we should be giving ourselves credit for just getting out of bed everyday!!

Hugs,

Tammy

[kayc]

I have just been giving this some thought too. I was tempted to skip it all, it seems like a lot of effort when I live alone anyway and aren't likely to have visitors, but then I thought about how much George loved it all, and I thought maybe I should put up a tree and decorate, for him. Maybe he can see it. And somehow the thought of ignoring it all and doing nothing just seems stark in comparison to how it was when he was here.

[abergsma]

I think we should be giving ourselves credit for just getting out of bed everyday!!

As Tammy said, she is so right..

I do get out of bed but I have a hard time going on from there.

When people are here I can accomplish things but alone it is hard.

[nirac]

Thank u all that replied... another day, it wa a little easier today,which only means tomorrow will be harder! I am tryig to stay positiv but it JUST PLAIN SUCKS!

[Queeniemary]

I have been through several "1st", our anniversary, his birthday, Halloween, his favorite holiday, and now my birthday coming up next week. Thanksgiving and Christmas were not very special to him. His biological family was pretty disfunctional, and although he participated willingly in celebrations on those holidays with my family, his heart was never in it. It will soon be 10 months, and yes I am better. I will never stop missing him, and there are still times of intense grief. Still hard to get my mind around the fact that he is gone from me for now. I keep pretty busy with community theater and the arts council, and my close friends from both those organizations are very supportive, as well as my family.

I am pretty excited right now, my brother and sister, and their spouses and myself are flying Saturday to AZ to visit our oldest Sis. I have not flown in 22 years, so this will be an experience for me. I am flying out of Fayetteville AR to Houston, meeting with rest of family to fly to Phoenix, then driving up to Prescott. Have not seen Arizona in a couple of years, really looking forward to it. Just wish Mike was here to go with us, he loved Arizona.

Tammy, I love your ideas about helping out at a homeless shelter, or soup kitchen on Christmas. Going to have to look into that myself.

Prayers for all of us on this journey, we will never never forget, but as time goes by, it does get a little easier. That sounds like a cliche, but in my case it is true.

Mary (queeniemary) in Arkansas