melina Posted November 20, 2010 Report Share Posted November 20, 2010 Something weird is going on with me. I haven't cried the last few days. I'm not sure if that's a good sign or a bad one. It's now three and a half months since my husband died. I still think about him, miss him terribly, and sometimes I feel like I might cry, but no tears come. The positive part is the relief I feel from not having those endless tears, stuffy nose and puffy eyes. I've started work again, which might account for some of it. Since most of my tears came in the morning, sitting at the kitchen table, thinking about how much I missed him and wanted him back, maybe going to work in the morning somehow breaks the pattern. I have to hurry and get out of the house. Granted, I only work part-time so far. The first day back at work was a disaster. Our wing of the hospital is pretty disorganized at the moment since there are a lot of people away on different leave of absences, plus we have a new boss who doesn't seem to know what's going on. Also, I'd been moved to a new office and couldn't find all my stuff or log on to the computer. Finally, one unkind word from a secretary broke me down and I started sobbing. Completely unexpected. So I went home. But since then, I've met some of my nicer colleages and things have been going fairly smoothly - though I still feel strange being there. So I don't know if any of you have had "dry spells" without tears at this stage. I'm thankful for it, but at the same time wary because I know they'll probably be back. The whole chutes and ladders thing. I'm starting a bereavement group on the 30th, so I expect tears then. But so far, I'm just grateful for a break. Melina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!Register a new account
Already have an account? Sign in here.Sign In Now