My Beautiful Cowboy

[Patricia C]

My beautiful dog Cowboy has died after 17 years. Every morning he would come into my bedroom and lick my face. When he was too arthritic to jump on the bed, I would slide down onto the floor to get my morning kiss. Whenever I was sad, he would stay by my side and comfort me no matter how loud I was or how long it took. I've had 4 dogs over the years - all great dogs - but none so affectionate.

With my other dogs, I cried and mourned before they died. But with Cowboy, he was such a happy dog up until 2 days before he died. I was always so happy to hold him and kiss his sweet head that I didn't cry - I just gave thanks every day that he was with me. Now that he is gone I can't stop crying. It's been 2 weeks and I can't stop crying. None of my friends has made any effort to comfort me. I can't pretend that everything is OK. I wish someone would understand how much I hurt.

[LostmyHoney]

Im so very sorry for your loss. I had my Buddy, got him when he was 4 weeks old, he was more like a son to me. You know the perfect son who never talked back and always wanted to please. The one who was always there no matter what. I had left him with my son to come to NC to be with my Honey, that was one of the hardest things I had to do, but I knew he and my son had a good bond too, and that he would be loved and cared for. 5 mo befor I went home to visit they had to send him home to God. He was just in too much pain and couldn't walk anymore. That was about a year ago.

Recently I had a dream that my Honey and I were on a boat and my buddy was there, I didnt see him but I felt him there with us. My Honey past away sept 2 2010, he loved to fish, I kept asking him to come to me in a dream and take me fishing. Well there we were on a boat on a lake and then the boat went into a river where I saw a school of japanese garden fish. My honey told me to just reach out and grab one. So I did and the boat dissapeared and I was floating, like the fish caught me rather. All the while I felt my Buddy there by my side, he loved the water. When I woke I knew that my Honey was there in heaven with my Buddy and other family and friends waiting for us here on earth to join them.

Rachel

[Patricia C]

Rachel. I am sorry for your loss. I still need help. I am crying all the time and angry much of the time.

[LostmyHoney]

I understand how you feel, and I wish I had some magic words that would help you. I can tell you to keep posting and vent all you need to here, also read as many threads as you can handle. Some days I cant even think to respond to much of what is posted, but reading through it all helps me. At this point my consentration is minimal.

Hugs to you patricia !

Rachel

[sunstreet]

Patricia, I am so very sorry for the loss of your Cowboy. I understand and know how much you are hurting because I have been there too. I wish I could take all the pain away! I am just so sorry that none of your friends are there for you now. I encourage you to keep coming here as you will find people here who understand and know how your heart is aching. I know you will go through a miriad of emotions and thoughts and I want to let you know that it is OK to feel all of your feelings and it is safe to bring them here.

My 5 year old cat Street died suddenly on September 26, 2003, my wife died on December 25, 2003, I had to have my 19 year old cat Sunshine euthanized on February 9, 2004. After my Sunshine was gone, I literally did not believe I would survive. Here it is all this time later and I did survive. It took me a very long time to be able to think about Sunshine and not cry.

My heart aches for you as I know how painful it is to loose a pet so dear as your beloved Cowboy.

Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

[sunstreet]

Rachel, I am so sorry for the loss of your Buddy....thank you for sharing your dream. My heart goes out to you.

Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

[Patricia C]

Thank you Carol Ann. The vet's office called and said Cowboy's ashes are ready to be picked up. I'm not ready for that now.

[kayc]

Patricia,

I understand how you feel, I am extremely attached to my dog, I don't know how I'll go on when his time comes to go. Maybe you could ask a friend to pick up Cowboy's ashes for you? You might find it a comfort having them with you. I'm so sorry you're hurting.

[sunstreet]

Patricia, it is OK to not be ready. I understand. I could not pick up Susnhine's ashes for 2 weeks after the vet old me they were there. Your vet I am sure will hold them respectfully and safely till your ready. Cowboy, understands as well I am sure. You have a right to grieve as you need and in your own time. I have all my children(pets) ashes with me and to this day I still talk to them. It brings me comfort. I encourage you to listen to your inner guide within you and you will know what to do and when.

Courage and Blessings, Carol Ann

[MartyT]

Patricia, dear, I want to add my voice to those you've heard already here ~ I am so very sorry for the death of your beloved companion Cowboy. I hope you've discovered that you are among kindred spirits here, as we understand completely the strength of the bond you have with your dear canine friend, and the pain that is felt in the physical absence of all that unconditional love. Trust me, we DO understand how much this hurts. I don't know what, if any, "in person" pet loss support services are available to you in your community, but you might consider looking for a pet loss support group in your area. Spend some time on the Pet Loss Links page of my Grief Healing Web site, as it will point you to all sorts of wonderful resources. And please keep coming here, as we won't let you travel this difficult path all by yourself. ♥