sunstreet Posted December 27, 2010 Report Share Posted December 27, 2010 God Bless You, Marty for keeping this site going over the holidays...thank you! I went to the care facility on Christmas Day. It warmed my heart, the residents so enjoyed my piano playing, and one resident who apparently has not said a word in over a year, started to sing when I played Silent Night. The man I invited to come, failrly much was crying most of the time. I took a break after 40 minutes, and went and asked if I could sit next to him. He looked at me and gestured for me to sit, so I did. He looked at me and asked if he could hold my hand. As if he could read my mind, and knew my wondering why, he said, I want to hold the hand of an angel, because that is what you are to me. Well, then I started to cry. I said I am not an angel, I just know the pain of loosing your spouse to suicide. He said what you don't know is that at the Memorial, I was silently praying to God, to give me a sign, that He was real. He answered my Prayer, He sent you, to me you are an angel sent from God. I said Praise God! I went and finished the next half of my piano playing and felt both a feeling of warmth, comfort, alongside deep sorrow that Melissa was not there with me, and felt myself pushing back tears as I played. Afterwards, my friend and I shared Christmas Dinner with the residents and unfortunately due to my dental issue going on, could not as much as I wanted to that is for sure! On my drive home, I started to feel more and more alone. It was real hard to come home knowing no-one would be there but my cat, who honestly is my angel from God! I came in made myself a cup of chamoimile tea, put on some lovely music for relaxation. I am sorry I was not on here yesterday but I knew that if I read any of goings on with family members, and especially children yesterday, I would have begun weeping for sure. My cat Cheekeh jumped up on my lap, and gave me this look like I know your hurting Mom, it will be OK, and that is when I started weeping. I was feeling so very sad that Melissa was not here to see what blessings life has to offer if one's heart is open to them. I miss her so even still. I was feeling absolutely sorry for myself that there is no-one in my life to phone and say "I am thinking of you on this day especially" Just when I began to weep even more, my cell rang and it was the man I met at the Memorial, to say he was thinking of me and that he had lit a candle for Melissa, and I said now God answered my prayer and gave me a sign, and brought me an angel. I cried myself to sleep. Today, honestly I have been feeling blue and that is why I chose this text colour. This time of year is just so hard for me. I want a family so bad it aches. Know that I have read all of your posts and I am sorry I just don't have enough to reply to them individually. I offer my love, my support, and understanding. Thanks again Marty, for working during the holidays. Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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