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Grief Upon Grief Upon Grief


kath

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I had to put Sassie to sleep today. She was so sick. Thursday night she stopped eating. By today she was vomiting non-stop. They couldn't find an obstruction, but her spleen was in the wrong place and there was concern that it ruptured. I raced her from our vet to the Hospital and they couldn't see anything on the ultrasound. Whatever it was, they said probably contributed to her cluster seizures for the last several months. There's no more waiting for her to come back to normal after her seizure. She's not coming back. I don't have to step over her anymore when making dinner or chase her inside when she refuses to come in from the bitter cold. There's just this emptiness where she used to be. She'd get agitated at the kids when they would bicker. Now, I'm alone again in my agitation. She'd "moo" at the sight of us walking in the door. Now, there's no one to even notice.

Sassie would have been two years old next month. RIP little girl. We loved you.

Kath

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I am so sorry for your loss. Sassie is beautiful., and how sad for you, as she was so young, too. I think losing a beloved pet is one of the hardest things to endure, as they give us such unconditional love. I lost my beloved Siamese boy kitty two years ago, and on the anniversary of his death it's so hard. My prayers are with you. Rest in peace sweet Sassy.

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OMG, Kath, I remember when you got her! I'm so sorry, dear friend, so very, very sorry, I know how much you love her and how much a part of your lives she's been. It seems highly unfair that you should have to go through this on top of what you've already been through. Please know that I am reaching out across the miles to give you a huge cyber-hug and say a prayer for you and your kids. I am glad SassieBGrace had you to share her life with though, you gave her great enjoyment and love in the short little life she got, and thank God for that. This is how I felt when I lost my Chappy...a very special cat that I felt God gave me to help ease some of the pain of losing my George. Chappy used to sleep with his arms around my neck, he was so loving. He had a very intent "look" he'd get in his eyes and I loved him dearly...I only got him a couple of years and then a cougar got him in our back yard. I'd never seen a cougar here before. I felt so anguished, like why couldn't I at least keep Chappy since God had to have my George? I don't know the answers, only that a resounding echo followed...and once again I had to accept what was, like it or not. But I'm glad I had him in my life for the time that I did.

I so wish we could keep these animals for years and years...I know life has no guarantees and that kind of sucks. I love you and wish I could say something to help but I know of nothing. :(

Hugs,

Kay

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Thank you Kay and Ann.

I don't even think I can try to understand. It makes no sense and it is so hard on my daughter right now. too. She spent all her alone time with Sassie and now she doesn't even want to be in this house. The breeder has offered a new puppy and I want one, but I am afraid of going through all this again. I want a wall to protect me from loving any living creature because it's too hard to let go.

I found this on Marty's home page:

Your pain is the breaking of the shell

that encloses your understanding.

Even as the stone of the fruit must break,

that its heart may stand in the sun,

so must you know pain.

— Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

And I think that I must be really knowledgeable by now because of going through all this pain. Another thing someone told me was that Sassie was a great distraction for dealing with everything else. And she was. Maybe her purpose was to help us through losing Bob, Zeus and then my nephew. She certainly took all our focus. And while it makes some sense to me, it still isn't fair that she could have been so sickly and live for so short a time. My kids deserved better. One wants to know why all the things she loves have to leave her. How do I attempt to answer that?

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Oh, I have had to put dogs down and I can't imagine doing that right now. My heart goes out to you. I made a decision when Bill died that when the day comes when my dog has to be put down, even if it feels disrespectful, I will get another dog almost immediately...give a homeless dog a home and make myself feel better all at the same time. I know what it is like to lose a pet but not when you are grieving such a huge loss. I am so sorry.

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One wants to know why all the things she loves have to leave her.

That is a question I've had. It seems some people are hit from every side, while others seem to be left unscathed. The only thing I've found that even attempts to answer that is in the Bible where it says it rains on the just and on the unjust. In other words, it seems pretty random...and it has nothing to do with what we deserve. Life IS unfair. We aren't all dealt the same hand.

I am just glad SassyBGrace had all of you in HER life when she needed you, as well as the other way around. I very nearly lost my dog last summer and don't know what I would have done because he's all I have. Try not to be afraid to love another again, it is in loving that we live...unfortunately, with love comes risk and more exactly, the risk of losing or being hurt again. But to withhold ourselves from loving is to be a fate worse than death.

Your dog was so beautiful and I know she was up to antics that came close to my Arlie's. I pray God give you an extra measure of grace today.

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Thank you, my friends.

It all came crashing down when I was in the room with the vet and he left saying I could use the phone to call someone if I needed to. I felt so awfully alone.

The breeder wants to give us a new puppy. She has some of the same markings as Sassie, but with blue eyes, like Zeus. I want so badly to run and get her, yet I'm afraid I don't have the energy to train a new pup all over again. Through all her challenges, I kept thinking I just had to get to two years. Then she'd figure out her place in our pack. We were so close. She was becoming the sweet dog I knew she could be. How do I start over?

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I am just glad SassyBGrace had all of you in HER life when she needed you, as well as the other way around. I very nearly lost my dog last summer and don't know what I would have done because he's all I have. Try not to be afraid to love another again, it is in loving that we live...unfortunately, with love comes risk and more exactly, the risk of losing or being hurt again. But to withhold ourselves from loving is to be a fate worse than death.

Your dog was so beautiful and I know she was up to antics that came close to my Arlie's. I pray God give you an extra measure of grace today.

All her antics! My sister was reminding me of some of them. Love is certainly blind because I forgot all the things she destroyed! One thing she said that made me laugh was, "If I was a dog, I'd want to be in your family." Our love shows, even to non-dog people!

Kay, you are such a great mentor for unconditional love. I've never met anyone so open-hearted, even with all you've been through. I'm really glad Arlie has you! In a way, they are the lucky ones, aren't they!

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Oh yes, Kath! I could so relate to you, my fellow dog lover...we carry the term "dog lover" to a new extreme, don't we! LOL Yes, I long ago stopped counting the things Arlie destroyed...my couch, the trim on the house, dog beds, countless slippers and shoes, MP3 player, toys, knick knacks and wall hangings, over 100 hand made cards, candles, you name it and he ate it! But NONE of those things matters a whit, when I see his beautiful smile! I love this sweet creature that has adorned my life with his unconditional love. All is well with the world with one kiss from him! I have been entertained by his playing, his running through the house with one of his toys, his endearing roll over on the floor for a belly rub! I hope and pray when the time comes that you can have that love again...I know all too well how much a part of you and your kids' lives Sassy was. I also know that NO DOG will replace her, she is her own unique self! I got Arlie a few months after losing Lucky, and I can well attest that they were NOTHING alike! Lucky was so good, so well behaved and trained, I don't recall her ever chewing up anything or digging any holes. I could leave her outside all day (no fence) and when I returned home after working a full day, she'd still be there, in the driveway, waiting for me. Arlie, on the other hand, I wouldn't see the light of day with him if I cut him loose like that! But as good as Lucky was, she was nervous, and she'd cower in the corner on her bed and hope no one hit her. (we never did) But oh was she graceful! She could run more graceful than a deer, up to 45 miles per hour! Arlie is klutzy and goofy, needs a charm school to acquire any grace! No they are as different as night and day and each one special in their own right.

Kath, I know how hard this must be for you and your kids and my heart just goes out to you. I pray God will surround you with His comfort and help you through this yet another blow. (((hugs)))

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