west Posted January 9, 2011 Report Share Posted January 9, 2011 It is almost a year, but the loneliness seems so much worse. I read a lot of the posts today about everyone moving on and I think I am doing it too. The loneliness is too much, no one to talk to, to share my thoughts, to share the problems of the kids. How do you get past this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 10, 2011 Report Share Posted January 10, 2011 It takes time, much time. Try to spend some time with friends, kids, get out. It's about creating a balance for yourself...time with others, and alone time. I will always miss George but I guess I've gotten more used to the fact that I'm alone and don't have that special someone to share my life with, to talk to, to cuddle with, to help me, to share in all of life's hopes and dreams and pains. When I feel the real need to, I can open my computer file entitled "Letters to George" and share what's on my heart with him. I also got a dog and he is immense company...not just any dog would have done it for me, but this one is a true companion, very loving, very fun, very interactive...he is perfect for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lainey Posted January 10, 2011 Report Share Posted January 10, 2011 Coming to this site has filled many hours of lonliness for me and I have learned alot from the posts. I found new interests to fill my time,walking for one, spending time on the computer, and my love of reading is back.The lonliness can get to be too much at times,maybe you could reconnect with old friends. Wish I had more ideas to help. Lainey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
west Posted January 10, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 10, 2011 Thank you for your suggestions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nats Posted January 11, 2011 Report Share Posted January 11, 2011 West, I also am approaching my 1 year mark on 2/14, I have been moving ahead at a faster pace than I expected and at times it's very stressfull, I feel the lonliness of missing my wife even as I am finding comfort with a new person in my life, what has me at bay now is I am going to have to move as my wife's children have decided not to honor there Mothers wishes in signing over there portion of the deed to the house, she passed before she could sign her revised will, while I know this is best for me concerning finances as this property is up side down I am disappointed and have another major life change again....I am ready for some stressless days, home shopping is very tiring and I am a true creature of habit not wanting to leave my safe zone and the place I shared with my wife, I have a positive attitde and I know home is where the heart is so I am trying hard to prepare myself.....she was creamated and I have her with me so that is one thing that keeps me going and she always wanted another house....I stay busy and work 47-50 hours each week and read here daily, it does change, I won't say it gets better things just go different as more time passes, keep busy, visit friends, keep comming here and you will find some good ways to adapt reading the way others cope...I pray for all of us each day that God will grant us all some comfort even just a litte... NATS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb625 Posted January 16, 2011 Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 It is almost a year, but the loneliness seems so much worse. I read a lot of the posts today about everyone moving on and I think I am doing it too. The loneliness is too much, no one to talk to, to share my thoughts, to share the problems of the kids. How do you get past this? Hi West, I think we don't get past this, we get through it and it is a long road learning to live a new life. Keep working on you, take support everywhere you can for you and your family. Keep busy and try to participate outside of the home... I'm working on this too. This new life is lonely and almost 8 months into this journey there isn't a moment where I don't think of my Michael and miss him, his voice, his touch, his loving words of encouragement. My Michael will always be with me and I still continue to share my day and thoughts with him - I think he's listening and pushing me forward. Find comfort wherever you can. One year is still early in this journey. Take care, Deb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheryl Posted January 16, 2011 Report Share Posted January 16, 2011 I didn't start feeling better until the 14th month. In my case I think I needed to get through the whole year of firsts. I also think that since my husband died in an accident, the shock took longer to wear off. Try not to put a time limit or a progress scale on your grief. It is ever changing and I think as soon as you get comfortable with one feeling another one sneaks in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
west Posted January 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2011 Thank you all for your kind thoughts. My feeling is that there is nothing to do, but just keep on going and pray for the strength to complete the journey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted January 17, 2011 Report Share Posted January 17, 2011 It is almost 10 months for me and I am sitting here sobbing tonight. Saw the King's Speech today, first movie I went to with a girlfriend since Bill died. It was featured in London with antique cars and classical music...all things he loved. We had been to most of the buildings they showed. I thought I handled it well and came home and just began to sob and sob. It never ends...widow friends tell me second year can be worse and it seems that is going to be so...who knows. I am so sorry for all of your losses...so hard for all of us...and shocking, hard to get our minds and hearts around any of it. We just have to walk through it knowing we will grieve to some degree forever. We all feel robbed of our dreams and loved spouses...and the loneliness goes on and on. mfh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunstreet Posted January 17, 2011 Report Share Posted January 17, 2011 Well, I wish I could say that the lonliness goes away. For myself it is not as acute as it once was but it is still something that is part of my days still. Other people and things to do, can fill the void, but I would be not being honest with you if I said that it quenched my lonliness. The only thing I can say for certain, is that as time passes it is not as painful. ((((HUGS)))) Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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