teny Posted April 29, 2011 Report Share Posted April 29, 2011 I just wanted to say hellow and how sorry Im for all of you new here.It has been 4 years for me and very difficult full of hurt years.sometimes I feel it was only yesterday and then I realise Iv made it for so long alone.As some of you remember I could not visit his grave for 1 year.the next I found confort being there and talking to him.Life has change and Im not the same person but it gets easier and you can find some pleasure in litle things that you would not pay attention when you had your love of your life.Last night I had adream .A lion was in my frond door trying to get through my window roaring the thing is that I was not frightened and knew that it will come and go away.I woke up and realised that is how my grief is now a lion the scares me but goes away.I know for new ones the lion is at your front door and scares you to death.It takes time efford tears deppresion a lot of questions with no answers loosing faith loosing friends but also finding new ones.Some of us here found new relations .Not my case.I wish I could hadle english better to expres myself.Love from far away.TENY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne E Posted April 29, 2011 Report Share Posted April 29, 2011 Teny, Thank you for sharing your dream. What great imagery! My husband died three years ago and that lion still comes roaring at my front door. I too now realize it will not devour me and will just roar for a while and go away. My grief does not frighten me as much any more, I know I will survive. I too find pleasure in little things and memories of my husband and the life we shared together. I think your English is just fine! Thank you for sharing and giving me something reassuring to think about. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted April 29, 2011 Report Share Posted April 29, 2011 You said you were not frightened by the lion, Teny, that is a big accomplishment! You have made it through the worst hump of the grief...you may not like it but you are not scared anymore. That says something! See how far you have come in four years?! For me it's almost six. I still do not like it any better and I still have not discovered my new purpose, but somehow I'm surviving...sometimes I think just barely. But I'm doing it, alone. I've made some huge mistakes along the way but I'm living with them, isn't that part of adult maturity? We have to own our choices and actions and be responsible for them. Teny, of course we remember you! We are like a club or family that's going through this together, and I will never forget those who have been so dear to me. It's good to hear from you again. Kay PS This is my back yard at 7:00 this morning...I now have double the snow shown here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryo Posted April 30, 2011 Report Share Posted April 30, 2011 Hi Teny, Good to hear from you. Thank you for sharing your deam with us. It will be 3 years for me in July and I do agree it does get a bit easier. I am on my own and a little afraid to start a new relationship.I have my daughter and a great companionship with my dog.That is all I can handle for now. Take care. Mary Lou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarrysGirl Posted April 30, 2011 Report Share Posted April 30, 2011 Hi Teny, so glad to see you here. Time changes the pain but not the loss, or the love. I'm glad you have found some strength. I have small moments of peace but still miss him so. Take good care of yourself, from your friend, Deborah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vickie O Posted May 1, 2011 Report Share Posted May 1, 2011 Dear Teny, It is all a big change...it will be 4 years for me on Aug. 8th. You are so right about things changing, & not being the same person. How can you possibly be the same person when half of you is Missing? I'd liken it to an amputee trying to learn to use an artificial limb. We make baby steps sometimes, fall down, cry, pick our selves up & try again.Each person is different...& Teny, you are not far away, you are a brave widow, a wonderful artist, & Lianny loved you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted May 1, 2011 Report Share Posted May 1, 2011 Teny, I also loved the imagery of your dream. Grief is definitely the lion, and we learn to deal with it. We learn it is not going to kill us, and we don't fear it anymore, but it will always be there. I lost my husband 15 1/2 months ago, and mostly I am at peace, a strange peace that happened on the anniversary of his death. That does not mean that I don't grieve, and still have times when the tears come. It just means I have accepted (I think with his help) that this is my life from now on, and I just have to get on with it. I try to stay pretty busy, and I have wonderful friends (including friends on this site), who are very supportive and who "get" it. Two of those close friends are on the same journey that I am on, having lost their spouses within the past two years. We get together pretty often, and can say anything that we need to say to each other. Your english is fine, Teny. Take care Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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