Two Months

[azbrian]

It just dawned on me that in a couple of days it will be two months.

All the energy just drained out of my body and the pain is overwhelming.

Two #!$%# months.

[kayc]

Try not to use time as a benchmark (it's been two months, five months, etc.), instead, one day at a time. Our cares are enough for one day. (((hugs)))

[mfh]

I agree with kayc on taking it a day at a time but I also know that every time the 27th of the month rolls around (14 times now) I relive things...I think you will find that the markers like 3 months, 4 months, become less meaningful however...because in the end all we can do is juggle the now. mfh

[nats]

Brian,

One thing about this journey I have learned more than ever is "time waits for no one" so we must take things a day at a time as we have no clear direction since we've never been taught how to make this trip....I do know that as time passes we really do not "get over" as we'll never "get over" our loss but we do manage better, that I tell you as encouragement to continue on the path your on, you are making progress I assure you, sometimes we just don't and can't see it as we feel so lost, hurt, all alone, angry, confused and very sad, with all these emotions flowing at once things can be so overwhelming so if we take the time element and use it to our advantage we progress quicker on our journey...as the others have said day by day is how I get by but the past month I have been setting some goals and attempting to make some plans, June will be hard as that's our wedding anniversary and for some reason we feel the roughest during these times but I will move forward with memories of "happiness" as Ruth would have wanted not the "sadness" this thing grief wants me to feel...I'm serious about my quote a year ago.....

"I Refuse to be Held Hostage by Grief"

NATS/SW 06/2010

NATS

[sunstreet]

Dear Brian,

I am so sorry for your loss. I hear you and I validate that you are in a lot of pain right now at the two month mark. I am so sorry. In my experience; this is how it goes ~ it ebbs and flows ~ one thing I have done that I find very helpful is I visualize my pain as waves on the ocean; and even the biggest most turbulent wave; the one where we feel we are being thrown about and it feels we have nocontrol and are at the mercy of the powers that be ~ even this kind of wave eventually reaches shore and dissipates.

Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

[Dwaynecg]

Brian, I feel your pain. It has been three months for me and also 33 years when we met. I felt a double amount of pain and loss then before. I agree we just take each day as they come. I have set goals and am working towards them. Some day I believe I will be able to handle this loss and pain in a different way. Until then I just take each day and make the best of what I have, a life time of all the happy times Pauline and I had together that is where I draw my strength to get through one day ay a time. Hang in there.

Dwayne

[azbrian]

I appreciate the thoughts and I am not keeping track. It just popped in my head the other day.

Today is two months but I felt worse a couple of days ago when I first wrote about this than I do about it today.