Cat With Myeloma

[MattC]

Last weekend, on Sat., I took my beloved Penny to the vet. She had lost all interest in eating and was losing weight. The vet took one look at her and said the yellowing around her eyes and ears was not at all good. She suggested an x-ray and blood work. She took Penny back and drew blood and did the x-ray. The x-ray showed a very shrunken liver and enlarged spleen. So at first she said the cat probably had fatty liver disease and that there wasn't much to be done about it. We discussed some options like forced feeding and so on but they didn't seem right given her age (she could well be as old as 16, I am not sure - she was a stray and I have had her for 11 years). I took her home and was determined to at least dropper-feed her. On that same day I found some homeopathic stuff for liver disease on line and ordered it. On Monday the vet called to say the bloodwork had come back. She was severely anemic and had almost no white blood cells. Based on this, she changed the diagnosis to a likely multiple myeloma, or bone marrow cancer. That would explain the enlarged spleen and indeed maybe this cancer had spread to her liver, explaining that, too. So I also found a homeopathic cancer treatment from the same company and ordered that, too.

I have to dropper feed her with a mix of water and a nutritional powder supplement I got at the pet store. I also give her the homeopathic stuff. She still hasn't started showing interest in eating.

Every day I feel I am at work or any place else is time wasted. I could be at home with her. At the same time I know being at home with her won't stop the inevitable from happening. I will do what I can without making her life unbearable with chemo and other extreme treatments that she probably can't deal with. And every day she just gets thinner and more shiftless.

I know that if she doesn't suddenly die from multiple organ failure I will have to have her put down when she can no longer bear to be alive. I know I will know that when the time comes. She will tell me, somehow. I just have to be ready to hear her and respect her wishes and do the right thing. I would just really prefer that this day never come, that's all. I don't know if she has a day, a week, or a month. I am very sad about this whole thing.

[kayc]

Matt, I'm sorry, I know what you're going through. I had a cat named George that lived to be 19...he came to me at the age of six when his owner had to move into an apt. that didn't allow cats. We used to laugh about him looking like a bowling ball with feet, he was so fat. But in his older age, the last year or two, he started losing weight, and got 15% underweight. We were cooking liver, chicken, bacon, anything to entice him, grinding it up in a baby food grinder, and mixing it with the right amount of liquid to make it easier for him to ingest...he was down to one tooth. He got around fairly well, although slower and it must have hurt some because of the way he moved. Still, he was always my greeter. It used to be, when I'd come home from work, he'd meet me out in the driveway. Then as he got old, he'd stay on the patio or ramp to greet me. In his latter days, as I approached the patio, I could see the top of the porch swing moving and I'd know he'd jumped down and was trying to make his way over to me. Poor George! He got what looked like an abcess above his left eye and I took him to the vet. They put him on antibiotics and told me to express the gangrenous looking green stuff out of his sinuses. I would put a warm wet washcloth over his eye/sinus area to loosen it up first to make it easier. It had to hurt 1,000 times worse than any head cold I've ever had or imagined. That poor cat! We went through the antibiotics and he still wasn't well so I got them renewed. Still, no improvement. It was getting harder to get him to eat anything even though we tried his favorites, tuna, salmon, anything. I took him to another vet. I learned he had cancer and there was no going back, it went through his head and into the roof of his mouth. No wonder it was hard for him to eat! I had him immediately put to sleep to end his suffering. The suffering that poor cat went through in the last month of his life was unbearable. Yet he wasn't a complainer, he was stoic. I'd started giving his baths and holding his frail little body up while swooshing the warm water over the sinus area...as much as that poor cat hated water, he purred just because I was holding him in my hand. He purred when I put him to sleep. The last thing I told him was I loved him and he was going to a place where there was chopped bacon and I'd come join him. I know my husband was there to greet him as he entered his paradise and our dog, Lucky, has since joined them.

I don't feel bad that George died, although I will always miss him. What I feel bad about is the last needless month of suffering he endured because of a veterinary's office that misdiagnosed him. They were more concerned about getting their high fees than they were the care of my cat. I'm glad I took him to the other vet, at least his life's end came in peace.

You will know when the time is right...there will be no question. And you'll keep in mind what's best for your cat, I can tell, because you love her. They are such beloved companions and we are so lucky to have them in our lives, it's very hard to let them go. My heart goes out to you.

[MattC]

Thank you, Kay. Penny is doing as best as can be expected. She is able to get up and walk some, but she shifts her positions where she lies regularly. Like many cancer patients, I am not sure she can stay comfortable in one place for too long. She is taking to going to cool dark places and lying there for long periods. I am guessing she likes the peace and quiet. Predictably she also likes to sleep on my bed. All I can do is palliate her as best I can until she dies. It's a very long wait-- maybe. That is the hard part, there is no clear prognosis. It all depends on how aggressive the disease wants to be. She could suffer with anemia for a week, a month, whatever until it gets bad enough to kill her or cause organ failure or get her to the point where euthanizing her is clearly the best option for her. It's all very frustrating and saddening.

I am sorry you had to go through what you did with George though I am sure if you had a better idea of what was happening with him you would have done what needed to be done sooner. We can only act on the best information we have at the time and unfortunately these little ones just can't speak in a language we apprehend directly (spoken or written) but I guess we can infer based on their behavior what they want. When Penny has had enough, I am sure she will find a way to let me know. Until then I will dropper-feed her every day she can enjoy life no matter how long it takes.

[beakerj]

Hey Matt, (& Penny), so sorry to hear that Penny's so poorly. That sense of impotence in the face of their suffering is horrendous. But taking it a day at a time, or a cup of tea at a time, may be a cliche but it works. As does enjoying whatever time you have with them. Penny will pick up on your mood, so try & see it from her point of view...animals face things so much differently than we do, no worrying, no dread, just doing what they can in the moment.

Also, do ask about the chemotherapy, something in my brain is ringing a bell about cats not being affected the same way humans are by chemo...check this out with your vet.

Thisis just to say I'm thinking of you, I've had many wonderful cats in my life & your guy has already outlived them all... I wish I could have had them all forever.

Big hugs & a gentle skritch for Penny.

Becka

[MattC]

Thank you, Becka. She has made it to Sunday night here so far and seems to be getting a bit stronger. She is fighting me more as I try to dropper-feed her which is a good sign. I hope she will start eating again soon though, since this can't sustain her indefinitely. I just have to hope and pray that the homeopathic stuff I am giving her will work a miracle.

[kayc]

I hope Penny is hanging in there and you're getting some good quality time in with her...you're in our thoughts!

[MattC]

I hope Penny is hanging in there and you're getting some good quality time in with her...you're in our thoughts!

Thanks, Kay. She is still with us. She fights when I dropper-feed her still so that is a good sign. She has some strength left. Occasionally she seems to tremble a bit as she stands but aside from the lethargy and slowness when she does move, she shows few other signs of illness. One thing I am concerned with as another condition she may have is feline dementia. She seems to be out of it in a way that isn't really explicable by the illness she has. Quite unlike her, she urinated on the carpet last night. In a sense I am glad to see she has produced some output, since it seemed to me she had not over this past week. It could be that it is so much work for her to go downstairs when she is upstairs to use the litter (or even to walk into the box) that she just chose to do her business there, or maybe could not hold it until she got downstairs. (The vet said surprisingly, her kidneys looked good, but that may not have any effect at all on her continence.) Well whether this is feline dementia or a consequence of her diagnosed illness and its complications, the result remains the same: the prognosis stays bad.

I am more accepting this week that I was when I wrote my original posting. I accept now that her days are numbered, and that all I can do is try to make life as comfortable as I can until she either passes on of her own accord or until it becomes clear that life is no longer worth living for her, and then I will know to make the final trip to the vet. But if that day comes that I know that is the right thing to do, at least I will have accepted it. I feel sorry for those who have had the loss of their pets suddenly descend upon them without any time to prepare themselves, or to allow their pets to enjoy some more time under their care before they had to die.

[MartyT]

Matt, dear, my heart goes out to you in your efforts to care for your beloved Penny. Your devotion to her is remarkable. There is a Web site that you may find helpful as, in effect, you continue providing hospice care to your precious companion. It's New England Pet Hospice, and see especially this article: 5 Things No One Ever Told You about Dying. Meanwhile, know that we are holding you and your fur baby in our thoughts and prayers.

[MattC]

Thank you for your reply, Marty. I read the tip sheet and am grateful for it. I am dropper-feeding her very small amounts. She is getting just enough moisture I feel to sustain her marginally. She isn't too happy about it but is not fighting me that hard. She is eating no solid foods and shows no interest in drinking from the water fountain in the kitchen. Her behavior matches well with what the tip sheet says: she is reclusive, sleeps (or semi-sleeps) much of the time, and continues to get thinner and thinner. She is indeed entering the last stages of life. I won't rob her of this however unless it becomes apparent that she is in pain-- if she starts making noises that are consistent with an animal in distress, I will not hesitate to take her to the vet. I am not sure what other signs I would need to make me decide to do that but I have a feeling I would somehow know if she wanted me to make that decision for her. I just am not so sure what it would look like. I guess I will have to see what happens. No matter what I am just grateful every time I come home and find her sitting in front of the door. One day I may not see this and it could be because she will be too weak to get up, or maybe she will have passed on. But I take it all a day at a time.

[mfh]

Matt

I reach out to you in your pain and loss. I know that lies ahead for me again in a few years....you are doing it right. MFH

[kayc]

Matt,

You are doing everything you can and she will undoubtedly go peaceably. I'm glad you're able to cherish each moment you have with her. I know it's hard to go to work, I felt that way with my cat but unfortunately, we do have to work.

Your focus is right, one day at a time. You're in my thoughts and prayers...

Kay

[MattC]

It's been 3 weeks now and between the stuff I am dropper-feeding her and the homeopathic meds I think she is doing a little better. But it is hard to watch her become skin and bones right in front of me. It's also hard knowing that 90% of the time she would just prefer to be left alone. No more hopping up onto the bed from her, or getting awakened to her grooming my temple! These are all things of the past now. It's very sad indeed. She's hanging in there though. I just wish I knew more what to expect over, say, the next month. Waiting for someone you care about to die is indeed the longest wait there is.

[kayc]

Waiting for someone you care about to die is indeed the longest wait there is.

Yes it is. I've been through that, it's very tough. It's especially hard watching the downhill changes in them. Just keep taking care of her, you'll know you've done your best and given her the best care you could. I'm sorry it's going this way.

[MattC]

I am very sorry to report that tonight I came home from work and found my darling Penny dead.

She fought the good fight but in the end, the cancer finally took her. She was still warm but rigor mortis had set in. There was no question that she had gone. She was in one of her favorite corners to lie in, so there is some comfort in knowing that. In hindsight, a look crossed her face this morning before I left after I put her down on the couch that said that she knew her time was very near. I guess I will have to look for that same expression on my other cats' faces as they too age and eventually succumb to this or that disease.

I will have to take her in to the vet tomorrow morning. I plan to have her cremated and will keep her ashes. I am glad for one thing: that her suffering has finally come to an end. She must have been in great discomfort and death was undoubtedly a great relief for her. She is over the Rainbow Bridge now and one day I will see her again, like I will see all my cats.

[beakerj]

Oh Matt I'm so sorry. So sad that she's finally gone, no matter how fantastic it is that she died at home, in a favourite place & so on. I look forward to one day seeing all my cats too ( I made my family a watercolour family portrait for Christmas one year, all our gone-before-us cats were flying around our heads, with our still-with-us cats were round our feet, it's extra special now as it has my Mum in it )

Look after yourself & be as sad as you need to be.

See you later Penny!

Becka

[MattC]

Thank you, Becka. Yes, it will take time for me to get used to having only 4 cats in the house. I will miss her for a very long time.

[kayc]

Matt, I'm so sorry. Have you got her ashes back yet? Have you planned something special for them?

When my sister's baby died, she put a fountain in her yard with cherubs and that's where they scattered the ashes, it always brought comfort to look at it.

[MattC]

I got her ashes back packed in a blue bag and in a small, very nice wooden display case. I have them in a glass cabinet surrounded by the nice card I received from the vet who treated her and another nice card that has a wonderful poem on it about how we will meet our departed furry friends again one day.

I miss her greatly but to have wished for her continued life as it was would have only been selfish. I know how much discomfort she was in. I was going to take her to the vet on the weekend before she died of natural causes to be euthanized, she seemed to be getting so uncomfortable and out of sorts. I know she is in a better place and am glad for her for it. That doesn't change though how much I miss her.