azbrian Posted June 14, 2011 Report Share Posted June 14, 2011 It is coming soon and it is depressing me. Because of Ruth I have a Father's Day and this is the first time she will not here for it. I also think I feel worse about it because Mother's Day was not much after she died. I was still pretty numb then and looking back that day probably did not impact me as much as it should have. I really am trying to be positive and find something to look forward to everyday but there is never anything there. I am so tired from being beaten down over the last two years. There is fight left in me but not the same fight like I used to bring to the table for everything I needed to do in the past. I need the person I was back, I just don't know how to find him or were to look. Okay, trying for positive. I am going to check my email to see if anyone wants to interview me for any of the jobs I applied to. I really hope everyone is having a better day today than I am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 14, 2011 Report Share Posted June 14, 2011 I know this will be a tough day for you, I'm sorry, it's got to be hard on everyone. George died on June 19, 2005 FATHER'S DAY! Normally I get a double whammy, the 19th and also Father's Day to remember his death anv. by but this year I'm "lucky", I get it all at once. Of course, my kids will be with THEIR dad on Father's Day, every year, so that means I always get to spend his death day...alone. His birthday is today and then just Sunday is his death day, it seems a bit much for a week. I didn't even find any jobs to apply to today, depressing. But I did release a balloon with a message to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave s Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 I WISH I HAD SOMETHING PROFOUND TO SAY TO HELP.....BUT CAN ONLY STATE THAT I AM THINKING OF YOU....DAVE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheryl Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 HI Brian. I had a tough time with Mother's Day and Father's Day last year. We both tried to make those two days special for one another. I am so sorry that Ruth will not be there this year. I hope you know how much she loved you. I thought I would relay one of our great Father's Days. A couple years ago I made reservations at The Phoenician Resort for Fathers Day Brunch. Mark loved sunday brunch and they put on a real show. Free flowing champagne and lots of crab ect... one of those really pricey buffets. I big splurge for us! As we pulled up to the resort valet parking I handed him a large box. My kids were about to explode with excitement. Inside was a royal red floor length velvet cape. A gold crown with jewels and a large medallion on a gold ribbon. We announced that he was officialy King for the day! Here was my big husband strutting around the resort playing the role of King! My husband was a real ham and he played it up big. Traveling from table to table telling folks that as King for a Day we would bestow free champage for all! He traveled out to the pool and and bowed to his kingdom making all kinds of announcements that only a king could do! I was ready to hide and questioned my judgement. But we will never forget that Fathr's day and I still have the red robe hanging in the closet. I would do anything now to see him acting like a fool again. I hope this happy memory will allow you to remember your happy fathers days too. Cheryl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azbrian Posted June 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 That was a great story Cheryl. How did your open house go? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
just one more hug Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 My three kids...all married but still kids when it comes to their Dad, are having a really rough time thinking ahead to Sunday...will suggest the balloon release...such a beautiful idea...another reason I love coming to this site every day... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheryl Posted June 15, 2011 Report Share Posted June 15, 2011 That was a great story Cheryl. How did your open house go? Brian thanks for remembering! It was such a lovely night. My daughter made an awesome slide show of her life that we projected onto a sheet hung against the backyard wall. Thre were a lot of tears and afterwards and many people told me how hard it was for them to see Mark on the screen. I was actually fine through the whole thing. I live with Mark being gone everyday and the slide show was a wonderful tribute to our entire family life. I am so proud of Amy for putting it together. We had a tostada bar set up with all the fixins and it was really nice to see so many friends. I have held several neighborhood events since Mark died but it was a little strange having some of our couple friends over that I hadn't seen much of since Mark died. I could tell his high school buddies were having a tough time by the amount of beer they consumed. Anyways it was probably the best time I've had since Mark died and I guess that shows that I am begining to learn how to live life without him. The tears came later when everyone was gone and I thought about how nice it would have been to sit on the patio and talk about our party. Very hard. Cheryl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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