Tough Time Adjusting

[goldsunshine897]

Hi everyone. It's been about a year since I lost my boyfriend and I know it's time to "move on". But its harder than I realized it would be. This is the first time that I have been alone in 9 yrs. and I guess I depended on him for everything. I want to share my feelings of lonliness with others but I'm afraid that I'll burden them with my problems. I know life will eventually get better, I just want to know when.

[ustwo]

Goldsunshine....I lost my wonderful husband, my heart and soul on June 11, 2005. I do not know what moving on is nor do I know if I really want to. All of us here "left behind" just try and make it through one day at a time. And we all need to pour out our feelings...get through the pain each day. So you will find us here to listen.......I don't know what I would have done without the people at this site. I am sorry for your loss.

WaltC...my thoughts are with you and Jeannie.

Always Gene!

Always!

[kayc]

Goldsunshine:

A year...it's only been three months for me...I lost my sweet soul mate on Father's Day. I don't think we ever get over it, I think we have to learn to live with it. I have been told it gets better with time, but it can take anywhere from a year or two to the rest of one's life...everyone's situation is so unique, it's hard to compare. The only thing we know for sure is that it is hard at best. It still feels surreal to me...I have finally accepted that it's happened...accepted in the sense that I finally quit railing at God about it...but it still hurts just as much...sometimes I am numb, sometimes I have a good day, and on a fairly regular basis, I still have "griefbursts" as I've heard them called. Anything can set it off. Last night I went up on a mountain that I'd never been before without George...and that was hard. I am constantly reminded by little things...I'll see something he liked to eat or hear music he liked to listen to, or see a sight we enjoyed viewing together...and of course, it's always lonely at home. I have been told by others that have remarried that even that hasn't filled the void, no one takes their place and the pain goes on forever. I know that doesn't sound very hopeful, but it's not the pain that changes, but us...we learn to focus differently eventually...we learn to accept what we cannot change...it's forever altered us, but for myself, I am trying really hard to do positive things to bring meaning to my life...even if it doesn't bring a lot of meaning to myself, maybe I can bring meaning to others.

Let your feelings out...we are hear to listen, just like Evelyn said, we have been here for each other and we're here for anyone who needs us. It may have only been three months for me, but it feels like 50 years...

KayC