Missing My Favorite Person

[Leslie07]

My father was not only my dad, but the most awesome person on the planet to me. He was a contributor, not a taker. I'm having trouble finding joy since he passed in February. Sometimes I feel guilty because I don't love life nearly as much as he did, and feel that it should have been me that left instead of him. He loved every minute of his life and never complained, not even when the cancer got the best of him. The world is not nearly the place it was with him alive, and I'm wondering if I'll ever feel happy again. As time marches on, the loss gets more significant as I begin to realize that he's not coming back. I miss him more every day.

[jodo]

Hi Leslie,

I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad, and what you are feeling right now. I wanted to let you know that I feel exactly like you do. I lost my Dad on Dec. 30th, 2009 (20 months ago today) My whole world changed on that day and it will never be the same again. I,(like you) feel no joy, or happiness at all. I am still in terrible pain , Almost every single day I wonder how I can even go on in life without him. I still cry constantly, like you had said- it seems even worse as time goes on because of the reality that I'm not going to see him again. I have attended grief support groups, and have been on this site ever since it happened, and though they have both been "lifesavers", I just realize that there's no one that can really "help" me, and that makes me panic, and feel SO lonely.

Your Dad really sounds like an awesome person, that truly loved life. It's just not fair that wonderful people like your Dad, and mine are taken, and that "bad" people live on ???

Do you ever feel like your Dad is "with" you ?? Did you ever have any kind of "signs" ? I just ask because it is interesting to hear what others think about this. Sometimes I ask for signs from my Dad and I believe he hears me .

I will look forward to hearing more from you. (and would love to hear more about your Dad too)

Wishing you Peace, and comfort, and sending you a BIG hug,

Jodi

[loulou]

leslie,I,too am so sorry for your pain and loss.My dad passed on new years day 2010.I'm with Jodi when she says she still cries everyday,and dosnt know how to go on.I,too feel so lonely,and its getting worse.I have turned into a really negative person,and everyone I was close to is turning away.My dad was alot like yours.Loved life.He was my #1 bestfriend.The first person I would call for any reason.He was the coolest,funniest person I have ever known,and our bond was deep.I miss him still,so much it hurts.I still miss him more everyday.I'm sorry that I cant say its better.Just know you are not alone,no matter how people make you feel.hold on tight.Its so very hard.

[Matt Makaha]

your father sounds a lot like how my dad was, a contributor not a taker, and to me he was the most awesome person on the planet, and I felt the world is just not the same anymore. But more time has passed since he passed away, it's been over 2 years. At least for me, time has helped me heal, but I do still miss him. But I've been able to laugh and have fun, which is what he would have wanted, and so I think that time does help things to get better.

[Spika]

Leslie - I know how you feel, and I am sorry for your loss. My dad died August 5th, 2011. He was my hero, my mentor, and my friend. I wonder how time can go on so quickly when I am still stuck. He also had cancer and a lot of days he felt awful, but you would never hear it from him. He always put on a brave face.