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And The Losses Mount


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Dear friends,

Two days from the first anniversary of Jane/s death, I get (in order of appearance):

1. A note from one former student that another of my former students died yesterday morning of a heart attack at 38. She served on many committees and help groups, ran charity marathons and did the Pan Mass Challenge to raise money for cancer research. She was the point guard on the last basketball team I coached. A true gem of the kind every teacher dreams of.

2. A card from one of my three best friends from high school to explain the reason she has disappeared for the last nearly three months is that her husband has been hospitalized twice--and nearly a third time since I saw them in late September. He had a mild heart attack early in September and a kidney issue last winter.

3. A note on Facebook from another of those friends that her housemate died today. I had posted about him a couple weeks ago. He died at home with a visiting nurse in attendance.

I feel completely whipsawed. I cannot mourn my wife as I want to because it is all mixed up with these other folks grief and worry. And I cannot properly give what they need from me because my own loss clogs my heart. How many places can I be at one time? How many needs can I fill at one time?

And yet, the strength is there. I know that I will manage even this. It is who I am. It is what I do.

I will mourn my wife. I will comfort the bereaved. I will strengthen the staggered soul.

But somewhere, some divine or demonic power has some explaining to do. I am truly not amused.

Peace,

Harry

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Oh Harry, I am truly sorry, 38 is much too young to die and it's impossible to make any sense of it when it's such a spectacular person. You are right, someone has some explaining to do, and I don't mean disrespect when I say that...it's just beyond us to comprehend, let alone begin to understand such loss.

My heart goes out to you, please accept my condolences.

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Friends,

So this is the way the game goes--just got off the phone with our friend John. His mother went in for a routine bit of surgery this morning--but heart rate rate decided 210 was a good speed, so they sent her to the emergency room and are now admitting her.

I thought trouble came in threes--so why am I getting fours?

All I can do is laugh at this point. Otherwise the tears would overwhelm my ability to do what people need from me.

And that explanation had best be a really good one.

Argh!

Peace,

Harry

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Harry, my dear, I'm so sorry too. We all know that truism that when it rains, it pours, and for you right now it's a deluge, a virtual tsunami. I wish we could toss you one of those inflated life rafts so you could get out of the water, rest for a while, and bask in the calm that eventually follows the storm. Still, until that calm arrives, we are sending you peace and light, and will hold you close in our collective caring arms

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Harry, I am sorry you are getting hit so hard. I do hope you can find just a moment here and there to just breathe and take care of you also. Somehow we all get through this stuff...even when it comes in fours.

Peace,

Mary

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Harry,

My life has been one thing after another starting 1 1/2 months before George died. I no longer think of troubles in threes, but rather a continual barrage to contend with. I am very sorry you are getting hit with this deluge too. It seems no rhyme or reason how it strikes, no pattern that I can see.

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