It All Just Feels So Wrong Without You

[Mandime]

My other half died in from suddenly in

hospital 3 years ago in April.everyday is excruciating,

I find it's literally a struggle just to get through each day.

I was only24 wen he passed after a brief illness(he was38)

I swear when he passed I felt my heart rip into pieces an I'm

Not entirely sure how I'm still here.... Wen I try to sleep at night,

I close my eyes an all I can see is him dyin over an over again,

It feels like I'm bein tortured. this man gave me something I'd

never had before:self confidence an self worth... Also id alway believed

That people where exaggerating wen try spoke of wat feels like electricity

Surging through them just at a slight touch.i never believed in soulmates

either.untill I met him very quickly I felt the surge of electricity an knew we

were ment to be! An after just Havin him for a few short months he was torn

Away from me an I feel empty an lost...wen people ask me how long we were

Together my answer is not long enough it feels like ov been ripped off somehow

It feels very wrong that we only got a few month with each other.i still love him as much today

As I did the moment we met....my only comfort is that I told him everyday how happy he made me

An how much I love him...but yet I find my most frequent thought is that I wish I could've actually died too

Rather than it just feelin like I did. I feel like I'm missin a part of my soul.

I never used to cry now it's pretty much all I do...if I talk to my friends I can tell it just makes them uncomfortable

So I stop...I don't think I can ever get past this an feel as if I'm now just waitin till my life ends too

[Mandime]

I don't have a clue how I'm still here three years on,

I only know that he was the nicest funniest person I ever met

An so quickly after we got together I lost him an

Im findin it progressively harder an harder to get through each day

Without my love....my heart is shattered an no matter how hard I look

I can't seem to find anything to stick it back together .

[Anne E]

Mandime,

I am so very sorry for your terrible loss. The pain is indeed beyond belief, isn't it?

Are you getting any help? Is there a support group in your community that you could participate with? I have found a Woman's Grief Support Group at our local Hospice. The group accepts me, even though we did not use Hospice. I woke up one Monday morning to find my husband dead. We were dealing with complications after his double lung transplant, he appeared to be finally making positive progress, so finding him dead was unexpected and a severe shock.

Being able to talk with other women who have lost their spouse has been wonderful for me. They understand, they are not uncomfortable when I cry, they just pass the box of tissues. They listen and don't judge or expect me to "move one" and "get over it".

Would you please give a support group some thought?

Please keep visiting this site and share your thoughts and pain with us. We will try to understand and be supportive. Talking about your pain will help. We will listen.

Anne

[kayc]

I am so sorry for your loss. It seems unfair when people your age are living their lives having fun and you have this to contend with. support groups are a good way to go and of course you can always come here, we've been through it. I wish you'd had more time together. My husband and I were only married 3 years and 8 months and he died suddenly, it was a shock and not what we'd planned on, that's for sure.

[JKC]

I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. It's indescribable and all I can offer is to seek out things that remind you of how much he loved you. Do enough of those things and maybe some small comfort will come to you. Take care of yourself and ask for help from your good friends.