mfh Posted December 11, 2012 Report Share Posted December 11, 2012 Just thought I would update you on my friend who has cancer. Picture taken in about 1992---in our Wisconsin country home. For those who are new, this is a friend of 40+ years and the last of my life long friends.And a strong link to Bill. Cathy, her first (now deceased) husband and Bill and I were very close. It has always felt so good that she knew Bill so well and loved him. My other life longer friends are all with Bill....seems so strange. Cathy is my first "go to" person and I am hers and she is dealing now with cancer. The surgeon told her last week that this is a very aggressive form of cancer. On Friday she had her first chemo-6 hours. Loved the nurse and staff. It went well but then it went downhill over the weekend. We talk and/or email daily...she is having a rough time and the complications that we dealt with over Thanksgiving have reared their heads again along with her feeling as if she is under water and drugged. I wish I lived closer but do plan to get down there before the end of the month if weather allows. We got our first real snow here in Wisconsin yesterday. Heavy wet snow as I discovered when I shoveled. Though her spirits are generally good, today she cried with me on the phone and I cried with her as a result. It is difficult to have the miles between us at a time like this. I send little things like on line Jacquie Lawson's Advent Calendar which offers a little treat each day in December, books, notes, cards, cheer up stuff but it is not the same as just holding her while she cries and making her a cup of tea. Please keep her in your prayers. This is a long process with no guarantees. Peace Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted December 11, 2012 Report Share Posted December 11, 2012 I am so sorry, dear Mary. . . Prayers we can and will do. Just promise that through all of your caring for your precious friend, you will continue to take good care of you. Bentley needs you well, and so do we. ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lina Posted December 11, 2012 Report Share Posted December 11, 2012 I am so sorry. I am praying and sending lots of healing thoughts....and of course hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted December 11, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 11, 2012 Thank you, Lina and Marty I am doing OK on self care. "No", has become one of my most used words. Many people just do not see why I would not want to attend every thing going on in this valley....my hair stylist said to me that she wonders if anyone in Spring Green ever stays home. Well, I do. It feels more like a piece of my old normal. I spend more time alone as Bill and I did as a couple. We were not out there a lot. My schedule feels more balanced as I continue to live in a darkness that feels appropriate to my journey. Bentley and I are doing a lot of walking. His eye is quite irritated but I think it is a bit better. He is so cute when I put the ointment on. He just stands there like a little trooper. We see vet again Wednesday. I hope we don't have to do the cone...I do have a soft one if so. We think he got bit by something when he had his nose in the grass. Watching for Lyme symptoms but vet doubts it will be an issue. He is my top priority after myself. Cathy, because she is feeling so poorly, is really setting some boundaries...for which I am so grateful. I do see hope there. Seems like her inner strength and the old Cathy is surfacing. Cancer teaches. She knows about our "committee" of six and knows we, her inner circle, love her, support her and will challenge certain decisions she makes...gently and with love..but firmly. We humans seem to grow best and fastest when pain and loss are our teachers. Thank you both for your prayers and thoughts. These are tough, sad days for so many including me. As Wellers says...mature adults live with grief in one hand and gratitude in the other. Life without gratitude is only sad. Life without grief is shallow. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted December 11, 2012 Report Share Posted December 11, 2012 Mary I am keeping you both in my heart. This is so hard for you and of course for her. Like Marty I hope (and am glad) that you are looking after yourself. Now the weather has turned colder (here in England too) it's necessary to be more careful. You're in constant touch and she obviously knows how much you love her. I do so hope that they get control of this awful disease which sounds as though it came out of the blue as it were without much warning for her. You provide so much strength to others but I hope you are keeping enough for yourself. Like you I don't want to leave the house much. I find comfort and Pete's nearness in my little home, though I walk Kelbi our dog twice a day. Please know that we are all thinking of you both. Jan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted December 11, 2012 Report Share Posted December 11, 2012 What a nice picture, Mary. You know that I have you in my thoughts and prayers always. And I am so happy that you are taking care of you. This cancer stuff is so awful. My prayers are with Cathy and her family. I know how much you want to be with her physically. There is something so special about life long friends. Just know that you are in our hearts always. I am learning to use the word "no" also. Sometimes we just have to stop and just be quiet. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 11, 2012 Report Share Posted December 11, 2012 Mary, Thank you for sharing your picture. Our prayers are with you and Cathy as she embarks on this battle for life. I also hope you didn't have a lot of snow...mine is coming, starting tonight I guess. (Shoveling becomes a part of our every day existence in winter here.) Ahh, come Spring! (Metaphorically and literally.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted December 12, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 12, 2012 Thank you Jan, Anne and Kay. I appreciate your prayers and concern. Kay, The snow came and went. We had about 5 inches of slushy wet snow. The grass is still buried but the streets are clear. Yes, shoveling is part of our existence and though I have help when it is more than a few inches, I tackled it myself this first time this season. My driveway is quite wide and fairly long and then there is the sidewalk in front which must get shoveled by village rules. Got it done...I do not mind winter. I see it as an interior time, quiet, less going on...I am not nuts about driving on ice but I do it if I need to...Spring will be here before we know it. Peace and thanks, Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ANC1117 Posted December 19, 2012 Report Share Posted December 19, 2012 Mary, My prayers and thoughts go out to you and Cathy. My only regrets about spring is the fact that summer follows. Working in the heat of Arizona makes winter a friend of mine. Anthony Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted December 19, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 19, 2012 Thank you, Anthony. I hope to get down to see Cathy over New Year's IF the weather allows. We have a blizzard starting tomorrow and got quite a bit of snow today. It is lovely, silent, and with the blizzard...could get tricky...many inches on the way. I spent a summer in Phoenix in 2000....we were waiting for our RV to arrive...and it was REALLY hot. Peace mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 19, 2012 Report Share Posted December 19, 2012 Mary, We just had a blizzard and more wind and snow coming. I have the driveway and ramp mostly shoveled but it doesn't last. My son got here late last night and today I am off but back to work tomorrow. I hope your blizzard isn't severe! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted December 19, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 19, 2012 Glad your son is there to shovel!!!! They are now predicting 17 inches with wind (blustery) which means lots of drifts. I am just hunkering down and getting my desk cleared. I have a guy who will show up eventually to clear the driveway and sideway. The driveway is just too much for me when it is deep. I actually love the snow...the silence, beauty. I just no longer enjoy driving in it....so I won't. I think things are already getting canceled. Local radio announces...my friend (another Kathy -#3 of 6) was scheduled to open "her" food pantry for the next town tomorrow but I just talked to her and it is postponed one day. She is a giving person, starting this among other things. She is a teacher and spends most of her salary on coats and jackets and takes kids home if parents fail to show up for them. She had two kids for two weeks once as no one cared enough to see where they were...her husband was police chief at the time and could not even locate them...AWGH! Anyway I want to help her as much as I can. I will donate to it but I want to give some time also. I can't imagine people going hungry when we throw food away and pay farmers NOT to raise food. Makes no sense along with a lot of other things that make no sense. Watch that shoveling. YOU, my friend, are not a spring chicken any more.. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missing him Posted December 20, 2012 Report Share Posted December 20, 2012 Mary - what a nice picture of you all. Thank you for sharing. I will keep you both in my prayers. How wonderful it is to know you both remained friends for all these years. Thinking of you. Missing Him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted December 20, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 20, 2012 Missing Him, Thank you. She and I are in daily contact. She is now in the stage of vulnerability to germs so is staying home but she is feeling better except for extreme fatigue. Just about the time she feels better it is approaching the next treatment. I hope to see her over New Year's if the weather holds....and that is unpredictable. Peace to your heart during these tough holidays. Thinking of you, Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 20, 2012 Report Share Posted December 20, 2012 Haha, my son won't be shoveling, it'll be more like I have more to do (more dogs to walk, more to cook for, more laundry, etc). But still it's nice to see him. He'll be gone seeing his dad, my sister, running errands, so I got to see him part of the day yesterday...today I work, tomorrow I'm gone, the next day he's gone, etc. If all it snows is 4-6"/day I don't mind too bad, but when it gets to be feet, like you're experiencing right now, that gets to be a bit much! I'm glad you have someone to help you when you need it. Here, it seems like those who have blowers/plows, also head to AZ for the winter, a lot of good that does us neighbors, ha ha! Mary, How far away does your friend live? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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