Wifflesnook Posted May 23, 2013 Report Share Posted May 23, 2013 A friend who has my best interests at heart, told me that she thought I wasn't giving myself enough time to grieve. She knows I go to see my daughter every two to three weeks, and find this wonderful but tiring. I said I was at home for the rest of the time so could probably grieve there. But I pondered what she said and thought she was right. She has just sent me a link to some retreats which are less than 100 miles away (by my English standards that is a long way, but by your USA standards not so far maybe). There is one, in October, which uses the work of Louise Hay (have you heard of her?). I'm wondering if I should sign up and have sent the facilitator an email to ask for details. But I'm pretty frightened at the thought of this. In fifty years Pete and I never went away without each other. It's pretty scary to think of doing this. There may well be couples there which will make me feel even sadder than I do already. It's not a specific grief retreat (if there are such things in the UK they are much too far away for me to even consider). So I'm not too sure about this. Has anyone else done anything g like this? This is the site www.theorangetree.com and its the "you can heal your life" weekend in October. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted May 23, 2013 Report Share Posted May 23, 2013 Louise Hay has been around at least since the 70s. In those days she would have been considered "woo-woo" and may still be but I doubt it. I have not followed her in years though her organization has a free on line series of classes coming up. i will forward the email as I still get emails from them. I like her a lot. I think there is a lot of validity to what she is about. She also has a large corporation/business now with many others under the umbrella so it is hard for me to know just what kind of retreat this would be. I went to the link and I do not see the word retreat in the drop down links...maybe I missed it...I went fast as I am expecting someone here...I see relaxing weekends, spas, etc. Louise Hay was one of the first really public figures to discuss (in the 70s when this kind of thinking became popular) the metaphysical relationship between illnesses and our minds. She has quite a story and you may want to read a couple of her books first. She also promoted affirmations and a host of body-mind-spiritual ways to live and heal. She is up there now...maybe our age or older. I do like her approach to teaching positive thinking but I also wonder (and I do not know as I am not at all current on her) if she is supportive of walking through grief the way we are i.e. honoring our pain and our joy...I do not know but these are things I would be looking at before going. The other option is just to leap in and go for it...it certainly is not a bad thing in my books but I am not sure what you are looking for. Since you asked for opinions...I think doing something alone is a great growth action. Is this the time for that? Is this the place? I do not know that, of course. I do understand your friend speaking about your grief time with all your trips to your daughter's but truly only you know what you need...what feels right to you. I wonder what it would be like for you to trim back your trips to your daughter's for a while and see how that feels. I sense from your posts and emails that you are moving into a different place than you were even a month ago...less fearful of walking into your grief but truly Jan, I just do not know. I do support you in getting more information. http://www.louisehay.com/ So how is this for a specific and clear answer? I am sorry. Do some checking first. If I get any more idea or remember anything else, I will post it here. mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted May 23, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 23, 2013 Thanks Mary. One of the matters which worries me is that since it isn't specifically grief orientated I might feel isolated. I shall let you knw what response I get to my email in which I explained about losing my husband etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 23, 2013 Report Share Posted May 23, 2013 Well, and another option would be to create your own retreat. I found it was crossing a hurdle to learn to go do things by myself...whether having dinner out alone, or attending something alone, or just taking a holiday alone...it's liberating in a way, esp. when you never did before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted May 23, 2013 Report Share Posted May 23, 2013 Do something that makes you feel good, Jan. I go along with Kay - 'create your own retreat.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted May 23, 2013 Report Share Posted May 23, 2013 Thanks Mary. One of the matters which worries me is that since it isn't specifically grief orientated I might feel isolated. I shall let you knw what response I get to my email in which I explained about losing my husband etc. Jan, this sentence...that it is not about grief and you fear being isolated and other things you have said lead me to also agree...create your own little retreat either at home or take a little road trip. We have two monasteries here and I have used both of them for getaways to a retreat like environment. The response to your inquiry will tell you a lot but do what feels good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted May 23, 2013 Report Share Posted May 23, 2013 And if you do decide to go, Jan, make sure you give yourself permission to leave, if at any point you feel too uncomfortable to stay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted May 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2013 I'm thinking it may not be right for me. I've woken up in a state of anxiety, partly because I'm travelling to Leeds today, but that doesn't usually make me anxious. I'm thinking Kay's idea is more suited to me right now. I hope this anxiety goes away. It makes me realise I don't usually feel it. Grief, yes, but not anxiety. Panic almost. I'm wondering why it has come upon me right now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted May 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2013 Just a quickie. What time clock does the forum use? It is now 7.21 am here and I'm wondering what time my posting will say? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted May 24, 2013 Report Share Posted May 24, 2013 "Just a quickie. What time clock does the forum use? It is now 7.21 am here and I'm wondering what time my posting will say?" The time on your post here says 1:22 AM. I suspect that is MY time (Central) as opposed to AZ time because I believe you and I are 6 hours different and AZ is 2 hours earlier than I am....at least Anne is two hours behind me....so if it was posting AZ time it would post 8 hours difference...I think...which means on Anne's computer it might read 11:22PM. Anne???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted May 24, 2013 Report Share Posted May 24, 2013 Sunny and DRY AZ does not observe time zone changes. So Because so many other places do and we don't it is 6:25 am here and 2:25 pm in Leeds, England this time of year. I am now eight hours apart from you dear Jan. Today's forecast here in The Valley of the Sun (with DRY conditions always) will be 91 degrees. Today around 11:00 am AZ time if the winds are blowing in your direction you will be able to smell Banana Nut Bread baking and cooling out on the patio under a net dome. Benji and I will go over to the fire station and deliver the bread. There will be fresh Banana Nut Bread today and tomorrow for anyone thinking of stopping in to dry, sunny AZ. Using buttermilk and walnuts with a touch of cinnamon add to the yummm. I think the time zone used on the forum is NYs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 24, 2013 Report Share Posted May 24, 2013 It reads 11:22 pm on my computer and I'm Pacific time (I get mixed up which is daylight savings and when is Standard time), but I thought we were 8 hours difference? There is a setting somewhere you can choose in your profile or somewhere, I went through that a while back and it was posting my time off but it finally resolved itself. Since you don't normally get anxiety, maybe it's a warning or answer to your question about attending a retreat that you feel may not be right for you. Oh Anne, you're making me so hungry, that looks and smells so good! (I'm easily led into food) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted May 24, 2013 Report Share Posted May 24, 2013 Dear ones, the site is set for Arizona time, since Hospice of the Valley is based there. However, as Kay says, each member has the option of setting his or her own time zone. Hover your mouse over your own name (top right, main page) and click on it. When the drop-down list appears, click on My Settings, then set your preference in the Time Zone box. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted May 24, 2013 Report Share Posted May 24, 2013 Today's forecast here in The Valley of the Sun (with DRY conditions always) will be 91 degrees. 91 degrees no matter how DRY is way too hot for me. It will top off at 67 here today which is just about perfect. July and August are a different story...when it hits the 90s or even more...and yes, Anne, very humid as you know since you also have Chicago roots. Enjoy your trip to the fire station. Send each of us a loaf of banana bread. I am thinking of you on the eve of this sacred anniversary. Peace to your heart, Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted May 24, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2013 Thanks I have done that. Now has my own time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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