Lost Both Parents

[Mhdz602]

My name is maria. And I lost both my parents in 2011. My mom passed in April, than May my dad passed. I was extremely close to my mom. (I'm 29) she was always there for me. Sometimes I think to myself.she going to come back. (Don't know if anyone feel that way about their lost loved one. ) I also realize, I think about her more than my dad. Sometimes I catch myself talking about my mom as if she still alive.

There are planty of times that I feel alone. Even though I have a big family. But dont have a family of my own. .I lived with both of my parents. Which at the time of both their death. Were divorced but still live with each other.

At this moment me and my family are still dealing with my dad estate. (2 probate in 2 countries) Which makes it all overwhelming. I think because we are dealing with his estate. Seems like I can't move forward in life. I became the deed of my dad house. (Which I'm living in at the moment. ) There are times I want to sell it bc, its a lot to deal w it. And my little brother is not much help. But my family doesn't want me to. Especially if its paid off.

Since my parents death. My brothers and sisters hardly come by the house. We do still have family gatherings. But they don't come like they used too.

I really do miss my mom. : ( I have been thinking going to therapy. Just to talk about it. But a bit sacred.

Both parents passed from cancer.

[enna]

Hello Maria,

I am so sorry that you lost both your mom and your dad. You are so very young to have this sorrow placed on you. It is very understandable that you feel alone at times and not unusual that family members don’t come around as often.

You mentioned that you were thinking about going to therapy and I hope you mean seeing a grief counselor for they will understand what you are going through and be able to guide you through this most difficult time in your life. People here on the forum can be a support to you as you grieve for your dear parents. Anne

[kayc]

Maria,

I'm sorry you lost both of your parents at such a young age. It's not uncommon for families to change their habits after losing their parents, they often felt they were the glue that held the family together. I do hope you will see a grief counselor, they can be tremendous help and help you find a road map for where you want to proceed from here. Yes, loss and the aftermath can seem very overwhelming.

[Mhdz602]

My brothers and sisters call, text me. But it's not same as when my parents were alive. My mom was over procted of me. Bc I have a heart condition. She was always afraid of something worse would happend to me. I rearly didn't cry at her service. Bc she told me not to cry. My sibilings however brook down. They ere all concern about I how I would re-act. But I just kept myself busy trying to take care of my father. They said i'm strong how I handle my mom death. But really I feel sad. : ( I dream once about my mom and once about my dad. Sometimes I see people that look like my dad.

When my parents were alive I, re-sign of my job of 3 yrs. To help take care of them. I was out of a job for almost 6 months. Now I work night shift and I tend to work a lot. Always picking up overtime. Just to keep me busy. And keep my mind off things. What makes it hard for me is, I saw my mom took her last breath and hold her hand. She was placed in Hosipic of the Valley. On her death bed I promise her that I will learn how to drive. (didin't know how to and she was the one who drove me around and pick me up,) a monther after my dad passed I got my DL.

I'm going to be 30 in oct. I feel like I need stop thinking about the past and mover farword. And start meeting people. But bc my mom sort of kept me shelter that had a little effect on me. And I guess I'm sort of scare of change.

[katrina407]

I am very sorry for your loss, speaking from my loved ones gone, I think of them , espeacially my Mom, it has only been a year, so yeah i still feel lost at times without her. So again i am so sorry for your loss!

[kayc]

People grieve differently but just because you didn't cry doesn't mean you weren't grieving. Have you lived on your own before? Being the youngest sometimes you get stuck with taking care of the parents when they age, I know my brother did a lot. Congratulations on getting your driver's license!

Are you seeing a grief counselor?

[Mhdz602]

People grieve differently but just because you didn't cry doesn't mean you weren't grieving. Have you lived on your own before? Being the youngest sometimes you get stuck with taking care of the parents when they age, I know my brother did a lot. Congratulations on getting your driver's license!

Are you seeing a grief counselor?

No I haven't lived alone before. And I'm not the youngest. Have been thinking seeing a grief council. A co worker is going to therapy for his lost. He recommended me his therapist. But I guess. I just have to Get the courage and pick up the phone.

[kayc]

I would think it'd be all the harder since living away is something new for you. We all face it sometime, but the difference being, we knew if it didn't work out we could go back to our parents. (That wasn't the case in my situation, but in most people's.)

I'm glad you're considering going to a grief counselor. Do you have a sibling that might attend with you?

[Aquarius7]

I am SO sorry! Losing both parents leaves us with a feeling of being all alone in the world. It has been 3 years for me and I miss them both more than ever. I don't feel I am doing much better. It is indeed the feeling of thinking they are going to come back and this is all temporary. Well, we WILL meet again one day! I am so sorry!

[kayc]

Aquarius,

I'm sorry for you as well...you're right, time can pass and we still miss them.