Meds. Prolong Grieving

[blueiis325]

I have a question for anyone who has taken Xanax when your spouse died. I called my doctor when Rod passed away so I could get something to help me get by and through the day. I was given Xanax and I find when I don't take them I am crying all day. I think maybe they are surpressing my feelings and stopping me from grieving Rod's sudden death. It makes sense to me when I think about it. Anyone's thoughts....

[MartyT]

Dear One, I know you'll be hearing from some of our members about this, but in the meantime you may want to read these articles (including the Related Articles listed at the base of the posts):

Anxiety Attacks in Grief: Tools for Healing

Interview: Are We Medicating Normal Grief?

[kayc]

I didn't take any thing when George died, although the doctor offered it. I would check with your doctor though about the crying when you don't take it.

[blueiis325]

Thank you Marty for the information. The articles were helpful.

Have a great day.

Loretta

[zeeks]

I was prescribed Xanax for a panic/anxiety disorder before Roger passed by maybe one year. It has been seven years since he has been gone; I still wonder to this day if I will ever really be done enough to actually feel like life is moving forward. We raised my two granddaughters and they are still young and with me now, I am in college , this is my sixth year; if I make it through this year I will have a business degree; yet to me life really has not moved on....I miss My Roger so much, daily, I wonder so many things; yes I eat, breathe and move my actual feet forward.... I am still on the Xanax ; but really if I was not I could not even move due to the original disorder. I so want to be "normal" again, but disorder or no disorder I know I never really will be normal. My granddaughters knew their papa as their father figure, and two years prior to his death they lost their mother. My step son who is their father more or less has issues of his own both emotional and psychological and chooses his wife now as opposed to children for fear of being without a partner. I can't fathom his decision, he even lost the last two children to the state seven years ago.... he has five all total, I have 2, 2 in adoptive home and 1 who is with the other grandparents.... he was told if he left his spouse 7 years ago he could have the 2 which were adopted out; he chose her as well.... they were young enough though that they have a normal life and think of their parents now as their original. So medication is not really the culprit for your sadness.... it does not matter, a soul mate is a soul mate no matter what. I guess what we keep hearing on here is true---- time will heal us, but how much time? Only God knows! I figure if my 2 granddaughters can lose so much and still find joy and not be angry then I can do it as well.... they are my teachers of life, them and God, so I listen and keep trying.

I do not know if this will help.... but can't hurt. Prayers and thoughts to you, Zeeks

[Guest babylady]

when john was diagnosed with a brain tumor i started getting anxiety attacks and asked my doc for ativan. had never taken it, but heard good things about it. during the 3 months john lived and after he passed i started taking 3 a day. i gradually cut back. that being said, it didn't help with the crying. i've tried 5 different antidepressants and they didn't work -- some had negative side effects. a few months ago the anxiety attacks started again and i'm taking ativan. i try taking 1/2, but most times i have to take a whole one. i take at least 1 a day -- sometimes more. most days i wake up with an anxiety attack. i don't like taking it, but at times my pulse rate goes up high. the morning john passed my pulse went up to 137. i tend to run a high pulse (between 86 and 94 resting).

john has been gone almost 16 months and i'm still a mess. i read about tumeric -- supposedly it can help with depression so i've been on that about a week. also started seeing my therapist again.

sometimes i take the ativan for sleep too.

i wish there was something i could take that would take away my emotions. i've always been an anxious and emotional person who cried easily but it's worse since john is gone.

here's the link for the tumeric.

http://www.greenmedinfo.com/blog/science-confirms-turmeric-effective-14-drugs

arlene