I Accidentally Killed My Beautiful Kitten :(

[MartyT]

I'm so sorry to learn of these latest accidental deaths, and my heart reaches out to both of you. I can only hope you will take the time to read some of the articles mentioned above, and take their content to heart. ❤️

[Julez]

A few years ago , me and my partner were arguing and I went to slam the living room door and felt it hit something, when I looked my sweet little kitten was convulsing around on the floor with blood coming out of his nose , he was running after me as he followed me everywhere 😢 , I can’t forgive myself this was 20yrs ago and I still have horrific flashbacks

[kayc]

I'm so sorry @Julez.  Sometimes we need professional help getting through something, especially when there is a traumatic image stuck in our mind.  You might look for someone who can guide you through EFT or EMD.  

Read here:

EFT
EFT in Grief
EMDR
Psychology Tools, CBT, EMDR
Brainspotting and EMDR
http://www.griefhealing.com/comfort-grieving-animal-lovers.htm
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

 

Your little one long ago made his way to the Rainbow Bridge, and would have long ago understood that this was accidental, and not intentional.   I imagine if he could tell you anything it would be that he forgave you all those years ago and knows how much you love him.  I strongly believe we will be with them again.

My Fluffy (dog) died an accidental death too, he climbed unbeknownst into the back of my van and hid, I closed the door and drove to work, not knowing that while I worked he was just outside my office window, dying, it was a hot August day and the windows rolled up.  When I went out to the van that night, he rolled out into my arms, stiff as a board.  

We have these memories but need to let go of the guilt.  This was unintentional.  We learn from our mistakes.  II would be surprised if you ever slammed a door in anger again.  For myself, I am more intentional about knowing where my pets are and making sure they're accounted for.  All we can do is make changes going forward.

Have you tried writing a letter to him?