kevin Posted November 10, 2015 Report Share Posted November 10, 2015 Well for some of us it is Thanksgiving(again) and then the run up to Christmas......This is a tough time to say the least. Got an E mail today from Grief toolbox I think I should share....the last couple of lines are good............ Holidays Can Be the Most Trying - New Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debi.williams Posted November 10, 2015 Report Share Posted November 10, 2015 This is going to be so hard this Christmas. Beautiful Kevin, my friend, the part that says 'I am Thankful' really hit home. Missed you xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 11, 2015 Report Share Posted November 11, 2015 I would add giving yourself permission to find joy in things because I do believe that's what our loved ones would really want for us. Deedo was a huge Christmas elf. Her dream was to become a helper in Santa's workshop. (One Magic Christmas). She wants me to embrace Christmas as always. We will see Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted November 11, 2015 Report Share Posted November 11, 2015 In that sense it gets harder the further out. People don't want to think about loss, especially when it's been ten years. They might be patient for those newer in it, but for the rest of us...I mostly grieve in private and try not to ruin others' holidays. In a way it was easier 9-10 years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted November 11, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 11, 2015 My plans are pretty simple. touch basis with my kids and extended family week before Christmas.......Return home within 4 days and spend Christmas alone..........I have over 40 years of tremendous bountiful Holidays in my memory bank, this year I will spend it with Angela and our Pets .....The house and yard will lit up in a true Griswald tradition .........I will veg out and watch movies and at least one Marathon program of some type.......PS great to have you back Deb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted November 11, 2015 Report Share Posted November 11, 2015 I know I will be spending the holidays alone. I lucked out last year as it was a nice day for Seattle and got to take the dogs to the dog park with a walking buddy. But the actual celebration of the holiday Steve and I did will not happen. We didn't do much anymore, but it was fulfilling. It is often the anticipation that is worse than the day and I hope that is the case again this year. Tho I know I will miss waking with him and spending the day doing whatever. Christmas Eve will be hard too. Thanksgiving was really our favorite as we cooked together a tiny feast. Everyone I know will be with their families and like Kay, I could visit, but I would be terrible company. Not saying you would be, Kay. But I know it would just magnify the loneliness as we were content here, so it would be so out if the ordinary and I have that going for me every day. Coming home alone would be too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted November 11, 2015 Report Share Posted November 11, 2015 I hope my daughter will come for Christmas but we never know until the last minute because I live in snow country, it depends on the roads/weather. My son doesn't come home any more since he got married and since I don't drive at night, can't leave the house overnight in the winter or the pipes will freeze (I literally have to keep the fire burning), it makes it hard to go there, plus I have a dog I can't take there and no kennel in town. It's okay, it does get lonely, esp. Christmas Eve, I'm always alone then.People think because it's been so long, I'm okay. They don't have a clue what it's like to be alone at the holidays and missing the one I love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted November 11, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 11, 2015 There is a lot of great quotes in Shawshank Redemption, but one that applies to us/and grief is something Morgan Freeman said....".You better get busy living, or get busy dying"..........the First Christmas will be difficult.......as will the other firsts, but I plan on making some NEW firsts in future years, but I reconciled I will always carry a heavy heart....and this new person I am becoming,is a changing work in progress.........this being alone puts us on a steep learning curve with a few marbles missing.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted November 11, 2015 Report Share Posted November 11, 2015 That is a great quote, I'll try to remember that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
debi.williams Posted November 11, 2015 Report Share Posted November 11, 2015 Kevin, sounds like you have a pretty cool plan for the holidays.Gwenivere, I totally understand when you say that 'coming home alone would be too much' and there is something about Christmas Eve isn't there? Maybe the anticipation takes us back to our childhoods? I don't know, but I am certainly dreading it.Kay, there can never be a time limit on missing your soulmate. It doesn't matter how long has passed. I wish people would understand that, but if it hasn't happened to them they just don't. I so hope your daughter makes it to see you. It must be even worse not ever being able to be sure because of the weather x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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