6 weeks today

[hollowheart]

That's why I think if you unfollow them them then you won't get any status updates and you shouldn't get anything from them. You can do this through your settings. You can even block him and have the option to unblock him open to you. If people are still posting on his page and you are getting those status updates, yes, that would be extremely distressing and annoying.

[hollowheart]

16 hours ago, scba said:

I agree hollowheart, it is a solitary world after year 1. That is why I told my friends that I live two lives, one on the outside and another one in the inside, and that they are free to ask about both of them or just one. I aknowledge that I live in my hometown when nobody met my boyfriend and I cannot expect people to talk or ask me about our lives together. He is a stranger here. Therefore I pay, yes, I pay someone to talk and listen about him and us, that is my therapist. I pronounce his name in his office. How sad. How wrong is all of this.

 

Yep, I pay a therapist too to talk. I guess that is, literally, the price I pay for some support. I want to not be hard on my friends. I know that I have consoled those who lost others, but also went back and enjoyed my everyday life. I am just really stressed out and in anguish over this loss. It was such a significant loss for me.

I lost my grandma (she was 103) and I was able to get over that just fine, but I also don't recall any friends giving me any support over that. Her funeral was actually on my birthday, so imagine the kinda of trauma that should have inflicted. But she was 103 and had been in hospice a couple weeks before, so it was expected. This is not a loss I can be OK over. Ever.

[kayc]

If you block him and unblock him, it will require his friending you and he won't be able to do that so you won't see his FB account again.  I wouldn't choose that route because you might feel differently on down the road.  Our responses change in our grief journey.

[Gwenivere]

Thanks, Kay.  I am taking your former advice of ignoring the whole Facebook crap.  Just ignore it.  I did for years.  Steve only used his to announce things his charitable foundation set up to announce music gigs.  As those are not happening, his fellow members let it die, another painful thing, it's not worth what little energy I have.  It was being reminded that threw me because I forgot about it.  I need to do that again.  I'm learning.  The pace only brings pain.  Pain is not good.  Having experienced the pain, do not do it again.  As they say, insanity is going the same thing over and over expecting a different result.  

[hollowheart]

He will only need to friend you if you completely unfriend him, blocking is something you control. Just unfollow him. But if you choose to ignore Facebook stuff that works too.