Lindork Posted January 5, 2016 Report Share Posted January 5, 2016 Hi everyone my name is Linda I am new here. I lost my boyfriend David of three years due to a motorcycle accident on December 1, 2015. We had just barely moved in together for a few months. I have been seeing a psychiatrist once a week but that only helps for that moment. Then I go back to feeling bad. I am taking antidepressants because I have hurt myself and have suicidal thoughts. I am also taking sleep medication because I cannot sleep at night. I still have not accepted that he is not here. His funeral was this past Saturday. I only feel like it made me feel worse. Although my family and the few friends that I have say that they are here for me, I feel so alone. So I though sharing my story with people who are going through or have gone through this can help me feel some what better. I miss him so much and I want to get better for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tfer Posted January 5, 2016 Report Share Posted January 5, 2016 Hi Lindork, I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss. You have found a good place because we all know exactly how you feel. Take time with yourself, do what feels right for you and if that includes prescribed medication, that's just fine. I lost my husband Ritchie 5 months ago in a car accident (he was a huge motorcycle enthusiast and I still have his Harley sitting in the garage). I miss him every minute of every day. I completely understand your feelings of alone-ness. This is, unfortunately a road you have to walk alone -- BUT there are many people here who can help. This is a place you can say what you feel and know you will be understood and supported. Give yourself some time too. This is so new for you. continue seeking help from wherever it feels right and know that there are people here for you 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindork Posted January 5, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2016 Thank you so much. I already feel like this will be a good place. I hope some day I'll be able to return the favor and be there for others. These feelings are all new to me. I have never lost anyone that I was so close to. We did everything together and being at home with an empty bed is the worse. Everything reminds me of him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Janka Posted January 5, 2016 Report Share Posted January 5, 2016 Dear Lindork! I´m so sorry for the loss of your beloved boyfriend and all of those things you´re going through now.We all understand as we all lost a beloved one,the dearest person in our lives.I´d also like to be your comfort and support you need so much,so please,just come here as often as you need to talk to.We all are listening all the time.I really hope this is the right place for what you´re looking for now to lessen your pain,to get better and to find a power for going on.You´re not alone.Please,take care! Hugs from Janka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollowheart Posted January 5, 2016 Report Share Posted January 5, 2016 1 hour ago, Lindork said: I have never lost anyone that I was so close to. We did everything together and being at home with an empty bed is the worse. Everything reminds me of him. I know this feeling. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so hard when you see them everywhere. That is me. I can't escape. Thank you for sharing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 5, 2016 Report Share Posted January 5, 2016 Linda- Welcome to the discussion group and I am so sorry you have a reason to be here. Losing someone so close and so young (I assume) is so very painful. Right now the pain is so fresh and so raw. I'm glad you are seeing a psychiatrist, I would also strongly suggest finding a good grief counselor if you can. Hospice of the Valley has some wonderful support services if they are in your area. As you a new to grief you need to understand that it is and will be the worst thing you will ever encounter but you will be okay someday, very different, much stronger but someday you will be able to laugh again and someday your memories of David will bring smiles mixed with tears but they will bring smiles. This is a good place to vent, to cry, to yell, to scream. It's a good place to let yourself feel everything that is grief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scba Posted January 5, 2016 Report Share Posted January 5, 2016 I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my boyfriend more than a year ago. Take one day and one hour at a time,. I remember that his funeral was mine, the funeral of my life as I new it and of my dreams. I had to left the apartment and moved back to my hometown and with my parents. I mourn many secondary losses. A year later I can tell you that I dont cry and ache so much, but this journey is a very long one, this the first thing to accept. Length and obstacles. But you are not alone. This is a safe place to express your emotions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindork Posted January 6, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 6, 2016 Thank you everyone for your kind words. Knowing I'm not the only one and talking to people that have gone through this eases the pain. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 6, 2016 Report Share Posted January 6, 2016 Lindork, I am sorry for your loss. Losing someone who is such a vast part of your life affects every aspect of your being. I'm glad you're getting help, hurting yourself isn't the way to help yourself! Sleep can be a problem in the early months, I went to a recliner as the bed was just one big empty reminder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WolfsKat Posted January 6, 2016 Report Share Posted January 6, 2016 Welcome, Linda......and, as others have already said, I wish you had no need to be here. I'm still fairly early in my grief (my Connor died 11 weeks ago today) but I can tell you that I already see a bit of "progress" in this painful and heartbreaking journey......which I'd not have believed if anyone had told me in the first agonizing weeks. It's a good thing that you are seeing a psychiatrist....but, as Brad suggested, the addition of a counselor specifically trained in grief therapy would likely be a excellent choice on your part. Feeling so very alone, even with caring people around you, is very common.....in a sense, we are alone in our grief, as only we know how it feels to be "us".....and this road is one only we can walk. But we can, and should accept all of the support we can find from others, it can be a lifeline. You will find support, understanding, and compassion in this forum.....just being able to come here, and express yourself, share your pain.....it does help! Also, when you can, check out the many links Marty has provided us....a wealth of knowledge and support to be found there as well. Again, welcome.....I hope you will continue to post as often as you need/wish to! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindork Posted January 7, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 7, 2016 17 hours ago, TH said: There is a lot of kindness and support here, which I hope will help you even a tiny amount. It does! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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