Guest Janka Posted May 16, 2016 Report Share Posted May 16, 2016 My beloved Jan, today belongs to your birthday,sweetest honey!I´ve brought you the most beautiful roses as I always do to you...There was such a rainy day here,but God has listened to my prayers and sitting at your grave I´ve felt a sunshine on my face and birds were singing all along...It was you who has brought the sunbeams to let me know that you´re always by my side...I was crying again...I couldn´t help it...You´re missed forever,dearest sweetheart!I went to church and praying a lot for you...I was very sad,sitting so quiet,telling God to hold us both close to him for eternity...because I can´t live without you...I´m crying now...please,forgive me the tears I cry...it hurts too much...I don´t want to make you sad...you´re my everything...I want to be with you in heaven...my immortal beloved... Love you,adore you,need you...want to be with you as one again...give me your hand and we´ll never be apart... Forever yours, Janka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 16, 2016 Report Share Posted May 16, 2016 I've missed you Janka. Happy Birthday to your most beloved man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted May 17, 2016 Report Share Posted May 17, 2016 Such a beautiful sentiment for your Jan, Janka. I hope you are well. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted May 17, 2016 Report Share Posted May 17, 2016 Hello, dear Janka. Thinking of you as you think of your dear Jan. You are missed on this forum. Hugs. Anne 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Janka Posted May 25, 2016 Report Share Posted May 25, 2016 Thank you Brad,Karen and Anne for your kind responses! I appreciate it much! With love Janka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillT Posted May 25, 2016 Report Share Posted May 25, 2016 Dear Janka, You have put into words what I feel toward my dear Mary Kay. God help us please! 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Janka Posted May 26, 2016 Report Share Posted May 26, 2016 Dear Bill! I´m sorry for meeting you this way...I´m sorry for going through so much pain I also have known already 4 years,6 months and 15 days...I´m sorry for the loss of your beloved one...This month is very hard for me...my beloved Jan´s anniversary...his heavenly birthday...my birthday that we used to celebrate together...May...month of love...it hurts so much...You´re in my prayers... Hugs from Janka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillT Posted May 26, 2016 Report Share Posted May 26, 2016 Thank you Janka, My sweet Mary Kay died just four months ago. I am crushed. I cry and I scream in anguish. Does not matter. To never hear her voice calling out "I'm home", or saying "I love you!" or "You're MY Baby!" creates a hollow in me that is bigger than me. I am nothing but pain without her. The thought of a future like this is abhorrent. I have no family, and the few friends I have are moving on. I pray that the Lord will take me soon and quickly. Love and prayers to all Bill 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cookie Posted May 26, 2016 Report Share Posted May 26, 2016 Janka: So sorry for your pain. I can tell how much you loved Jan. You're in my thoughts....say a prayer for me.....warmly Cookie 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jgillen Posted May 27, 2016 Report Share Posted May 27, 2016 I am so sorry for your pain, Janka. What a special moment you had with sunshine and birds. Thank you for sharing!! I hold onto all of those moments when the wind blows or a butterfly hangs around for awhile. I hope you have more of these beautiful moments. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Janka Posted June 9, 2016 Report Share Posted June 9, 2016 On 26.5.2016 at 4:14 PM, Cookie said: Janka: So sorry for your pain. I can tell how much you loved Jan. You're in my thoughts....say a prayer for me.....warmly Cookie Thank you,Cookie! It´s so sweet of you.I keep praying for everyone and always will. With love Janka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cookie Posted June 9, 2016 Report Share Posted June 9, 2016 So sorry for what you are going through BillT. It does hurt so much and I grit my teeth a lot. You are not alone; many of us know what this is. Hugs to you....Cookie 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Janka Posted June 9, 2016 Report Share Posted June 9, 2016 On 27.5.2016 at 3:42 AM, Jgillen said: I am so sorry for your pain, Janka. What a special moment you had with sunshine and birds. Thank you for sharing!! I hold onto all of those moments when the wind blows or a butterfly hangs around for awhile. I hope you have more of these beautiful moments. Dear Jgillen! I´m very sorry that you must be here with us and send you from the heart many hugs to lessen your pain and make you feel better at least for a while.Our loved ones are always near us,hold us and help us in everything we have to go through until we meet them again. They love us,too so much and every chance they get,they try to remind us. With love Janka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 Love to you, Janka. I always love the signs that my Jim is still with me. Not as I would like him to be but he is with me. Bill, we are your extended family now and will be here for you always. Anne 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Janka Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 "The white bird by the window met the May,so sunny, singing about your Birthday you had,sweetest honey, such restless,dishevelled and very small, but a huge courage wasn´t missing at all, the happiness is something that can´t pay the money." With love, forever yours, Janka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Janka Posted June 10, 2016 Report Share Posted June 10, 2016 On 26.5.2016 at 3:18 PM, BillT said: Thank you Janka, My sweet Mary Kay died just four months ago. I am crushed. I cry and I scream in anguish. Does not matter. To never hear her voice calling out "I'm home", or saying "I love you!" or "You're MY Baby!" creates a hollow in me that is bigger than me. I am nothing but pain without her. The thought of a future like this is abhorrent. I have no family, and the few friends I have are moving on. I pray that the Lord will take me soon and quickly. Love and prayers to all Bill Dear Bill, my heart aches for you when I remember my first months...absolutely devastating though I had no chance to be just me myself...I had to go to work the next day after I got to know about my worst loss,the hardest wound,mine and mine only...and it was just my work that helped me a lot and keeping me busy all along...Now it´s 4 years and 7 months tonight and it doesn´t seem to be much better...although I was able to cope with immense pain walking by my side so far,I can´t cope with terrible loneliness walking hand in hand with anxiety by now,hitting so suddenly and without invitation,so unexpected all the time...It´s just the loneliness that became another best friend of mine...and I can tell you that is very persistent and faithful friend...the loneliness...Dear Bill,I do understand...I also have no family,no children,just 3 best friends of mine,forum full of kind people who are the only ones understanding how it feels and my faith in God I can´t be without anymore...However those best friends of mine have never lost a loved one and they live their own lives,too...I do know what you mean...I still pray to God for being with my beloved Jan as soon as possible...till then I try to live the best I can to be worthy of being in heaven as one with him again...He is the best,my most beautiful,only one and irreplaceable forever...I still cry for him...like a little girl...and always will... I´m so very sorry for what you´ve been going through,Bill...and send my love and prayers to you... Hugs from Janka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cookie Posted June 11, 2016 Report Share Posted June 11, 2016 I am so sorry for both of you, Bill and Janka. Thanks for sharing Janka. It's been a year for me and I still have unbearable loneliness and anxiety. I would not wish it on anyone, but there is some small comfort in knowing I am not the only one feeling those things. Sometimes, you look around and everyone just seems to be going on with their lives in such a contented way and you feel very isolated. Anyway, hugs to you both....Cookie 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillT Posted June 11, 2016 Report Share Posted June 11, 2016 Thank you Janka and Cookie. Your words somehow ease the loneliness I feel. Please pray. Bill 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janka Posted March 16, 2018 Report Share Posted March 16, 2018 Dear Bill and Cookie! I´ve found this post of us writing on the thread of mine...It´s gonna be 2 years since then...Would you believe that? Love you both! Hugs from Janka 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janka Posted June 1, 2018 Report Share Posted June 1, 2018 This thread of mine that I started 2 years ago brings all of those memories back... It´s after my beloved Jan´s birthday and mine too...It was so hard,and yet very happy,because I spent it on the boat with one best friend of mine and my beloved one was watching from above...The day was warm and sunny and knowing that he´s in heaven now put a smile on my face once again...There´s no other place for someone like him at all,because he was the best,most beautiful and only true love that I´ve ever known in my whole life... Happy heavenly birthday again,my love! May God bless you for eternity... Forever your Janka 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janka Posted June 2, 2018 Report Share Posted June 2, 2018 Nothing will ever bring him back into this life again... The most beautiful look of him,the kindest heart and his brightest smile... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad Posted June 4, 2018 Report Share Posted June 4, 2018 Thinking of you today. I know it’s hard. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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