A Tribute to Soaring Spirits International

[MartyT]

If you don't yet know about Soaring Spirits International and what it's done for widows and widowers, this article offers a wonderful overview, from one who speaks from experience! 

A Light In the Dark - My Tribute to Soaring Spirits International

POSTED BY KELLEY LYNN ON MAY 27, 2016

 

To say that Soaring Spirits International, and all of their many programs for widowed people, literally saved my life, is still not a strong enough statement to express the alarming difference it has made for my day to day existence.  READ ON HERE >>>

[Margm]

Thanks Marty.  

[Margm]

I have a phobia about reading some of these things.  It is okay to read this month's posts, but I don't want to read anything that happened in 2015.  I know it is not sensible, but there is a lot about me that is not sensible right now.  I started reading and one right after the other said "7 months ago."  I know realistically I was alive seven months ago but then unrealistically I did not live in 2015, and won't read about it.  Just where I am right now.  I can look forward but looking backward scares me as much as writing the journal and going back and reading something I wrote Christmas, so I won't write again.  I don't want to visit yesterday.  I will visit Billy's younger days.  I won't visit him in 2015, I remember his walking to the mailbox down the road and I wonder if he was hurting.  He obviously was dying.  Was he hurting when we rode the back roads to take pictures, he was dying, he must have hurt.  I did not want him to hurt.  He did not complain.  I can go back in the past that is way, way past, but I cannot visit the dead past.  I cannot explain it and it does not make sense even to me but I have the attitude,...........so what.

[Patty65]

About a month ago, I burned many of my journals, Marg -- I understand.  I went down to our fire pit, where we would sit and gab just the two of us for hours, and I burned and burned so many of them.  I'll never read them.  I didn't want them around.  I didn't want to think or worry about them knowing they were out there.  A little extreme but... hey, I heard I have a "crazy pass" for as long as I want it.

[Gwenivere]

Patty, I started a journal within months of Steves passing and I know I will not want to read it.  So it's gone.  I think as we keep going ahead, revisiting how we got here is not going to be something we want to revisit....ever.  Living it once was enough.  The fire sounds more cathartic than wiping out a computer file.  

[Margm]

Oh my gosh, you are girls after my own heart..  I just did not feel wrong reading feelings I had five months ago and feeling those same feelings.  I know he is gone.  I know how I felt, I know how I feel and I don't want to review them over and over.  I will never have nothing except what is on here, and I don't read anything past a week.  I used to call it numbing down and it felt so much better.  Nothing we will ever forget.  Nothing we can ever get over, but damn, I don't want my butt to have to have skin grafts from sitting still 24/7.  Thinking is dangerous in a mind like mine.  Hugs to you both.