azbrian

I thank you all. I know it is my good news but when anyone else posts something good in here it always made me feel happy for that person and it made me feel better and that there is hope. Kay, I am not sure when I start. After I sign on I will receive an email as to where I take the drug test, I have 48 hours to do that. I hope to have it done in 48 minutes....LOL. Also after I sign is when they start the background check, up to about 48 hours to process he said. He also mentioned something about giving me some video's that I could start on while the 48 hours was going on. I will verify that with him tomorrow. I hope my good luck starts a trend for you Kay and you find a job soon.

I go in tomorrow at 10am to accept the final written proposal from the Center Manager. After that I have to pass background check and drug test. But it looks like I have a job again.

I hope this does not take too long to clear up. Take care................

Congrats Melina !!!!!

Song from Rocky's run..............

Thank you ! First Father's Day, today is very hard.

Kay, I am so sorry, I can't believe that happened to you. And for it to be this weekend is simply terrible. Beyond that I am simply at a loss of words for this to happen to you. Please take care.............

Harry and Nats, Thank you

I have learned that the pain can somewhat fade. I have learned that it hurts that the pain can fade.

Waves and triggers........ Something we have to learn to deal with and when you can conquer one or keep it at bay a new one starts, at least for me. I have been getting emotional driving home after job interviews. So far not before !!!! It happened again today after my job interview. I think it has to have something to do with I was trying so hard to get a job and get us back on track when she was alive that I feel guilty because I failed.

Tammy, I wish there was something I could write to make you feel a little better. I do know exactly what you are talking about when you said you were doing CPR and Jeff's face. I have not had any recent nightmares of Ruth's face when I found her and tried to help her but it still is the thing that upsets me the most. Take care...............

Sorry to hear that about your Mom Kay.

Happy anniversary Nats

Got it Kay, keep my clothes on..........

Thanks everyone. I just spoke with him again. My physical interview is at 10 Saturday morning. I now have 2 days to go nutz...........

I am sorry you feel alone Mary and yes we all know how that is. I have also learned that now that time has passed people are not always understanding of the idea that we have not moved on like they have. We have all moved forward some to the extent that we can or want to at this period of time. On the other hand it is not that they have forgotten her. There were some nice posts on facebook last night about Ruth during the hockey game. Ruth is from Lowell, Mass and has a lot of relatives in the area.

....i see all the beauty in my life and want to remeber Mike in a good light but damn am so tired of the sorrow..... Dave that's right, keep on thinking of Mike that way. It might make you smile or laugh once in awhile.

I know this is off topic but I have kind come used to the support in here and I am a little nervous. I have a phone interview coming up with a company. The positions and location could not have been hand picked any better. There are two positions at the same store and it is two miles from the house, if I do not get one of these, then it was never meant to be. In five minutes everyone yell at the company and tell him to hire me............... LOL

Just one more hug, One of the things I sold was our queen size water bed that we had for about 15 years. Since the rooms are small at my sisters house I did not buy another bed, I'll wait until I move out. I have one my son's twin beds from his bunk bed that is also about 10 to 15 years old and the base mattress has blue hot air balloons on it !! Just another one of those things ya just never would see yourself in at this age.............. LOL

Pinkpony and Harry I am glad you brought this up. At 51 I feel the same way. When we had talked about things like this in the past Ruth I always said to move on with my life. She said don't wait too long to start rebuilding a new life. It's only been about 2 1/2 months for me and I have not set any kind of time table for this or really thought about it but your post made me think about it what Ruth said to me. I have no idea what "don't wait too long" is. I know I am not ready for anyone new except as a friend. My top things to do are I have to find a job and then a place to live. Don't get me wrong my sister is great for letting me stay at her house. But this is another one of those "life pictures" for me at 51 I could never have imagined. I don't know how to explain it except I think it is one of those things for me to getting back to "normal" life. And besides, who would want a 51 year old that just lost his wife, does not have a job and is living with his sister. Okay, that just cracked me up and I laughed for the first time today.

That was a great story Cheryl. How did your open house go?

I am glad you had a good day Dave. Since I had to move right after she died, I don't have any smells left. I did keep one of her pillows which I keep on the left side of the bed where she always slept. As luck would have it one of the few helpful things I found early was putting that pillow there. At night I reach my arm over the pillow like she was there like I did when she was alive. Probably the only reason I can get decent sleep at night.

Kay got to see elk AND deer............ I saw the lizards running around on the walls outside and some doing their pushups..............

It is coming soon and it is depressing me. Because of Ruth I have a Father's Day and this is the first time she will not here for it. I also think I feel worse about it because Mother's Day was not much after she died. I was still pretty numb then and looking back that day probably did not impact me as much as it should have. I really am trying to be positive and find something to look forward to everyday but there is never anything there. I am so tired from being beaten down over the last two years. There is fight left in me but not the same fight like I used to bring to the table for everything I needed to do in the past. I need the person I was back, I just don't know how to find him or were to look. Okay, trying for positive. I am going to check my email to see if anyone wants to interview me for any of the jobs I applied to. I really hope everyone is having a better day today than I am.

You did something special, you thought about him. I am sure that made him smile.