R.Everit55

I woke in a cold sweat after two hours. Now it's 4:30am and everyone is asleep. It's so quiet. I look to My wife's side of the bed. I need her to go through this with me. I don't know if I can do this alone. But then again I've lived almost 18 months without her. So I guess that means I can do this.... Lord I hope so. It just doesn't feel like it.

Thank you George. Peace to you as well. I have my grandsons having camping out in my room to help Grampy feel better. They have my heart. And Miss Gracie is all smiles.

I know I'm not alone. My mom is gone so I feel very alone. We spoke daily. She was a huge influence every day of my life.

People say it's the natural normal order to things to lose a parent. There is nothing normal to this grief and pain. This is the worst time of my life. I and 57 and I want my mom back. That is what is natural and normal. My normal. I miss my wife. I really need her to go through this with me.

Thank you Marita. ❤️

Hugs ❤️

I'm so tired. Lack of sleep. My heart is aching for my Dad. My son is worried for me too. I'm drinking and eating a little. I just can't fathom that my darling mom is gone. My heart is numb even though I know it's reality. I want to cry. But I can't. I feel like I'm going to burst into tears any second. But I don't. Trying to get things set for Tuesday. Allen is doing his best to take the load off me. He worried for my health. My heart. The boys keep running to me and giving me hugs. Bless them. And Gracie girl keeps melting me with her huge smiles. I got her giggling a little bit ago. I mean how can one resist that. Thsnk you all for your kind supportive words. Much love, Butch.

Daily Gracie fix

Thank you. Mary would make this better for me if she were here. But I glad they have each other. They had a special bond. I may not speak at the service Tuesday. I feel like I will fall apart. My son is going to speak.

I already know the grieving process yes but I don't know how to lose my mom. A memorial is tentatively set for Tuesday.

I get it. Yesterday my mom died. And tonight I'm so very lost and confused. It feels like I just my wife. It's been 17 months but somehow because my mom has passed on reality is hitting me.

I'm so lost right now. I posted what sounds like nonsense in my passing of mom thread. But I feel like I just lost My Mary too. Again. The world is going on while we all grieve. How why.

Grief is not a sign of weakness -- it's the price of love. ❤️

Just thinking the world is going on now for 24 hours since my mom passed. My mind and heart are blown at how the world could still be turning and going on and seeing the leaves in the trees blowing in the sun that will soon set when my mom is gone and my wife is gone. How could it be...

You're not speaking out of turn. You make sense when nothing right now makes much sense to me. Thank you so much.

I don't know how to switch from grief for my wife to start grieving for my mother. She was so important to me like Mary but it's a very different loss. Its foreign to me And I still have my dad. Its foreign to him to lose the love of his life since age 17. He's 77 he's knows nothing other than his darling wife of 60 years. Mary and I had 34 years . 60 is so long together. She was the greatest mom. She loved her grandson and great grandsons and new great granddaughter. She did for me things I never even asked of her. She was involved immensely. Im rambling. Because I don't know how to be what to feel. This is foreign. Grief isn't foreign. But losing a mom is. I hope I have my dad for many more years. But the bond between my mom and he was tight. They did everything together.

Marty, I apologize for posting this thread in loss of spouse. If you need to move it I understand.

Thank you all i am pretty numb right now. I feel like I need to hold things together for my dad son and grandsons. But it's huge losing the one other beautiful most amazing woman in my life. Mary and my mom are together though now. I really miss my wife. She would take care of it all. She'd be strong for everyone. But it's my job now.

Thank you ❤️

I have one friend who was close to Mary and she checks in on me frequently. She lost her husband several years ago so she gets it.

Brad, yes and it's a sad thing when "friends" treat us that way.

Thank you all. She'd not felt right since getting home from a week in FL. But I told Dad she's probably tired. But it was her heart that was tired I guess. She lived a great life. I'm thankful for that. She was a great mom for sure.

In the almost 18 months since losing my Mary I lost some pretty good friends because they have no clue what I'm going through. It's like they don't have any interest in knowing. I almost have felt like a have a disease or something. It is what it is I guess. I have one or two friends left. And that's ok with me. I don't want anyone who wants to pretend I didn't lose my wife.

Gracie and her great Grammy ❤️

I got a call from my Dad that my dear mom laid down yesterday evening for a nap and she never woke. She's gone. The first thing I did was look for my Mary for love. . I thank God Gracie got to meet her Great Grammy. My mom was 77. She lived a long life. She and Mary were best friends. I am not sure how to feel right now. Just numb. My Dad is a wreck. He's staying with me. So we can make arrangements. Butch