rdownes

Hello to anyone who remembers me music is my coping skill found a song by Linkin Park called " Leave out all the Rest" my husband passed away from a drug overdose and the song makes me think of how he would want me to remember him please listen

Hello to everyone I have been gone awhile, learning how to live this new life without my Kevin, attempting to find some sense of happiness again to learning how to live again and trying to learn to love again, I remember when I first found this site I was lost and broken everyone made me feel so welcome and understood and helped me learn to find my way in this horrible journey of grief for that I will forever be grateful, I this past year have decided to try and find love again though hard because I compare everyone to what I had with Kevin and I will never have that again but I hope for a different kind of love, so tomorrow is Christmas and once again get bombarded with empty sad emotions of another Christmas without him, it sucks and it hurts, to everyone out there my heart goes out to you for your loss and I hope we all find our way hugs to everyone

Found a song wanted to share I love and miss you Kevin forever by Marie Olsen called Now. You Belong to Heaven

I remember 5 months like it was yesterday today marks one year for me and unfortunately I can not say things will get better because everyone's grief is unique and their own personal journey I can say I know your pain your feeling of emptiness, your feeling of oh god another day without them this new world new life we didn't ask for sucks and is beyond hard it truly does feel like at least for me it gets worse before it starts to get better. I still have my hard days but my good days definitely out way the bad now I have learned to live through Kevin to keep him in my heart in all I do he to this day will always be a part of my soul do in that sense I will always have him. I truly hope everyone is able to find their peace and live on with their loved ones love right by their side I know easier said than done when your heart in broken in pieces hugs

Well today marks the day that changed my life forever, a year ago today for what ever reason you were taken from this earth, taken out of my life physically, I still remember the day like it was yesterday the paramedics telling me I am sorry mam he is gone I have dreaded those words ever since, it has been a long year one I don't even know how I survived sometimes, some days I didn't want to survive, but I kept going I kept you love in my heart and soul where it will forever stay helping me face each new day no natter how difficult it has been a long road to this point full of millions of tears and sleepless nights but through it all I would do it all again I was blessed to of had you in my life for 26 amazing years some people will never know a love like ours and I feel bad for them because even though I lost you physically you spirit lives on inside me forever, your memory will live on forever, you will live through me and your children, so know that you are loved beyond words, missed beyond measure and you will forever have my heart until we meet again, you are my forever love Kevin!!

ABC my heart goes out to you I have not been around in months I have been slowly finding my way using what I learned from this amazing site and people you are not invisible people outside of our circle just don't understand and never will unless unfortunately they experience it , I am slowly learning and accepting that yes I am a widow but I am also so much more I am a mother a friend , I am someone who has been touched by death and now appreciates life and the little things, you are not invisible or alone you will find your way and you have a family here who cares deeply hugs to you

Thank you all I still consider you all family if not for you I would have lost my way. I would not say I am at total peace I don't know maybe one day I just know I can make it through everyday now I don't feel completely hopeless anymore I am not completely happy and again maybe one day or not but I can smile at things again and not feel bad about it, I am deciding that Kevin's death will help me through life not hold me back anymore if that makes sense. I owe you all alot and will always be forever grateful

Hi everyone I have not been on here for months I have not forgotten be this site and all the wonderful people who helped me in my darkest days, I have been trying to find my way . Kevin will be gone a year in May never thought I could say that without crying but I can now somehow I have realized my life will go on with or without Kevin whether I want it to or not, I have accepted him being gone now, I noticed the saddness is gone for the most part I have not really lost it in months I do still feel lonely sometimes but it doesn't consume me anymore I guess I have just learned to live life again hope everyone is OK and my heart is always with you guys

I am trying so hard to remember Kevin's love to remember how I felt/feel about him I don't want to disappoint him or dishor him or his memory in anyway but these stupid being alive urges won't go away I feel so lost.

I haven't been on in a few days and I am not proud of why I need some help words of wisdom a reminder of who I am or was I am posting some thing that I am not proud of remember my post about lonely well few days ago I posted on Craigslist looking for something very specific (not a relationship) that damn urge took over again I didn't share any personal info but did set something up but then tonight Nickel back song never gonna be alone come on and I started crying lost it, it was like Kevin saying stay strong I feel like I am losing it.

Such an amazing story thank you for sharing it I have always felt that way .

Darrel you have lost nothing here, we all understand what you are going through and in no way is anyone judged here we are all doing the best we can in this new life none of us asked for, we are all learning threw this process we all have different thoughts and feelings and that is OK grief is a long hard road with many ups and downs but the one thing I know is we all understand each other's pain and we all are here for each other, I love reading your posts because they almost always have that glimmer of hope hugs

Today I have been thinking alot missing Kevin but so remembering the love he gave all of us all the excitement he brought to the house. Things have been very hard for us financially since he passed away I have been posting looking for financial help and I have learned to make it clear I am not looking for a relationship only help one man come to my work and gave me money before Christmas I was so touched that I got teary eyed and gave him an innocent hug he emails me still he knows I am not looking for anything he said he just wants to be friends I think he feels a different way his aunt just passed and we have been talking about that since I understand loss, another man messaged me about helping again I made it clear I am not looking for a relationship he said OK he is already in a relationship but not happy so I told him loving someone is a choice you can choose to walk away or choose to stick through the hard times his response was you seem nice wish you lived closer, then I was at the laundry mat with my mother in law there was a man who was pretty close to us and we were talking about Kevin when it was time to leave he was asking her about me, I never realized how truly lonely some people can be until now, yes I am lonely but I had/have that amazing love, I had/have my soulmate, I was/am blessed beyond words because I am truly realizing more and more how much of a gift that was/is, I was so lucky to of had the privilege to experience this love I learn something new all the time, just a reminder of what I have to be thankful for hugs

Hello I was raised with a religious upbringing but fell away for along time still haven't totally gotten my faith completely back but I believe with all my heart that there is something after death and they never truly leave us, how could love ever die.

Marie, hugs to you today I now how hard these days are any movement forward no matter how big or small is not easy for us hope you have some peace and comfort today.