Gin
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Status Updates posted by Gin
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Hi Jen,
No motivation here at all. I used to go to the health club several times a week. No more and I am getting weaker. How much weaker can an 80 yr. old feel? Used to do things with several church groups. No more. Lunch once a week with my friend. Don’t see her anymore. Do not even see neighbors. The grief is horrible and now we add all this. I wanted to work in my messy closet, but I have not done it. It is too hot to walk outside, so I just walk back and forth in the house. Hope those riots do not start up again on the weekend. Hope you get out a little today, Jen.Gin-
I didn’t know there was this kind of messaging here. Took me by surprise. Sounds like such long horrid days for you. I am familiar with them tho I’ve managed some escapes. Getting less helpful because they are so hard. All my stuff has dried up too. I know we aren’t the only people in this predicament, but it’s hard to keep hat in mind and does it really help knowing we aren't the only ones? I mean, what does hat change for us living it? I guess knowing we aren’t some kind of freak. That’s the best I can come up with. Sorry you are having heat. That would be the topper here. I know its coming someday and will have to tackle that. I don’t even care about the riots anymore. Burned out on all the chaos.
Jen
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Hi Kay,. Just wanted to get your opinion. I was married for 31 years to the father of my children. Got divorced. Went to a church sponsored divorce group. Ended up marrying husband #2. About a year later, he killed himself. Lots of blame from his family. He was a clergyman who had a lot of problems. 6 years later I met Al on the Internet. What a blessing! He was widowed. We had 16 great years together. He always said that he never had it so good. I know I never did. Now my big issue...will we be together in heaven? What if his first wife wants him as badly as I do. I know there is no marriage in heaven, but it is hard to imagine not being with him. I know you do not have the answer, but just wanted your opinion. Thanks,. Gin
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Hi Anne,
i received art work from the auction today. I received your painting of flowers in a vase. I am proud to hang it in my home and I thank you. It is beautifully framed. You are very talented. It will also remind me of all the wonderful people on this forum.
Gin
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Oh, dear Gin, I am happy you have one of my colorings. I took this up a few years after my Jim died. Marty introduced this type of coloring to me and it has helped in my grief journey. When I color just as when a real artist paints it causes me to focus just on that. Thank you for helping to keep our forum open. I believe we do have some very special people who come here. It really is one day at a time ~ sometimes it's one hour at a time.
Anne
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Laura,
i just got some art work from the auction. I received an oil that you painted of Arizona cactus and a water color of some beautiful orange flowers. Thanks so much and I am proud to display them. It also reminds me of all the wonderful people on the forum.
Gin
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I am so happy that you have some of my work and that you love it! Do you have the prickly pear? And I think you have the one of the roses that are yellow in the middle and orange at the outside? I was so enchanted with that rosebush, but it was such a challenge to paint because yellow is a light color and the yellow part is in the middle, where it is generally in the shadows and darker. There is something magical about those roses that I was trying to portray-like they are glowing from their centers. I hope you feel that from them. Anyway, I am very pleased that you are happy with them.
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George,
Just wanted your opinion... Al and I were both married before. Mine ended up badly and divorced after 31 years. Al was a widower when we met. He was absolutely the best person ever in my life. He always said the same about me. We were inseparable and adored one another. I worry that I will not be with him in Heaven. Maybe his first wife wants to be with him as much as I do. As a Christian, I value your thoughts. I know my focus should be on just being with Jesus, but I miss him so much.
Gin
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My understanding is that the marital relationship on earth is a reflection of our relationship to Jesus and God. My wife and I will recognize each other but we will not be married to each other as we were on earth. It is more like a genuine brother/sister in Christ. We will be joyous to see each other and other Christians. Our love and attention to God will surpass the love, joy and intimacy we experience on Earth.
My understanding is that the intimacy we experience with our spouse is a pale in comparison to the intimacy and Joy we will have in Heaven.
I pray Jesus will reveal this truth to you. There are some great applications and bible readings that can help you with this understanding if you are interested.
Thank you for asking your questions. I pray this answer can help you understand God's love for each of His children. Shalom
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These anniversaries are so hard! My husband died 3 months ago this week. I find that life seems pointless. Somehow we must carry on!
Gin
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Thanks for your encouragement. I did talk to two docs. One told me that I took such good care of him that I probably gave him extra time. It still didn't help. I always think I could have done more. I think his decline was gradual and I did not notice it day to day. Family told me that they never thought he would not last for the last year or two.
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I think if you read through the threads here you'll find you are not alone in your feelings. Feeling guilt, whether deserved or not, seems to be a common grief response. It's important you also acknowledge everything you did do for him and keep it in perspective. Marty has some great links on guilt on this site.
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Hi hollow heart,
This is so very hard. On top of losing our loved one, we have guilt on top of it. I guess we think we have more power than we really do. Thanks for sharing. My loss was 7 weeks ago.
gin
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Hi, mine was a month ago. I know we didn't do enough to save my sister. SO MUCH guilt there. I know people are telling me it's not my fault but we didn't give her a chance. I know I should be encouraging but I do believe I caused her death because I let her lay there instead of calling 911 so it's the same as actually killing her. I know she would be alive today. She didn't even get a chance in the hospital. We found her dead then we called 911. What idiots! As long as she was still breathing she had a chance and we took that from her. I let her down and let her die. It is my fault.
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hi Gwen,
thanks for your encouraging words. I am glad this forum exists for us folks. This is a hard, hard road for us all. Sometimes I feel as though I do nothing all day. I miss him so much.
gin
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Hi Gin,
i just found this as I don't think to check messages. I'm pleased whatever I said helped. So many have helped me. I can't imagine going thru this without the people I have found here.
I know that feeling of not doing anything all day and hate it. Sometimes I remind myself that just getting out of bed us an accomplishment. If is a time to be as encouraging of ourselves as I have come to see the outside world hasn't got a clue of what this is like.
I keep missing my guy more every day, unlike the perception I will 'get used to it'. Nothing is farther than the truth. Each day is just a longer time without that love and connection that we forged and made us complete.
My very best to you.
Gwen
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