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TomPB

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About TomPB

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Male
  • Location (city, state)
    Boston, MA

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    husband
  • Date of Death
    3/31/2017
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    NA

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  1. I just had my 2nd birthday in this new life. No card with Susan's cute 🐼 sketches and expressions of love, no little present, no fruit tart with a candle...but yes, as you say, not as torn up and crying as I was for #1
  2. My grief counselor lost her husband and her daughter within 2 months. She had been doing grief counseling before her own losses and says very strongly that she didn't have a clue before. But we know that...
  3. I agree, kayc. She is 2 yrs into a divorce after 30 yrs & said she spent the whole first yr sleeping and doing chores - a kind of grief which leaves her uncertain also. However I must apologize to the group, I don't intend to attempt to make this a dating advice site LOL
  4. Before 3/31/17 I was a skeptic, now I'll try/believe anything. A few months after Susan died I had taken some friends sailing for my first trip without my perfect sailing partner. As we were motoring to pick up the mooring a beautiful falcon landed on the spreaders and stayed. I never had that happen before, not even with a seagull. I believe it was Susan. Had a similar visit with a butterfly landing on one of Susan's sisters wrist with no desire to leave. Next my sister Julie had a session with Cindi the psychic. Julie swears she had never mentioned Susan but the session started with "Your sister in law is here" and a message to me. I was very low at the time and the msg said that I can not leave the planet before my time is up, and Susan will be waiting for me. Wow. Then I had my own session with Cindi. That morning I had gone to the airport with the new romantic interest who just had appeared in my life, and the primary message from Susan was that she didn't want me to be alone and would send me a new soulmate. Whatever you believe, that's a mind blowing concidence. I have not had a loving dream of Susan. I had one where I had an affectionate encounter with a turtle, her totem, but nothing with Susan in human form. I even meditate on her before bed every night, which you might think would promote a dream. Sad about that.
  5. I envy those who know what they want. I'm lost, I have no idea. People tell me "You can do anything you want" and I say "That's not helpful, I don't know what I want". I don't know if Susan was my one and only or if I'll have a new partner. So when something clicks I just follow my emotions. When I talk about getting together she says "I'm too much up in the air right now" or "Let's keep our minds open and see what comes up". Meanwhile she texts me and calls me and we have 1-2 hr calls, so the relationship is by no means over. My confusion is over how that fits with not wanting to get together! I'm just a simple 🐼, this stuff is beyond me.
  6. Hi All, sorry to have been absent. I've been traveling through a detour on this journey. As I reported, a friend of a grief friend visited in early Aug and we had an instant connection. The day I took her to the airport in the morning I had a long-scheduled session with a psychic in the afternoon. The message from Susan said that she would send me a new soulmate. I was stunned by the coincidence and thought maybe it had actually happened. Now time has passed. We've stayed in touch with texts and voice, with 1-2 hr calls and never a problem what to say next. However I feel the intensity fading with time and distance. She is in ABQ. Whenever I raise the possibility of a visit she says no. I don't understand in view of the magical time we had in Boston and I think this dream is about to end, leaving me even more lonely than before, somethiing I feared from the beginning. Of couse I've been grieving Susan the whole time too. Having my mind cycle between grief and romance is a whole new level of craziness. What makes it OK is that I accept that Susan wants me to have someone else in my life. Her message really spelled that out and she continues to say it when I talk to her every night. At least this shows me that life is possible on the other side. The 4 days we had together were the only truly happy days I've had since I lost Susan. And there's a chance it's not over, but I don't feel very good right now.
  7. I have that thought too. However, sorry to go all freaky on the group, but Cindi the Psychic said that Susan and I were instantly totally comfortable with each other because we had been together in previous lives. So maybe another I already know? Cindi also said Susan would send me another soulmate ...I know, I know. I didn't talk/think like this before 3/31/17
  8. Kieron, we're close in dates, my soulmate Susan went to the other side 3/31/17. We couldn't be further away in what happened, Susan died over the course of 10-15 min with no warning that she had a life-threatening condition. My grief counselor says that in the end all that's left is the love. Well I'm not there yet and I mainly feel the pain of her loss. Best wishes for your journey through grief world, TomPB
  9. Darrel I'm with you, about 1 year behind. Susan's was 7/18, my second without her. I wrote her a card, like we always did, and propped it up against her urn. I hope you can enjoy the memories more than feeling the pain of the loss. That's my struggle TomPB
  10. Thanks Marty. Fr Concetti has a refreshing attitude.
  11. Wd not be surprised if the priests from my youth wd tell me I’ll burn in hell for talking to a psychic. Anyway she said I had an instant total connection w Susan b/c we have been together in many previous lives. Feels a bit like that now.
  12. Absolutely, but there have been too many "coincidences" in my life lately for me to believe it's random. I am such a skeptical earth bound scientist 🐼 that me being the one thinking a spirit spoke to me is a role reversal beyond belief, LOL.
  13. Marg, I’m totally open minded re any “faith”. What I’ve told are FACTS namely, 1. new woman walks into my life w instant connection, and 2. on the day we say good bye psychic says Susan says she will send me a new soulmate who I will recognize immediately. I’d like to hear all comments on that, regardless of perspective. It stuns me. No place away from the ocean can be my favorite, but ABQ is in my future. I think the AC you mention is what my friend calls her “swamp cooler”
  14. Thanks for the replies, but nobody commented on the "coincidence" of us saying goodbye in the morning and me getting the message that Susan would send me someone on the same afternoon!!! I'm still amazed by that. This skeptical 🐼 is wondering if the psychic hacked my phone & learned about us. What do you think? Can spirits actually do these things? Gin, we sort of have to take it slow, with the separation. I suppose it could be a good thing. kayc, she's done with her longtime job but is looking for a new career. I'm working but have an extremely flexible schedule. So we can visit & she might even end up in MA, but for now making a plan seems challenging. Must trust that it will work out. Enough amazing things have happened already! Thanks again my friends, TomPB
  15. I've always said I don't know if I'll have another partner. For the last 2 weeks a friend of my grief/swim friend who I've mentioned here before was visiting. Long story short, we made an instant connection, spent a lot of time together, and, tho we carefully avoid the "L" word, fell in love. I've had my only truly happy days since Susan died. That's crazy enough, but there's a lot more. Last Th morning I went with her to the airport and said goodbye. On Th afternoon, I had a session with Cindi the psychic, which I'd scheduled long before I met her. Here is part of what Cindi "read" from Susan. Not making this up: Susan loves me like crazy. Her primary message is that I will have another soulmate. Susan will send me another soulmate. Doesn’t want me to be alone. I need to do more work and can’t do it alone. Spirit Susan is always with me but I need flesh and blood and a link to the earth. Susan is very enthusiastic about that and does not have jealousy. Thoughts of another soulmate come from Susan. No casual dating for PB. The person Susan sends and I will recognize each other immediately. Spirit Susan still will visit me but only when I’m alone, she wiil respect boundaries. So Th morning I wake up with my new love for the first time and Th afternoon Susan says thru Cindi that she will send me a new soulmate and we'll recognize each other immediately? What is that? Crazy? Amazing? Ridiculous? Being a scientist I'm more skeptical than most, but this is too much to deny. I think Spirit Susan really spoke to me, and I think there's a good chance my new soulmate is here. Unfortunately "here" for me is Boston and she lives in Albuquerque! We're talking about how to handle the long distance relationship but it seems challenging. I know I'm in some danger because if this heads south combining grief with relationship angst wd be a nightmare. This feels like a dream, and she says it too. I feel like unseen forces are guiding my life. I'd like to hear what you think. Feel free to say "Tom🐼 you have freaking lost it!"
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