Stallyn

Thanks for the assurance & input, I been finding myself doing alot of crazy things, for example last month I went manic and almost bought a car without realizing the end result,and at the same token, I tried singles sites, whew such bad choices, what do you guys do to fill the "void"? bless you all William

Everyone, this is a interesting topic, as I have expressed the same feelings too, suddenly I don't feel so alone, I done similar things, tried suicide, prayed to God to take me up, and begged my wife in heaven to plead my case, All in all in the end loneliness without your spouse is the ultimate hell, I guess as a christian I shouldn't say that, but it feels like it, My faith is shattered too. William

Lori & Steven, just reading your posts opens my eyes further, I know our experiences may be different, I don't feel new to the pain anymore though, I kinda gotten numb I suppose, always feeling that part of me that died with my wife, Steven I havent had ANY dreams with my wife, I don't know why that is. I been making alot of rash decisions lately compensating for my loss, anyone experience that? God bless you all! William

Karen, that is funny, I guess he liked the closet better right? He sailed away wow that brings a new chapter in your life, perhaps you might get a call from china next week if you left a note in it Thank you that was amusing, I will make the effort to get some sleep, I don't look good with the bags under my eyes Hugs, William

I am so grateful for the understanding here, and my newfound friends, thanks for being there, I will try to talk to her again and move my anger aside so she will hear me, I decided to keep my distance with my father for my sake, My wife probably would tell me that too, God bless, William

I haven't had the energy or state of mind to go out and meet people either, I was so comfortable with my wife around and I didn't care, now being alone with no kids or family my sanity is questionable. I tried dating sites too, most of them have been scammers, So what is our choices? People seem to stay away from people like ourselves, I feel for you, keep forging ahead with a dating site, you bound to find someone in due time, Blessings, William

Karen, thanks for assuring me my mind has not gone on hiatus, I too have a hard time seeing her in my mind too, too painful to do so, but I get subtle memories of her in various places, sometimes I hope to "snap" out of this and see her come home to me, I would feel better if i went to her grave in guatemala, but I can't afford it and physically unable to travel. I ask myself if I will ever have a new life, Its been a big nightmare, thanks for listening. God bless you!

KarenB, I find it hard to go on sometimes, I don't know if I will live or die the next day of a broken heart, This is the worst thing thats ever happened to be, she was my everything, my reason to live, I cant enjoy life like I used to, I don't desire to do anything anymore and my father, well he says stupid things, telling me when I broke down, that he didnt like me having pity on myself, theres people dying in iraq, Like did my wife choose to have cancer and die? It is infuriating the people you think you trust just push the pain to the next level. I tried to commit suicide the day after she died, and I told a friend and well, 2 Am 3 cops haul me down to a mental clinic since I am bipolar II, she always had a way to smoothing me out, not anymore, I am sorry about your loss, that is a horrible experience to go though w/o closure.

Hello all, My wife passed in march 2nd of this year, its been hell since then, anyways, I woke up this morning thinking my wife was sleeping next to me, I never experienced this until this morning, for 2 months I didn't have anything happen out of the ordinary except a few days I woke my self up conversing to my wife, joking and saying loving words to her, it really bothers me, has anyone had this experience?

Crikz, I think I can relate, I am so bitter and angry at the loss of my best friend and wife in march 2nd, she was 37, I cry every night, I ask God why me, I hate my life mostly and feel so alone, since I don't have much support from anyone, I am 40 and wanted to grow old with her, thats all I wanted and it didn't happen, I too feel bitter and angry at everything, I almost killed my self a day after she passed, thats how my life seems, nothingness, I wake up knowing I will be alone again, Damn it hurts so much. I don't know what to do anymore. I wonder if I am going to make it another week.