Stallyn

Teny, I am sorry also, I pass my 6 month mark on Sept 2nd, so I know how hard it can be for us to cope, well I think we achieve the impossible by "surviving" each day and thats worth for us to think about William

Hi my dear friends, well tomorrow is 6 months without my soulmate, Its been a dark, depressing, lonely, exhausting time for me, I don't feel like I have accomplished much, I still cry every night, please pray for me that the enemy will not attack me in the following days. It seems a year to me as far. Truly, William

Kayc, from all the time I known you, you have been incredibly strong because of it, its such a terrible thing to witness, do you still think about it? William

Derek, KayC, I think you set me straight, no I am not ready for a relationship for sure, I will wait however long it takes I suppose, if my fate differs from my what is desired I am open to it. Definitely lonely for sure... Your friend, William

Erica, I am at that point also, almost six months for me and I can't seem to sleep correctly, or concentrate, I look at it normalcy for awhile. God bless, William

Hi all, just my two cents, I don't see myself settling down again after my loss, she was my life and now its gone, I cannot fathom falling in love again, the time passed has showed me that my marriage fulfilled the strong desire, now I don't feel that need anymore, I hope for some input in this, perhaps it will change?? William

You are indeed so right, I been planting seeds in life of hopes that good will come eventually, I am stubborn and self reliant, not something to change anytime soon, keeps me isolated. The life now is different but "normal" it seems.

Thats a mistake I took months ago ridding myself and making rash decisions, about things and issues, you both are right, I have to let this evolve into something yet known to me, only if I can experience real joy for more than a moment. Yes I have been thinking about the past, and trying to relive it to some extent but I feel 8 years of love was thrown out the window for good. Now is an enigma to yet piece the puzzle again alone...I believe and know I have to go through this, how I don't know for sure.. William

Doublejo, Kayc, you have a point that reminds me that I am least progressing, I been fighting depression and grief simultaneously, sure does not seem I got very far, but you know better, I am trying to lay down my pride and release what ever comes at me, I don't feel ready to go to a new level yet, whence I don't know what the sign is when it is so. So many things pass my mind what to do next, meet people, do things. I have to ask, when do you feel the time is right to make drastic changes? Bless you my friends, William

Doublejo, I didn't think I was meant for 8 years only, that what tears me up, we met online, thousands miles away, and she was everything I wanted, it wasn't perfect but it was a healthy marriage, and now as when she passed, I just can't seem to get a grip on myself, I want to give up everything to be with her again, though it isn't possible, I tried to cheat fate many times in my life coping with chronic depression, but this seems a different beast I can't control or tame. Yes I do want the pain to go away, I never anticipated that it's something so traumatic and enduring 5 months later, you have lifted me up and I am grateful that it makes it somewhat easier today. William

Thanks for the encouragement, I yet cant deal with people in a large scale yet, I find little of anything that really keeps me level though having a friend that went through the same thing helps me alot, hes much older than myself but the same thing all around. I ache more than I can smile, losing a love is more terrible than I ever thought possible. please keep me in your prayers, I delved deep into a depression and suicide and one day I "think" I may do it without Gods intervention. I think what I am doing with my interaction is right, thats good to think that it is OK.. Truly, William

Well I want to "vent" I it seems almost every time I come across someone I know they expect me to be cheerful, social-able, active in social events and whatnot, what bewilders me that they refuse to respect my life and dictate how I need to "live". I am so tired of it, do I need to completely break ties with these people??? I have few friends as it stands but its dragging me down My love for my wife was everything to me, nearly six months later I feel little progress has been made, of course I have been in solitude and isolation, but I think that is what I need to cope, I don't desire to go to church or anywheres where my vulnerability will be exposed.

Walt, I get it alot also, GET OVER IT!!, you pose a interesting food for thought, thanks for the insight, now perhaps the public can grasp it for awhile.

Gail, I understand also, I felt guilty, shame, anger often regularly, I still ask God why. I was married 8 wonderful years, and thought of growing old together was my deepest desire, well its been almost 6 months in 1.5 weeks and reeling from the shock still, I have found many encouraging posts from some of you here and God sure does not give us more than we can endure. Blessings, William

Erica, Doublejo touched a point there, as many times I don't allow my self to be happy since sadness consumes me most of my waking hours, its a huge undertaking daily to live for ourselves now, I often tell myself to do what my wife would want me to be happy and it works often. stay strong... William

Teny, I feel for you, you accomplished alot in the four days, I know how painful it is, love is such a powerful thing that endures always, though our hearts ache and our bodies weaken, We have something powerful that we shared with our spouses. I pray that he will comfort you.

Walter/Erica, It is a interesting question, though I personally believe they can visit for a short time to comfort you, I have had several incidences where my late wife side of the bed was pressed down right next to me. Yes he IS with you many times, I know God is merciful to allow it...Its perfectly normal Blessings to you, William

We are here for you, I get that more than I care to say, "get out" do something" etc etc, unfortunately they do not understand the scope of the loss, always makes things more complicated it seems, and thank you for posting, theres many blessings in this haven... Truly, William

Jan, I sympathize with you, I lost my wife march 2nd, and I still feel disillusioned and solitary, i wouldn't expect you to "get over" it but with time you will cope with it in your own special way, what we do with it is right for us.. Blessings, William

Thanks Karen, I guess it is funny huh? I got a Willie in there and a frankenfish, and some baby fish to nurture their life, its alot of work though but I think its better than some things guy my age do Have a good one!! William

Karen, What a great opportunity to learn ASL, I used it when I was younger since I am hearing impaired and had friends that are deaf, Well I got a 20 Gallon Tank a week ago with some freshwater fish in it, helps but doesn't fully fill the void does it William

Karen, I haven't been around lately, I been keeping myself busy to exhaustion, anything to forget my problems and loneliness, you have a big heart to share, thanks for always supporting me and others that need it. I am STILL in a kind of daze, like a part of me went to hibernation. How are you doing lately? Blessings, William

Kayc, Its a honor to know you and comfort each other here, lately I been in a funk of some kind, well I blame the weather here, I miss the companionship of a woman, seems like forever since my dear passed away, Its a gift from God to men, when its taken away, the essence of being is chaotic. Bless you all William

Karen, I am so sorry you are down, I remember you told me some time ago its OK to worry for yourself, its hard to fit in with others with our experience. I hope you feel better, I have faith in you being a strong woman..I will say a prayer for you; Your friend, William

Teny, I was raised to believe the same unfortunately, I prayed fervently over my late wife, anointed her with oil, brought several ministers, to no avail. At the time I became angry at God, well I still am but I realized he gave her comfort in her last days as a respite from the sickness. My experience gave me this, years ago I prayed for a wife and it was answered, some things didn't get answered but our course of life gives us the wisdom to understand..what doesn't make you weaker always strengthens you always. I wish a miracle for you... William