jackietnd1

Hi KS, I am so sorry for your loss, your have come to the right plase, peolty care and listening to you. And you are somebody, just ask ans see what happends. your daghter is a prat of him. If you want to get her stone, first talk with his wife the pastor and your daughter. See what happens your were also a part of his life Love your all Jackie

MartyT, That brought tears to my eyes, I am going to print it and make a poster, Thanks so much. It is 3 months for me today. Love You All Jackie

Again Thank you all, Kim I have read your post and see how much we have in common, I am praying for you and your family as well...Thanks so much, I plan to soon get a tatoo for my Baby want it to read. In Loving Memory of Lawrence with an heart on it, I am a little afraid I have never gotten one however I will do it for my Baby... Love you All Jackie

Thank You all for your replies, I Love you all. I am just doing the next right thing today, really thinking about Lawrence alot. On my way back to the hospital for Mommie this is the last day of our orientation into this new hospital.. Please keep praying for me, I feel sad today. Love you All Jackie

Hi Kay, I am sorry no one called you yesterday. I can't image 3 years, Keep the Faith. You are such a great lady and good friend to me. Remember to do something nice for yourself today(please). Love You All Jackie

Hi J.Anne, I am sorry you are having a difficult time, it will be 3 months for me on tomorrow, I am not sure when this pain ends or if it ever will, however I do feel like for me I have good days and bad, it is just that simple for me. You touched my heart this morning and I want you to know you are not alone, we are here for you and with you. I have the same feelings, and someone told me that my feelings are not facts. Please be good to yourself and hang in there. Love You All Jackie

Hi Everyone, My mother has moved from Flordia to Philadelphia to be with her daughters, she also has cancer, her and my Lawrence were fighting together. In 2004 my mother got lung cancer and in 2005 6 months later my Lawrence got it, they both had surgury and all was well. Then in December of 2006 my mother was diagnosised with cancer in her panceric(know the spelling is incorrect), and 6 months later in July of 2007 my Lawrence got the spinal cancer, he has went home as you all know, however Mommie is still here and fighting, for the last 2 days I and one sister have been going to the new place where she is transferring here treatments to Cancer Centers of American, I am so happy with the expeience of this they really care about their patients. I thought I would have a difficult time being so soon after my Baby passed, however now it is just time for me to be there for my Mommie I only have one. My feelings are mixed all up, one mintue I am good and the next the fear takes over, she also is stage 4. Please continue to keep me and my family in your prayers as I know you all do. I know God knows all things however I just can't loss my mother so soon after my Baby went home, the tears are flowing now. Please Pray for me............... Love You All Jackie

Singledad2, Which I am changing to Superdad.....Congrats, Your children and blessed to have you in their lives. Way to Go Love You All Jackie

Hi Kim, I to am so so sorry for your loss, happy to hear you have your children and church to help you go through this journey. I loss my husband due to cancer, which was a long 2 1/2 year fight, he went on hospice and passed after 3 months with them, he was 56 so I am young widow at 46, we did not have children together however I have a 27 year old daughter and 5 year old granddaughter and they help me get through, some days are harder than others however it is getting better for me. It will be 3 months next week so I still take life one mintue at a time. I am happy you found this site it has been and continues to be a great support for me, I have found so many people who care and understand what I am going through as they are to. Please continue to come and post. I pray you find the great support here I have, I am sure you will. Love you all Jackie

Hi Wendy, I really don't have an answer, however I have talked to people, and one friend still has all her husband things just as he left them and it has been 9 yesar, I have moved some thing however alot of his stuff is where he left them not yet 3 months for me, however I do want to move them and move on or at least use the room. I beleive whenever we are ready we will do it so don't be hard on yourself and think there is a time limit for you to do it, it's not in your way so what is it hurting. Just my take on it only you know the correct answer. Give yourself a break and do it when YOU are ready.

Hi Whiteswan, Thanks so much for sharing this....this is the thought I want to always remember about all my love ones who have when home before me.... Again Thanks...you should post more

I Thank you all for your care and concern, it does and has helped. Sunday went very well. I am up early today, have to get so papers together and clean this house one step at a time, however I have got to move. I have no medical insurance so I don't know how I am going to get the depression meds, however one mintue at at time is what you all keep telling me and today I beleive. I pray you all have a wonderful day. Kay please be good to yourself, you deserve it as we all do.

Lyn My husdand's birthday was Sunday, I thought it would be hard. howver it was such a great day. I let his ashes go, me and my granddaughter and honored what he wanted, it has not been 3 months yet and i feel good about what I did and how I honored him. I know everyone is not the same. I have my times like today, I cried all day missing him. I know he is in my heart and will always be watching over me. Some days are just feeling days. As you told me to do what I have to do and take care of myself which I have been trying to do. I ask you to do the same. My heart goes out to you and I will keep you in my prayers. Feel what you must then move on if you can Love you all jackie

Hi John, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your son, I do feel your pain, I lost my husband. I know it is different however the pain is almost the same. Vent here we are listening and caring for you.

Hi Kay, I am sorry about your neice, how is she doing now? How is John? and How are you? I realy love your post, wish you were close to me so we could do lunch. Love you All Jackie

Hi Everyone, I wanted to share with you all where I am. I just got out of the hospital, from taking pills to numb the emotional pain, I don't have to say this does not or did not work for me. I was diagnosed with major depression and had a passive attempt of suicide. I did not want to kill myself, just wanted not to feel all the pain. I kept saying I know I have to go through this and I beleive that there is no two ways about it or any easy fix. As I have shared, this is the hardest thing thus far in my life I have had to go through. I thank you all for being here and posting I do get alot out of them, just knowing I am not alone is a great help. My husbands birthday is June 8(Sunday) I plan to spread his ashes on that day. I am in so much emotional pain at times I don't know what to do. Any suggestions will help or comments. Love you All Jackie

Congrats Gail, What a blessing, I pray you enjoy your grandson as I know you will..

Kay, I am so sorry to hear about your loss, please remember to take care of yourself as Marty said. Much Love and Prayers to you and your friend. Jackie

Johs, I am happy you are back cause I need you. I have had many of those as I call them grief attacks, they just come for me. I am not sure what to say to you. I am new and am happy to heard from you Jackie Love You all

Singledad, I want you to remember, you but something in those girls that no one can take away, being their father. So no matter what he the sperm donator does, they will always know that you are their day, I feel I often say to much or cancel everyone's reponses, however I have to say this becaucs this is what I was think and feel. You are donig the best you can and no on can ask for anymore, so just know no matter what happens it is going to be ok. I pary you are enjoying your trip. and appauled you for being you. Keep your head up. Love Jackie as I love you all Jackie

Hi Shelley, Please remember to take care of yourself and I really got alot out of you post. Keep the Faith Jackie

Hi Kim, I will be praying for you and your family. I also pray the clinical trail works for your sister-in-law. Keep the Faith Love you All Jackie

Hi Lyn, Wow, this really touched my heart. Tomorrow will be just 2 months my Lawrence went home. I cry all day almost everyday, have no energy to get anything done around this house. I have attempted to do the dishes this morning, which I am going to finish after I read this morning. I do go for a walk everyday, which I think helps. I just don't know where I belong anymore, I have not worked as I was taking care of my husband for the last 8 months of his life. I am just not sure what I need to do to move on, should I get a job, I really need money so I think I just answered that question. I am so thankful my sister came to live with us just 2 months before Lawrence died. So she is here with me in this big house. Still I miss him so much, I dreamed about him last night and he was sick, so I awoke this morning happy that he is not suffering anymore because he was. I am also happy that in his last days we really talked and he shared with me how much he will always love me and thanked me for being his wife, when I think of that last conversation I do cry however they are tears of joy. So I am not sure what I am saying just going on and on. I am just happy today that there is someplace I can come and read my own story daily, lets me know I am not alone or crazy(well my husband would always tell me I am crazy because all his friends are crazy and me being his best friend well lol)....I just remember alot of the things we talked about is this all apart of the process, reliving our lives together? Thanks for listening... Love you All Jackie

Hi Singledad2, I am so sorry for your lost, I have a child however she is 27 and out on her own. Its been 2 months and I really feel your pain, I cry daily now to me it seems with time there are more tears, however I beleive they are healing tears, my husband meant the world to me as I know your wife does to you. I love the way you share and I am encouraged by you, having so much to deal with at one time. I really liked Marty's reply, to take care of yourself in order that you will be there for your children and you seem to be doing just that, please keep Posting. Love You All Jackie

Scotty, my heart goes out to you. This really hit me hard very hard...I have not done anything with Lawrence's ashes, he asked me to spread them out in Fairmount Park, which is the largest Park in this city. I thought I would do it alone on his birthday, June 8th, cause as you said when it is all said and done we are alone. Your experience has helped me, think I will give myself more time as this breaks my heart, I will continue to ask God when is the right time. Take care and thanks for sharing Jackie