jackietnd1

Hi, Thanks so much ladies, I have my husbands wedding boba and something from my mother that I want to have done. Perhaps I will also have one done for my grand daughter from her PaPa, she will love that. I will keep them on my bed. Thanks again soooo very much. I am feeling a little better today. I called my Aunt, my mothers last living sibiling and we talked, I will go to visit here next weekend that made me feel alittle better. Grief really has a way of taking all your energy and feelings at times. I guess it is all a part of the process, however I am so blessed to be able to come here and talk about how I am feeling and you all understand and have been there also....Keep the Faith. Oh one more question it seems that I will have to make it myself is that true??? I went to the site and looks like you cannot order it....I don't know. Jackie

I am so sorry to hear about your loss and I will keep you in my prayers. That is alot of lost in a couple of years. Keep the Faith Jackie

Hi ThinkingSpring, I am so very sorry for your loss, I to loss my mother in 2008 on November 15th. I have been coming to this site for some time now and never thought to come over here. I also loss my husband in 2008 in March. I so understand what you and talking about and have gotten alot of encouragement out of what you have posted. With my husband I felt like the only one, however with Mommie it is 5 of us and she passed at home on hospice with all of us around her bedside which she wanted, we all watched her take her last breath. She had cancer for 4 years and moved to Philadelphia from Flordia in June of 2008, my brother took care of her in Flordia with his family and he thought it was time for her to be with her daughters. I am so greatful to him for what he did for her. Everyone experiences their greif differently so please try not to be to hard on your Dad, I understand him on both points as I lost my spouse also. I am truly greatful I read your post today as I am having a hard time today and you have encouraged me. Keep the Faith as I pray we all do. Jackie

Hi Everyone, Today I have been thinking so much about Mommie, her big brown eyes her sayings and I miss her so much, my husband, my mother. This is so difficult. Should we question God. This seems so unfair, I don't want to come here and whine, however I miss them so much today, the whole in my soul is go large, can't sleep tonight. Thoughts just wont go away tonight. Help don't know what to do. This pain is so great, hard, what do I do? I am so very sad and hurting, my brother lives with me and I also see all the pain in his eyes also and there is nothing I can offer him. Jackie

HI Russel, I too lost my mother, just Nov. 15 and my husband earlier this year on Good Friday March 21st. I am sorry for your loss. Please keep coming here reading and posting if you like, do be too hard on yourself. I lost so much weight taking care of my husband, his illness was 8 months long and he was very ill, my mother was ill as well however she did not get as sick, she just went home after a stay in the hospital even though she had cancer longer than my husband. They are together now. I had a difficult day today just thinking about them. It is coming up on one year for my husband and not even 2 months for Mom. This site has helped me so much at time I just come here and read, just knowing I am not alone helps. And my friend you are not alone either, there is much care and love here. God has a plan for your life so please take care of yourself and don't beat yourself up about the weight it will come and go. So please keep coming back here reading, posting, crying whatever you have to do it is normal.....whatever that is. I have you and everyone in my prayers daily so I ask that you also pray for me, together we can, alone we can't. Russell take care of you as you greive. Jackie

Hi Waltc, Wow Jan. 2005, just to think back to that time, every thing was great. Our life was normal, both working and enjoying out life together, who ever knew what was to come in just a couple months. First we found out Lawrence had lung cancer which he has surgury and they said they got it all. We went back to our lives enjoying each other, working comeing home everything seemed to be great. Then in July 20006 we found out that his cancer returned in his spine and 8 months later he was gone. So fast so quick. This makes me feel sad just thinking about it what a difference 3 years makes. One moment all is well and then the turmoil started and my life has not been the same since and will never be. 1 year is coming and I am so not looking forward to this so please keep me in your prayers. March 21... which was Good Friday last year. Thanks for sharing this. Jackie

Hi Kay, My hat goes off to you for telling that person, as long as it takes, some people just don't know what to say. I am so gratful you are here and was here when I got here, you have been a great help to me. And whom ever said that must have not had a lost because they will know it takes whatever it takes and however long it takes. It it not all the time we talk about our grief just our life and that is how long it takes a lifetime. Proud of you for setting that person clear. Everyone thanks for being here I need you all. Jackie

Hi Vickie, I went back to work about 6 months after my Lawrence passed, then my mother passed and I got fired just about 2 or so weeks ago. I did like the job however I was taking care of people and not taking care of myself, it was my doing and I accept that. I am now looking for work and I will keep you all posted as my search goes on as yours, so I am sure in time we will both be posting we got the job. As you my balance is gone times 2 however I have go to keep going. Kay you always give good advice, I am just back from a trip from Va where my daughter is planning to move and while there I got my first interviewing outfit for 15 bucks and am going to follow your advice about getting 2 to 3 more most likely from my closet however I will get them together and ready,, Vickie we will find jobs just keep pushing on and it is a full-time job trying to find one. We will get one. No bags here. Jackie

I am really sorry to hear about the loss of your father I will keep you ing prayer. I loss my mother just 11/15/2008 this is the first time I am sharing it over here Keeping the Faith Jackie

Kay and George Erica and Walter Scott and Kate Tom and Mary Linda Janet and Mike Corinne and Jimmy Jeanne and Alex Derek and Karen Rosemary and Lou Bob and Janet Jean and Walter Bob and Mel Teny and Yiany Mark and Julie Harry & Sherry Wendy and Steve Jack and John Karen and Jack Jan and Dale Joe and Marsha Larry and Deborah Kathy and Bob Bruce and Gail Pat and Walter (((Jackie ))) and Fred Charlie and Patti Lawrence and Jackie

Hi Everyone, Thanks for sharing your experiences about the Holidays, this was my first Christmas without my Lawrence and was difficult, as well as lossing my mother just before Christmas. The most difficult part for me was that this was both of their faviorte holiday and they both always made it special. I was just not going to do anything let the day just go by. However I did put the tree up, cooked dinner and had my sisters and brother and my dad over for dinner. And like you said Paula everyone looks on the outside and say you look good, however on the inside I was falling apart. I did get through it, lost my job in the process due to my own doing trying to self medicate once again. The one year mark is coming up for Lawrence and I am just not sure how to feel so today I am just trying to take one day at a time. I went to shop for myself this year as Lawrence always got me the best smelling perfurms so I went and got a couple that he would have got me. and in momery of Mommie I was the family cook, which that is what she would have do. I am just trying to honor them and live as hard as it is some days, it been 9 months for Lawrence and almost 2 for Mommie, I pray this gets better. Keep the Faith Jackie

Hi Everyone, Wow Mike what a wonderful though provocking question. I would just love to smell Lawrence and hold him once more and of course make love.... , I would also want to be selfish and have him to myself however Jadira our 5 year old granddaughter would have to have some time as well.... What a thought....not sure if I would like this the more I think due to the fact that he would just have to go home all over.... Keeping the Faith Today Jackie

Hi Kim, Sorry to hear you are going through so much, I pray for you and your entire family, You are such a special person, I remember when I came on this site you were always here for me and I know you still are. I did not know you had so many loses so close together, however I now know I am not ever alone. 03/20/2008 I lost my best friend of 16 years of cancer like your friend and he just went to sleep in my arms, I know this was a blessing because we talked about it and that is what he wanted not what I did. On 11/15/2008 I just lost my mother to cancer as well and did watch her take her last breath which I do wonder was that such a great thing. I am so proud of you and you are such a great person and an encouragement to me each time I read your post. I have not post in a long time myself due to Mom moving here in June and dealing with her and her illness. Now they are both together and I am still here and not even sure If I want to be myself, I just always love hearing from you, and know that God is using you, I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Keep the Faith Jackie

Friday was our 10, I have more feelings today how I miss my Baby. He really tried to make it till 10 howerer he did not. we were together for 16 this is diffiult. My mother is sick with Cancer and getting worse. I know God does not put more than you can take on you. However this is very hard watching her, and knowing what is next, my siblings look to me aldo9 I am the youngest they know I have been through this 2 times. It is hard for me to tell them the truth. However I have to. This is tearing me apart. I went back to work this week and I am happy now 6 months yes however i feel good. Please give me some feed back on MOM. Miss you all and Love you all Jackie from Philly

Hi Jan, Its been 5 months for me also and I feel you pain no one can till you when and how to greif pisses me off. Sister we are in this together for me its been 16 years for me however it does not matter the time. What we had was so special....So greif and do your thing just don't tell them talk to us we are here for you. Jan Keep the Faith and if you feel that no one understands remember Jackie does and we walk together Love you All Jackie

I pray this finds you all in great spirits, I have not posted in some time now, I don't beleive my Lawrence has been sleep for 5 months now, how I miss him, I think of him so many times a day. I have just been living life and enjoying I know thats what he would have wanted. I miss you all had a very hard time finding this site again. Marty and KayC whats going on..Enough from me. I would encourage all to Keep the Faith. God Bless you all Jackie Love you all

Hi Wendy, I just I pray for you and your mother. That is wonderful news my mother has cancer she is doing well for now Jackie

Hi Jlynn, I just want to welcome you to this group, there are so many very sweet and understanding people here. I lost my husband in March today is the 4 month mark. I too am sorry for your loss and am happy you found this site, for it has and continues to help me on a daily bases, most times I read all the post everyday to let me know I am not alone. Again sorry for your loss and welcome keep posting. Love you all Jackie

Hi Gail, Today is just 4 months for me, I really love how you are honoring your husband remembering the good times. And God has blessed you to have had 30 wonderful years. Keep the Faith I am praying for you. Love you all Jackie

Derek, This is wonderful. I pray God continues to Bless you and your family. Love you all Jackie

Scotty, Come on now, graduations are hard amd you handle youself very well so I am happy we did not have children together becauce I know I would loaa it at those time...I know your daughter was very proud of her dad. As I am also. You just keep doing the next right thing. LOVE YOU ALL jACIER

It is always to herr how poeple is felling. I have a wonderful day, Went for my walk took the dog. just had a wonderdul dat I how this encourages someone I did think baout Lawrenc, all happy thoughts, thats what he wanted. Now not to say I have hard days, I just wented so ahare this with my Friends. This was a very day. TO GOD THE GLORY FOR ALL THINGS COME FROM HIM. CAN'T SPELL ALL THAT WEAL

Hi everyone, I am not not sure if this is corret, howeVER I am havomg a hard time not sure if woman have a easier time I am not. it is getting better however I am having a difficut, I could not read the aritcle and would like to. I am alone and feeling however all is well. thanks for being here for me. Love you all. Jackie

Hi Wendy, My prayers are with you, I so understand how you feel. My daughter moved out and my mother is home now and dealing with cancer daily. You will do just find, you just have to go through. I pray I am not bringing you down however reality is reality. And yes as someone said call on those folks who said "is there anything I can do to help". I know well what COPD is and know you must take care of yourself through this all. The list sounds great also. My friend please please KEEP THE FAITH and you will be ok... Love you All Jackie

Hi, Just up late, I am so happy your all replied to may post and some of you e-mailed me which made me fee special. I love you all and I will always be here for you. Been 3 months for me today, had a godd you thinging about him, and praying which changes things. I am so depressed a I stay away from my fammily, like today I ask my mother to cook which she did. one sister came over, Mom is doing good, she cooked and everything. I will always remember to KEEP THE FAITH, I am doing great today, Love You All Jackie and again Thanks