I feel so lost, sad, overwhelmed and just miss him so much.

[Kazza57]

I lost my husband to cancer 3 months ago. I have great sons and daughter in laws, grandchildren and many friends. I just hurt so much and know I need to keep going, but just struggling to find purpose in each day. 

[rdownes]

Hello Kazza57, I feel you pain and understand , I welcome you to our community though what brought you here truly makes my heart go out to you because you have lost your other half , I lost my husband Kevin of 26 years in May and it has been been a hard road. I to have family around me I have seven children and six grandbabies but it does not erase the loneliness, emptiness I feel, we are all struggling to find our way in this life none of us wanted, I feel like I am living in a nightmare that never ends,  for me I try and find my comfort and strength in holding on to my Kevin's unconditionally love, I  feel that they never truly leave us and true love never really died. I believe they walk with us in spirit though that does not always ease the pain, I have been having a hard month but I keep going, I keep trying to find my sense of peace though sometimes it feels so far away or impossible but I believe in our own time at our own pace we can find that peace it will just be a long hard road to get there this is an amazing community of people who truly understand and care you are not alone, just take it slowly we all are here for you. Hugs  Robin

[KATPILOT]

But you will Kazza . In time you will find purpose but for now, welcome. I'm sorry for why you have found us. I too have great sons and daughter-in-laws, grandchildren and many friends but at the end of the day there is always someone missing. Someone quite important huh?

[kayc]

Kazza,

Welcome to this site.  You have found a warm caring place to be.  I'm glad you have such a good support system, but it helps to let it out to people who have been through it and "get it".  I hope you find comfort and encouragement here.

I am so sorry that you too are experiencing this loss.  It takes a lot of time and effort to process their grief and then go on and try to find some purpose for living.  I think that was the hard part for me because my big purpose was gone, as was my big joy.  I've learned to appreciate the little joys in life and find purpose where I could.  Sometimes we feel we don't make a real difference to anyone, but we'd be surprised if we could see life without us like in "It's a Wonderful Life", we do make a difference to people, even when we don't see it.

[Kazza57]

8 hours ago, rdownes said:

Hello Kazza57, I feel you pain and understand , I welcome you to our community though what brought you here truly makes my heart go out to you because you have lost your other half , I lost my husband Kevin of 26 years in May and it has been been a hard road. I to have family around me I have seven children and six grandbabies but it does not erase the loneliness, emptiness I feel, we are all struggling to find our way in this life none of us wanted, I feel like I am living in a nightmare that never ends,  for me I try and find my comfort and strength in holding on to my Kevin's unconditionally love, I  feel that they never truly leave us and true love never really died. I believe they walk with us in spirit though that does not always ease the pain, I have been having a hard month but I keep going, I keep trying to find my sense of peace though sometimes it feels so far away or impossible but I believe in our own time at our own pace we can find that peace it will just be a long hard road to get there this is an amazing community of people who truly understand and care you are not alone, just take it slowly we all are here for you. Hugs  Robin

Thankyou Robin. I have related to other posts you had written, and do to your comments here. Thanks 

[Kazza57]

Thanks Robin, Kay and Kat. Not sure how to reply to each, but it is good to hear your encouragement. I have got through loss before, but just really struggling  to put one foot forward at the moment. 

[mittam99]

2 hours ago, Kazza57 said:

 I have got through loss before, but just really struggling  to put one foot forward at the moment. 

Kazza so sorry for the loss that has brought you to our forum of grievers. I think you will find many caring members here and it will help you cope on this difficult journey. 

You mentioned that you've gone through loss before. I too have lost aunts and uncles and grandfathers and grandmothers and my mom and dad. But nothing can prepare you for the devastation of losing your beloved spouse. After all, they were your greatest source of love and intimacy. You were with them more than anyone else. You could finish each others sentences. They made you whole.

I lost my wife Tammy unexpectedly on March 6, 2015. It was a day that change my life forever in so many ways. Tammy was my everything.

Over the past 20 months I've learned to cope a bit better but my life will never have the joy it once had. But, I know I was blessed to have found my soul mate; so many never experience the profound and deep love that I shared with my wife.

The only thing that keeps me upright is drawing strength from the feeling that Tammy is inside me heart and soul. And that someday we will be reunited.

In this life without our beloved, it's a moment to moment existence. Just when you think you're getting things "under control" a wave of grief will hit you and emotionally you're back to the day they died. 

You're only 3 months in. Be sure to try to take care of yourself. Eat properly. Try to get your rest. If you're have trouble coping, consider grief counseling. Right now it's about you although I know at times it's hard to really care. 

Please continue to read the posts here. There are some wonderfully helpful thoughts that our members have written from their heart. We're all in this together. We all need each other. And of course, feel free to vent or tell us your story anytime you want.

Mitch

[kayc]

Mitch said it.  I've lost grandparents, aunts, uncles, parents, niece, nephew, friends, and lots of pets, but the hardest by far was my husband.  I think pets ranked second, they're in your everyday life and it affects you on a deep level.  The level of grief seems to correlate with the depth of love we shared, of course everyone handles grief differently so what we see is not necessarily what is.

One day at a time, that's all we can handle. We're in this together. 

[Marie Lee]

Hi Kazza, Here you will always find persons of understanding, and shared experiences...grab  a spot around the gathering fire...Here we talk, vent ..cry and scream and hug/love via the web..

This Place has helped me so much. We are all on a difficult journey ..and we try to keep each other company.

Take care, Marie

 

[listener]

Welcome to the group. I can only imagine your pain and hurt that you are experiencing at this time.  Reaching out to others is good for you. Are there any grief support programs in your area?  Is there a friend who you could talk with or go out for lunch with once in awhile? Do you have any hobbies or interest that you do or want to get started with now that you have time so you have something to look forward to?  May you grow stronger with each new day.   God Bless.