I can get through this on my own

[Polly]

Glad you went Marg!

I also went to a support group a couple of months ago. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. It was local at a women's house. She lost her young son about 6 years ago. It was for 10 weeks once a week. After it ended we decided to keep in touch. For the past couple of months 2 of the people from the support group plus me and my daughter have been going bowling on Thursday nights. The one guy is 7 years younger than me but in so many ways reminds me of Richard. We have really made a connection. We talk everyday. I never ever thought that I would be able to have feelings for someone else. Tonight I had a breakdown before going bowling. When I got there this guy knew something was wrong. He talked to my daughter and she told him I was really having a hard day. He hugged me and told me it was ok. Gosh, how it felt so good to have that hug from someone. Gosh this is so hard. It is nice to be able to have someone that understands. I'm just not so sure how my older daughter will take this. My younger daughter really likes him and I think she is ok with this.

[Margm]

I think we all feel better having someone to talk to.  We do what we have to do to help ourselves.  I have lived almost 3/4th of a century and I can see you younger people needing to have life left.  I was with Billy over half a century and while I can be friends with men, I am too old to be anything but friends.  Some of my women friends have remarried.  Some have not.  One of my male friends remarried and is very happy.  

We do what we can to help ourselves.  Just be very careful.  I know you want happiness and I know everyone wants you to have it too.  I never was one to take advice, and I do not have sense enough to give it either.  We all need peace of mind.  How we find it................., well, that is up to us.

[KATPILOT]

You don't have to be married to be in love with your friends. And that you can do at any age.

 

[KATPILOT]

And I'm not talking about losing the love that is and always shall be the most important thing to you.

[Margm]

I have the friend who had to get married at 14.  He was 17.  She was a widow at 17.  Her child's father, but she was just a child herself.  She got her GED and worked hard to support that baby.  Met this "fly by night" fellow, had another baby.  Then he brought his girlfriend and their baby to live with my friend.  This little child herself, she took care of all of them.  Divorced, he married other baby mama.  They all stayed friends.  House family most of the time.  I think his drinking got him killed. Met another with kids, married, kids didn't get along.  Divorce.  Then stole the "love of her life" the little red headed cowboy from his wife of many years.  He could not understand why she got so upset because he ran around on her.  They went to marriage counselor and he married the marriage counselor.  Then they both became pastors and started a "cowboy church."  Talk about "looking for love in all the wrong places."  There was another in there somewhere, don't remember him.  But "true love?"  Which one?  Her grown son said "Mama, you don't have any luck with men, maybe you ought to try women."  Sometimes you find true love.  Sometimes you love that true love but dislike them at the same time.  But still love them.  I know I have lost my best friend.  And yes, he had to be my true love.  Sometimes we find them, sometimes they die and leave us and we know we have lost something more valuable than your own life is to you.  I always knew it was Billy, only one time seriously thought I didn't want to go back after a six week separation.  That was 1993.  I reluctantly went back.  I am glad I did.  There are some of our mates their personality and love sparkled like no one else could.  It was not love at first sight.  It grew into an adult love though that no other could touch, I always knew I would fight for our life and so would he.  But, there are other people out there.  Maybe not for me, but for others of you, even though the doubt is there, there are other friendships that might develop into something else.  My biggest fear, losing someone else.  My friend is fixing to lose her 2nd husband.  At our group a woman had lost her over 40 year marriage husband, married neighbor she had known for 30 years, he died after four.  I am afraid my little psyche could not withstand another loss.  I wanted to follow this one, with intent and purpose.  But still, you younger ones, you have your choice.  Most of my older friends would not think of it, but some of them did.  

Life is stranger than fiction.  

[KATPILOT]

I met this couple in the radiation waiting room at the Mayo while sitting with Kathy. They were there also for the husbands radiation for his brain tumor which was inoperable. They had met there in that same waiting room years before when each was with their spouse who would later die. They began a relationship and then married only for the man to be the next to go. Life is unfair. Life is sad. Life is a risk we take to love again but who can say it's worth it. Only ourselves.

 

Your right Marg. Life is stranger than fiction.