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Polly

Contributor
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About Polly

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Your gender
    Female
  • Location (city, state)
    Bangor, Pa

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
    wife
  • Date of Death
    11/5/2015
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    St. Luke's Hospice House/Bethlehem, Pa

Recent Profile Visitors

1,124 profile views
  1. My 18 year old daughter, who is recovering from a horrible car accident had something strange happen yesterday while I was at work. She was fixing herself dinner. She needed to open a jar of alfredo sauce. She just recently has been cleared to start using her left arm. She broke the upper part of her arm and has a plate in there. Anyway, she couldn't get the jar open. She tried and tried. She sat down at the table and was about to cry because there was no one else here to help her. Her hand was resting on the jar lid. After a few minutes of sitting there, the lid came off without her even twisting it. She knows it was her dad. She thanked him.
  2. Tom, I would ask her why she says no to you visiting. Who knows why she is saying no. I would have to know. I have been seeing someone for over a year and a half. We actually met at a grief support group. I have to say it's really hard dating again. I actually never thought that I would. We were just 2 people that lost the loves of our lives. We became friends and started doing things together as friends. There was a connection from the beginning. There were so many times that I thought that I couldn't continue with this relationship. I think I'm finally ok with it now. Even though he is different from Richard, there are many ways that he is so much like him.
  3. Katie, {{{{{{{{BIG HUG}}}}}}}}}}} Wish I could give you a real one but this will have to do.
  4. Just wanted to update. It's been over a month since the last one. Nicole is walking with a cane now. She still can't walk for long distances. She can now start using her left arm. She was also cleared to drive. We bought her a car this week and that has helped her feel more independent. This whole thing has brought us closer together. She actually talks to me about personal things now. I have also straightened things out with Bill. We talk everyday but only see each other a few times a week. Nicole even went to dinner with us last weekend and she was really good about it. Yesterday, I told her I was going to ask him to come over to help me get the 4 wheeler out of the garage and put it in the shed. She was ok with that. In 2 weeks my girls and I are going to my hometown to go to the craft show that I love going to. All 6 of my sisters live there and my mom. So we will get to spend time with my mom too. We are looking forward to it. Then when we get back a few days later Bill and I are going to the beach with our friends from Wed thru Sunday.
  5. I have been telling her she needs to slow down. Although I think she already learned that lesson. She has admitted that she was going too fast when the accident happened. I was happy that she didn't try to deny that fact. The nice thing about this car is that you don't have to switch it to 4wd, it does it by itself. My jeep is the same way. I'm waiting for the mail to get here because I had to order a replacement garage door opener for her. We never found the one that was in her car. I'll have to program it. Just another thing that Richard would have taken care of that now I have to do. I also need to push the 4 wheeler back out of the garage and into the shed. My son in law took it out of the shed to try to get it running but was unsuccessful.
  6. Monday after Nicole's therapy we stopped to look at car for her. It was at a local dealership that Richard always bought his new cars from. Richard was friends with the owner since they were little. I haven't been there since Richard died. They had a 2016 Jeep Renegade that just had been traded in. Nicole liked it. Nicole and I have been looking for a car for a awhile. At first she kept showing me cars. Well we live in the middle of no where and you really need something that is 4wd in the winter here. Between myself and my older daughter we convinced Nicole to get something that was 4wd. She said she would like a Jeep Renegade because they are small. Anyway, we looked at this one and thought it was going to be out of her price range because it had low mileage on it. After talking to the salesman he gave a price. It was too good to pass up. So on Tues. after I got home from work we went and picked it up.
  7. It's been almost 3 for me. I bagged up all of Richard's clothes shortly after he died. I put the bags in the garage and they sat there until a few weeks ago. I finally donated them. I still have all of his hunting stuff and train stuff in the basement where they have always been. His train table still sits untouched. I just can't do anything with that stuff yet. I have thought that I need to but I guess I'm just not ready yet. The basement was his man cave. There is still a calendar hanging on his big tool box that is hanging on the wall. It's on October 2015. I can't take it down.
  8. Just wanted to update about my daughter. It has been 2 months since her car accident. She spent 3 weeks in the hospital. When she was released I had to take a leave of absence from work to take care of her without pay. Ended up being out of work for 5 weeks. I went back to work this week. She is slowly getting better. Today she seen the surgeon. He said she could start driving again but still can not go back to work. She is doing good and walks with a cane now. She wants so bad to get another car. I'm shocked that she is not afraid to drive again.
  9. Tom, No, you haven't lost it. I think that is great. I have been saying that Richard must have brought Bill into my life. I swear sometimes he will say something and I'm like, OMG! I swear it is the exact thing Richard would have said. Bill also lost his girlfriend of 20 years. Although things are on hold with us right now. My youngest, who is 18 and just graduated from high school was in a bad car accident on July 7. She never was thrilled that I was dating Bill. Anyway, I told Bill we had to take a break because right now my daughter needs me to take care of her.
  10. I'm so sorry you are going through this alone. I understand the smoking thing. The patch just isn't the same. Hoping you are out of there soon.
  11. Polly

    My sister, Peggy

    Kay, They would probably let her use the wheelchair from the rehab. For Nicole, the rehab at the hospital ordered hers and the one handed walker and had it there before she went home. Yes, Nicole was in excruciating pain with pt in the beginning. It would make me nauseous to watch it. They also had a list of other things that she needed to have before she came home. The biggest thing was a ramp to get her in and out of the house. Thankfully my son-in-law took care of that for me. Financially, I have no clue what to say. I'm kind of in the same situation as far as that goes.
  12. Hugs to everyone!!! It seems we are all going through some tough times on top of our grief. Nicole came home from the hospital on July 27. I had to take an unpaid leave of absence from work. That is a really scary thing to do when you are the only one that is paying the bills. I had no choice. My daughter needs me and can't really use her whole left side of her body. To see her in the pain she in at times makes me nauseous. There are times that she gets so angry and frustrated. She hates not being independent. I would too. She is my mini-me. Then there is the whole situation with the guy I was dating and also my best friend. A week after Nicole's accident, I told him that I needed space. He was very hurt and upset. I feel really bad about that situation. I haven't really talked to him since. I just knew that my main focus had to be my daughter. She has always struggled with the fact that I was seeing him. She hasn't asked me why he hasn't been around. He was there with me the night we got the call about the accident and was there with me at the hospital. I just don't want to upset her and make her feel uncomfortable right now. At the same time...….I really miss him. I have no idea if we will even get back together. I keep holding out hope that we will.
  13. Fed ex?!?!?! omg, that is just crazy! and to your work not to your house? wow! Yes, I think I was in survival mode when I told him I needed space. I knew I couldn't handle anymore than just Nicole. Well she has been home for 10 days. Some days were so bad. One night she was in so much pain that it made me nauseous. A few times she has been so angry and frustrated. She is very independent like me and hates not being able to do things for herself. She still really cant walk. She has a one handed walker that she uses. It's a struggle just to get to her bathroom which is probably no more than 12 steps away. I took her out this evening to get something to eat and we stopped for ice cream before we came home. That pretty much wore her out. We have a busy week ahead. Tues we see the surgeon. Wed the neurologist and Thursday is PT. I'm hoping that she is mobile enough that I can go back to work in the next few weeks. Even if it's just a few hours a day.
  14. Kay, So sorry to hear about your sister. Wow, on them trying to cancel the surgery. That is crazy!!! I'm glad you stepped up and put your foot down. So everything went good with the surgery? Nicole's first pt appointment was this morning at 8am!!! What a nightmare to get there at that time. First off we got up at 6am. Neither one of us are morning people. We were running a little late leaving. We should have left at 7:15am. Then when we got to the highway it was a parking lot. At this point I knew we were going to be late. I had Nicole call them and tell them the situation. They were nice about and said they would still see her. Next appt. is on Friday but I made sure it was not another 8am appt. it's at 930am. I feel horrible about hurting him again. We are so good together. I guess in time we will see.
  15. Nicole came home last Friday. I did have to take a leave of absence. She can not walk. My son-in-law came over and build a ramp for me. This has been very hard for me emotionally. So much so that a little over 2 weeks ago I told Bill that I needed space. I haven't talked to him except for a few messages when he would ask how I or Nicole was doing. I have no clue if I will work things out with him. I know I have hurt him over and over. It's just so hard. I know right now my main focus is Nicole. I guess if it's meant to be it will be.
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