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About Polly

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    Advanced Member

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  • Your gender
  • Location (city, state)
    Bangor, Pa

Previous Fields

  • Your relationship to the individual who died
  • Date of Death
  • Name/Location of Hospice if they were involved:
    St. Luke's Hospice House/Bethlehem, Pa

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  1. I broke it off with Bill a few weeks ago. He was smothering me. I'm too independent for that. I need my space. He thought he had to do everything for me. I had talked to him about that several times in the past. Just not what I want or need. Things with Nicole has been good. She still is trying to recover for the accident. She still has pain in her arm and leg. I'm sure this is always going to be a problem for her. We have become really close since her accident. We are considering moving. Not sure yet but either moving back to my home town to be close to my 6 sisters and my mom or moving back to Florida. I would love either of those places. There is nothing here in this small town. Rich's family barely talks to me. They don't include me in anything anymore. Sad. It's like, Rich died so you are not part of the family any more.
  2. This will be the 4th Christmas without Richard. My daughter that still lives at home with me always makes me put up the tree. I do it for her. She turns 19 on Monday. Last year I bought a pencil tree. It's small and doesn't take much to set it up. We haven't set it up yet. I don't think I will put out anything else but the tree this year. We aren't here on Christmas anyway. The past 3 years Nicole and I leave on Christmas Eve after I get off of work and drive to Altoona to stay with my sister. We will do the same this year. It just makes it easier if we are not here.
  3. I will be working on Thanksgiving from 630am-3pm. I haven't worked on Thanksgiving in about 12 years. I was planning on just cooking my dinner on Wed because I'm off. Figured I can just heat up whatever I want when I get home from work. Plus, Nicole loves having leftover turkey for sandwiches. Just the other day Nicole tells me she is going to her best friends on Wed and spending the night there. So I guess I'm going to be eating alone on Wed. Nicole and I like to go Black Friday shopping. We have been going for years. It's always a fun time. I think we are going this year.
  4. Idk. When i'm with Bill everything feels right. But when i'm here by myself I question if i'm doing the right thing. I wonder if this is what I want. I have even thought that maybe can't do this. Then at the same time I think that I'm crazy to even think that. Moving on is just so hard. Thankfully he totally gets that because he is dealing with the same emotions.
  5. it's been 2 months since an update. Nicole went back to work on Nov. 4. Her arm isn't 100% yet but it's getting there. Hopefully in the next couple of months she can find a full time job. Bill and I went to the beach at the beginning of October with our friends and he proposed to me. It's now half way through November. I have thinking about Bill moving in with me. That is a hard one. I want it to happen. I want to take things to the next level but it's just so hard. I don't know if it's because this is the house that Richard and I shared. Or maybe because I'm worried about what our kids will think. IDK. The kids are all adults. They have all accepted the fact that I need to keep living. I think it is me. I think I'm having trouble with taking the next step. I know Richard would want me to be happy and would want someone to take care of me.
  6. oh yes. Right before Richard went into the hospital, we had a skunk that got into our basement through the kitty door. It sprayed in the basement. The night of my daughters cars accident after I spoke with the police officer and told me what hospital to go to, I was driving there and all of a sudden all I smelt was a skunk. The smell lasted way longer then it should have, Not the first time this has happened. I know when I smell that skunk spray smell for miles that it is Richard communicating with me.
  7. I was really shocked that I didn't cry. When I wrote that I thought wow! that was a first. How am I? I never know how to answer that question. I think I'm doing ok. 4 months ago Nicole my 18 year old daughter was in a horrible car accident that everyone says they don't know how she survived. After a lot of hard work, she went back to work this past Sunday. Everything she has been through has changed her(for the better). I got engaged on Oct 4 to the guy that I met at a grief support group two years ago. Ohhh the whole dating thing and being with someone else has been a rollercoaster ride. Although I really think Richard had something to do with me meeting Bill. Bill is so much like Richard. Sometimes it freaks me out.
  8. Today, Nov. 5 is 3 years for me. It does seem like forever ago and yesterday all at the same time. I've come a long way in the past 3 years. Surprisingly I didn't even cry today.
  9. Polly

    Head Count

    you had me at chocolate!!!!! LOL!!!! This time of year is really hard for me. My mind goes back to 3 years ago. Richard was in the hospital and they couldn't figure out what was wrong. Nov. 3 was the day the doctor finally figured it all out and I received the worst news ever. Little did I know that at that point I only had less than 48 hours with him.
  10. My 18 year old daughter, who is recovering from a horrible car accident had something strange happen yesterday while I was at work. She was fixing herself dinner. She needed to open a jar of alfredo sauce. She just recently has been cleared to start using her left arm. She broke the upper part of her arm and has a plate in there. Anyway, she couldn't get the jar open. She tried and tried. She sat down at the table and was about to cry because there was no one else here to help her. Her hand was resting on the jar lid. After a few minutes of sitting there, the lid came off without her even twisting it. She knows it was her dad. She thanked him.
  11. Tom, I would ask her why she says no to you visiting. Who knows why she is saying no. I would have to know. I have been seeing someone for over a year and a half. We actually met at a grief support group. I have to say it's really hard dating again. I actually never thought that I would. We were just 2 people that lost the loves of our lives. We became friends and started doing things together as friends. There was a connection from the beginning. There were so many times that I thought that I couldn't continue with this relationship. I think I'm finally ok with it now. Even though he is different from Richard, there are many ways that he is so much like him.
  12. Katie, {{{{{{{{BIG HUG}}}}}}}}}}} Wish I could give you a real one but this will have to do.
  13. Just wanted to update. It's been over a month since the last one. Nicole is walking with a cane now. She still can't walk for long distances. She can now start using her left arm. She was also cleared to drive. We bought her a car this week and that has helped her feel more independent. This whole thing has brought us closer together. She actually talks to me about personal things now. I have also straightened things out with Bill. We talk everyday but only see each other a few times a week. Nicole even went to dinner with us last weekend and she was really good about it. Yesterday, I told her I was going to ask him to come over to help me get the 4 wheeler out of the garage and put it in the shed. She was ok with that. In 2 weeks my girls and I are going to my hometown to go to the craft show that I love going to. All 6 of my sisters live there and my mom. So we will get to spend time with my mom too. We are looking forward to it. Then when we get back a few days later Bill and I are going to the beach with our friends from Wed thru Sunday.
  14. I have been telling her she needs to slow down. Although I think she already learned that lesson. She has admitted that she was going too fast when the accident happened. I was happy that she didn't try to deny that fact. The nice thing about this car is that you don't have to switch it to 4wd, it does it by itself. My jeep is the same way. I'm waiting for the mail to get here because I had to order a replacement garage door opener for her. We never found the one that was in her car. I'll have to program it. Just another thing that Richard would have taken care of that now I have to do. I also need to push the 4 wheeler back out of the garage and into the shed. My son in law took it out of the shed to try to get it running but was unsuccessful.