rdownes Posted January 20, 2017 Report Share Posted January 20, 2017 I haven't been on in a few days and I am not proud of why I need some help words of wisdom a reminder of who I am or was I am posting some thing that I am not proud of remember my post about lonely well few days ago I posted on Craigslist looking for something very specific (not a relationship) that damn urge took over again I didn't share any personal info but did set something up but then tonight Nickel back song never gonna be alone come on and I started crying lost it, it was like Kevin saying stay strong I feel like I am losing it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPraiseHim Posted January 20, 2017 Report Share Posted January 20, 2017 rdownes, this grief is the toughness thing I have had to deal with in my life. The loneliness and lack of intimacy is one of the things I still struggle with. It is such a strong drive. I feel like I am losing it most of the time. This grief just really hurts. You are still early in your grief walk and so it is a challenge to figure out what to do. We all have choices. I am learning that the feelings are valid and I need to be aware of them but I don't need to act on them. This pain of grief drives me to seek out what am I supposed to be learning and dealing with. I love my wife deeply and grieve deeply. I also know I need not close my heart to what the future will bring. I posted recently about rediscovering and kindling a passion in my life that gives me new hope and joy for the first time since my wife died. So I experience joy and grief at the same time. It boggles my mind. I never expected it to happen. No one knows what will be brought into our future. We still need to guard our heart so other don't take advantage of our pain.... cautiously optimistic I suggest to always follow what bring your heart and soul peace. I discover it best when I review what I am grateful for and just to be still and listen to that inner voice. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I give you a virtual {{{hug}}}. Hang in there. - Shalom 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted January 20, 2017 Report Share Posted January 20, 2017 Sorry you are having that part of grief where you feel that void. I'm not there but I can understand your need. Do not apologize for being human. ? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdownes Posted January 20, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2017 I am trying so hard to remember Kevin's love to remember how I felt/feel about him I don't want to disappoint him or dishor him or his memory in anyway but these stupid being alive urges won't go away I feel so lost. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marie Lee Posted January 20, 2017 Report Share Posted January 20, 2017 Yep, lost here too...hand raised... Marie 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mittam99 Posted January 21, 2017 Report Share Posted January 21, 2017 On 1/20/2017 at 7:13 AM, rdownes said: I am trying so hard to remember Kevin's love to remember how I felt/feel about him I don't want to disappoint him or dishor him or his memory in anyway but these stupid being alive urges won't go away I feel so lost. Robin, you won't "dishonor" Kevin by being a human being. You have to do what feels right to you. No one on this board is here to judge you in any way. We all know firsthand how incredibly hard this new life is. Hugs. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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