LighTrio Posted March 26, 2006 Report Share Posted March 26, 2006 OK. So I've been on the forum a while now and I really like talking to you all. It is really nice to have other people talking to me about something we share in common. And I hope it's ok if I vent for a minute about something that happened to me tonight that just has me VERY upset.Right now, I am taking care of my 15 year old sister (I am 25) because both of our parents have passed away, our mom just last May. And we've had some problem adjusting and getting our lives back on track. Me personally, I was getting things together for us and myself when I got a new job that I loved....and then lost it very unexpectedly at the very end of january when the company went out of business. Since then, I have been in a big funk and not enthused about looking for a new one, but I've still been sending out apps and resumes. I also hurt my back in the process, so I haven't been doing much but sitting around the house for the last month. Every once in a while, my sister will visit my cousins who really didn't know us that well until after my mom passed, and they decided to get more involved with us. My sis and I had a little fight this weekend with lots of emotions involved, so she went to their house for a little break. Just to mention a little about my cousins, they are in their 50's and kind of hippies. they tend to move a lot, and God love them, but they have bad drug related pasts and some run ins with the law. Their kids also have some problems and one of them is in jail right now. This will all have a point in a minute.At about 9pm tonight, I got a call from my sister asking me to bring her her medicine she forgot and my cousins wanted to give me some money they owed me for a car I sold them. So I go out there, just to do that and it turns into some big old intervention for me! I spent the next three hours sitting there while my cousin tried to play counselor between my sister and I. I mean I got told all about myself and then some. gail (my cousin) kept comparing everything we had been through to herself and things she had dealt with and what kind of a person she was and how strong she was about bad things that had happened to her in the past and that there are no excuses for depression. And basically just kept telling me that I don't have any excuses, that I need to get off my ass and "get busy" I mean this all went seriously in depth into a bunch of personal stuff that had been told to her by my 15 year old sister. Not only about the death of my parents, but all kinds of stuff. She even went to the point of telling me that I had gained a lot of weight since the last time she had seen me. So now, here I am, it is 1am....I got home at 12am...and I am just sitting here SO pissed off and upset. God love her for wanting to help if that was her intention, but I just don't see where she gets off trying to tell me stuff about myself living the kind of life her and her husband have led. She didn't even know me until my mom died in May when they decided they needed to get involved in our lives, yet she kept talking about how I had changed....and I had to call her on the fact that how would she know? It just pisses me off at they way she really thought she was counseling me and my sister by getting me there (lying to get me there at some crazy late time of night) and then throwing all this negative stuff at me. I'm sorry, but I just kept wanting to say "NO, YOU DON"T UNDERSTAND, YOU DID NOT LOSE BOTH OF YOUR PARENTS BEFORE THEY EVEN REACHED 50!" I just put in my two cents and said what I felt to wrap it up. And you know, some stuff I agreed with because I fully acknowledge that I've got probelms and need help. I fully admit that I have not been the same person since my mom died, but that I did try really hard until I lost my job (that I REALLY loved by the way which is probably why I'm taking it so hard) and the last month I haven't really done anything but give a half assed attempt at look for a new job. Which apparently, the job I had wasn't good enough either because I also got told about that and that I don't have any goals or want anything out of life! She literally told me that I was worth nothing and "didn't have anything to offer anyone" and that I had to be the person to change that.Does anyone think that was a correct way to go about trying to get help for someone? If there are any counselors or professionls on the board, I would really like your opinion. I don't understand this whole thing and I know that sometimes you have to use tough love, but this feels ridiculous. Truthfully, right now I am just torn between being very angry and very hurt and bombarded and just wanting to sit and cry about all this stuff that was said about me. I mean it was EVERYTHING about me, head to toe, inside and out. How can anyone come away from something like that feeling like they are cared about or helped? I just feel a lot worse because not only did they confirm the worst things I thought about myself, but they added new ones. Has anyone else had an experience like this? Is it a cool thing to throw a little late night intervention for someone who is grieving? Although it's been a whole 10 months since my moms death, and acording to them I should be over it and going on with my life.I am just so upset. Your thoughts please..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!Register a new account
Already have an account? Sign in here.Sign In Now