Anniversay coming and losing it!!

[Changedmom202]

It's 5 days before the anniverary of the day my world as i knew it changed and Im all over the place. I lost my daughter on April 2, 2017. It was sudden, tragic and in the home my husband and children still reside in. I am feeling Anxious, angry and frustrated after having to.deal with this also knowing that there is nothing i can do legally due to the fact my child had medical issues even though it was caused by pure negligence. I DONT WANT THE MONEY I WANT JUSTICE. I DONT THINK THIS WOMAN SHOULD BE MEDICALLY CARING FOR ANYONES CHILDREN. Its sad that there is nothing that can be done. I relive that time everyday and live with regret, and anger with myself for even trusting anyone with my child!! I have nigtmares, daymares and thoughts constantly. I have been to therapy, extensive and outpatient. I am super overprotective if my other chidren especially with the pandemic that is happening now Im terrified. I need advice!! Help!! 

[Kieron]

Anniversaries are always, always hard, and I cannot begin to imagine the experience you are describing.  😔

[MartyT]

As this three-year anniversary approaches, remember that it is but one more day on the calendar, and only as meaningful as you choose to make it. Is there some sort of healing ritual you might construct that can help you through that day?

Losing a child is a parent's worst nightmare, and for you it is a reality. I am so sorry. Can you share more of your story with us? If negligence was involved with your daughter's death, I think it's understandable that you're feeling "super overprotective" of your other children. After all, if this can happen to one of them ~ if your entire world can be turned upside down by one catastrophic event ~ it's only natural for you to question and worry for the safety of the rest of your family.

You say you've been to therapy, "extensive and outpatient," but if you did not get the support you need, might you consider seeing someone else?

You've asked us for advice, and I'm hoping some of the ideas in these articles may be useful:

 In Grief: Dreading The Anniversary Date Of a Loved One’s Death

Tips for Coping with Anniversary Reactions in Grief

Grief Rituals Can Help on Valentine’s Day (or Any Special Day)

 

[kayc]

I am so sorry, I can't imagine anything worse than what you have been through and continue to go through.  I can get how this current pandemic must be escalating your fears for your other children.  I hope you'll take to heart what Marty said, she's one of the best and knows her field.  Even though most places aren't offering in person visits right now, they can still do phone visits.  

I wish you could have been able to ensure that the person responsible for your child's death was never able to care for children again...that said, I know there is no true justice in this world because if there were, you'd have your child back.  One of the things I learned when my husband died was the love continues, we continue to hold them in our heart, our way of interacting has changed though.  

Sending you thoughts of comfort as you go through another anniversary of death.