Paul S Posted June 24, 2006 Report Share Posted June 24, 2006 One of the phrases that pops up from time to time on these boards, and it is one that usually gets knocked, is the phrase "They're in a better place."It is usually spoken by well-meaning people who can't think of anything else to say about our loss, and feel that's the best they can do. So be it, but it is usually disliked by the reciever (the griever).I never gave that much thought about it, but I've decided that I don't like it either. Now this topic isn't meant to debate the afterlife, whether there is one or not and what your concept of it is. (I believe in the Judeo-Christian Heaven, not that anyone cares).What bugs me about the phrase is its meaninglessness. "They're in a better place." How nice. What's wrong with this place? After all, I'm here and I miss them. Hawaii is a better place. The Virgin Islands are a better place. They're being "in a better place" just doesn't comfort me. Why couldn't they take me, too? I wouldn't mind being in a better place.What does make me feel much better is to change it to: "They're in a safer place." They no longer have any fears, anxieties, worries, are no longer in danger from anything, are no longer frustrated by their elderly bodies and the need to take a dozen or so pills everyday just to keep it going, are no longer troubled by any increasingly confusing and complicated world.One thing that dwelling on this has done for me is to help me to let go. I've thought about this a lot this past month and decided that if I had the power to bring them back, would I? The answer: "No." Why? Because why would I want to bring them from a safer place to here? Isn't the safety and security of our loved ones' (be they parents, children, spouses, siblings) paramount? Knowing (or at least pretty convinced) that they're in Heaven makes a whole lotta difference. Yeah, on some level I wish they were still here. After all, I miss them. But I am coming into my own (yes, a little late at 43, but time takes it time and there are reasons for everyting) and if there's one thing about this debate within myself, its that although I am separated from them, and miss them, I am determined to lead the moral and ethical life I think I need to so that when its my time to be recalled by the Manufacturer, I will be reunited to my parents, along with everyone else that's Up There, or will be between now and then (this includes a few people I've met on this board.)It makes the separation just a little bit easier to deal with.(One interesting thing is that I've had a lot of 'missing moments' or whatever they're called recently. When something happens to you, and you have this instinctive need to tell the deceased. Then you realize they'e not there.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!Register a new account
Already have an account? Sign in here.Sign In Now