WaltC Posted July 2, 2006 Report Share Posted July 2, 2006 I was a little late reading today’s message in Martha Hickman’s Healing After Loss – a great little book that I have recommended previously to those on this journey of grief.Martha reminds us that:“… We don’t need to take seriously the comments of probably well-meaning but ignorant folk who imply that we are being indulgent or weak in not “getting over it by now” – whether “now” is six months or six years after the loss has occurred”For me, it is nearly 15 months and I am not even close to “getting over it”.Martha tells us that “every grief has its own timetable, which only the grievor knows…Someone once said it takes seven years to adjust to the loss of someone close. So there’s no need to apologize if after many months we are still finding grief a major pre-occupation. And there is nothing to be ashamed of if a particularly poignant moment reduces us to tears a very long time after our loved one has died."She suggests that if someone says “It seems to me that you should be getting over that by now”, we might want to quote William Shakespeare who wrote: “Everyone can master a grief but he that has it.”I hope all my Canadian Friends had a good Canada Day yesterday and best wishes to my American friends on your upcoming Fourth of July holiday. Holidays can be hard, but if we can concentrate on the good times we had with our loved ones the pain can be lessened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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