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Hi, I am 45 years old married to a wonderful man, I have 2 kids 22 and 20. My father passed away December 30th and my mom passed away August 5. I was dealing with my dad dying and then my mom died too. Nobody I know has lost a parent yet, so after the first week they wanted me to be back to my old happy self. I am trying and most days are ok, but sometimes I see people who look like my mom or dad. And I am sad. My husband says he doesnt know what to do to help. My sadness is so deep inside and it comes up in waves... It is nice that I can write my thoughts out. thanks for listening :)

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Taika,

I'm so sorry for both of your losses and it is so normal for you to still be feeling so very sad. And, remember, you have to grieve in your own time, and if anyone doesn't understand that, they will eventually, when they go through it. Not that it helps you right now! As for your husband, maybe you could get him to read something about helping people who are grieveing. Go to the home page on this site and you will find links to all sorts of wonderful articles and suggested books. It sounds like he wants to help but just doesn't know how, which is true for many people.

Hang in there, things will get easier to cope with down the road.

Hugs,

Shell

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I understand how you feel. i lost my mom this july and my dad 4 yrs ago. i feel awful alot of the time. some moments are better then others and i hang on to that. i have been real down these last few days. keep coming and writing it will help to know that you are not alone. get your husband to read some of these posts and then he will know what you are feeling is normal. lori

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Hi, Taika:

I'm so sorry for your losses. My cousin Kim can really relate to what you're feeling. She lost her Dad (my uncle) in March and then her Mom (my aunt) about 3 weeks ago. I lost my Dad in June and I'm clinging to my Mom for dear life (I think I'm driving her crazy :P ). Just when you think you've turned a corner, you get broadsided again. I've found a lot of comfort at Marty Ts grief healing website as well as this discussion board. Her site has a lot of books, articles, inspirational quotations.....just about everything. You might try there for some more information.

I log on here just about every evening. Sometimes I don't post anything, just read. Just knowing that there are other people out there in similar situations and experiencing similar emotions is a great comfort to me. At least I know I'm not losing my mind and what I'm feeling is pretty much normal. It just doesn't feel so pretty good. :(

Take care....I'll be praying for you.

Leann

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Taika,

Yes, the "feeling alone even when you're not alone" feeling is so hard to explain. I think almost everyone on this site has felt that! This board has helped me more than I can ever say, especially in that area! When I come here, I feel so comforted, knowing that I have all of you and that I can talk about anything I need to. I just don't relate to most of my old friends anymore (and have dropped a lot of them, due to their insensitivity!) but I feel totally comfortable with all of you. Thanks to all of you.

Reading about grief is also a huge help. It lets you know you're ok and normal. I hope your husband will read some of the articles. It would help him to understand all that you are going through.

Hugs,

Shell

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I am so sorry for your losses. Though I haven't lost my mother, I lost my Dad 7 months ago and the pain is still fresh. I can relate to a husband not knowing what to say or do. My hubby lost his father 2 1/2 years ago and still grieves. But when I cry for my Dad, he just touches my hand and doesn't say a word. Which actually is what I need. Sometimes words aren't what you look for. I don't really have many close friends, my "best" friend of 15 years up and deserted me after my Dad's passing. Just water under the bridge..Anyways, You are in my prayers and thoughts and if you ever need to talk...

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Hi Taika,

I wanted to express how sad it must be to lose both of your parents... I too have lost both of my parents.. I lost my mom in April of 2005 and my dad in August of 2005... Both of them were sudden and very unexpected... I can imagine some of the feelings you are feeling right now and want to tell you that I am going to keep you in my prayers and you can email me if you need to have someone to listen to you.... Take care and God Bless You Shelley

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