Trying To Fit In

[shell]

Bob and William,

You are definitely targets for some "well-meaning" married women wanting to fix you up with their friends. I'm surprised you haven't run into that. You probably will down the road! Single life does create some awkward moments, doesn't it?

Bob, as usual you always bring a smile to my face! You have a great sense of humor and that will take you far. I had a gay friend years ago that I would go to functions with because he felt that he had to have someone with him, and he didn't want a particular group to know he was gay. It's too bad there aren't more "legitimate" dating services for just such occassions as you're encountering. Heck, for women too! There are times we aren't attached when we could use an escort too!

William, society does place some weird stigmas on being single sometimes! I always thought that men had it easier than women in this respect, but you have made me realize how tough it can be on you guys too.

Hugs to you both,

Shell

[Corinne]

Bob,

I like your thinking on approaching your friend on the "extra" ticket. I would ask him about it and let him deal with it. As you said why should you have to figure it out, you have enough to deal with at this point. If the ticket was meant for you to bring a "date", I would explain to him that you are not ready to date at this point and if he is not comfortable with you going alone then that is his and his wife's loss. I usually avoid the fifth wheel situations only because I feel uncomfortable. My sister's neighborhood has card night once a month, but it is all married couples so I do not go even though they invite me and would not treat me like a fifth wheel. I do however go to the all girl get togethers.

Hugs & prayers,

Corinne

[DesertBob]

No Shell, I haven't run into that one yet, but like you say, I suppose I will.

I can only hope that by the time you're in your fifties there is not so much hand-wringing anxiety to hook you up with someone, anyone. At least I can say I've been there, done that, got the T-shirt, don't need to prove anything. I've done what I'm "supposed" to do! I'm not "odd"! Well ... okay, not VERY odd.

--Bob

(coming to you tonight from Boca Raton FL -- like Phoenix but with humidity and palmetto bugs)

Bob and William,

You are definitely targets for some "well-meaning" married women wanting to fix you up with their friends. I'm surprised you haven't run into that. You probably will down the road!

[Stallyn]

Shell,

I get smiles and glimpses but the shyness gets in the way so hopefully a nice gal will make the first move LOL Question is; is there a "sane" woman out there?!? I just right now would be happy just with companionship

William

[shell]

William,

I'm not sure there are any "sane" people left period! I have no desire to date because I don't have the time, energy or patience, plus it's downright scary out there nowadays! Like you, I think companionship or friendship is what I would be most interested in at this point. But it's hard to find that. Unfortunately, I've gotten to the point where I trust very few people anymore and just don't want to make any new friends that I feel will probably just hurt me down the road. Does anyone else feel this way?

Hugs,

Shell

[STARKISS]

Hi All,

I was talking with one of my sister-in-laws on the weekend about trying to fit in to Pickering and she said maybe I am just trying to hard to fit in... If I did not try so hard maybe I would find that I do fit in... What do you all think??? Shelley

[STARKISS]

Hi All,

Here I am again sitting on the outside of the group... I have been told rudely by people who have come to the house and some who live hear that I talk way to much and I should learn to shut up more... I end up just leaving the area and doing my own think.... Maybe I should just give up trying to fit in and but alone and single for the rest of my life shelley

[Elizabeth A.]

Oh Shelley my heart goes out to you, sometimes when someone is nervous or excited they talk to help ease the nervousness. Either or might apply to you. Nervous because you're trying to fill the quiet or you don't know someone very well, or perhaps excited that it seemed like your family (granted extended) or their friends wanted to hear what you had to say. My husband falls into a cycle where he will tell the same stories. Everytime someone new comes along it's the same story. I personally find it sweet and comforting and I will squeeze his hand so he knows I'm there. But other people have complained to me about this trait in him. I suppose we're all different and that helps the world go 'round.

Did you have any luck with the pet shop job? If not now is a good time to look into it again before school lets out for the summer and everyone is looking for work.

Oh and on the working to hard, perhaps. But we are who we are and the best we can do is put our best foot forward. What sort of activies do you do outside of your sister's house? I think I read in another post that you scrapbook? If that's correct take a class or two, craft stores be them big or little offer them and would allow you to get out and interact with other people who share your interests. I'm currently in the process of finding a quilting club myself. It's HARD to reach out of what we know to find a friend, trust me I know I'm there. But seriously think about what you enjoy. If you like pets maybe you could offer to help someone in your neighborhood (who you know is buy or struggling, or has a new baby etc.) to walk their dog. Be prepared they might say no, but at least you put yourself out there, and I don't know about you but I figure it will get easier each time I interact with the outside world.

Take Care~

[Elizabeth A.]

I reread your comment about scrapbooking so perhaps that's not your cup of tea. Is there something else you enjoy? Reading? I never was one for physical sports and the like though what I did do in terms of fitness paid me back a thousand fold down the road, when I was able to draw on my flexiblity.

[Stallyn]

Shell,

I am appalled at such peoples behavior, what ever happened to compassion, thats plain cruel and not worthy of your presence, you are much better than that! Maybe someday they will experience the negativity and think twice about their actions how have you been otherwise? I am sorry about getting upset, but I seen mucch hurt from others and just no patience for such rudeness, you always need to talk and express yourself, thats part of who you are, reaching out, seeking solace, you will find it.

Love,

William

[STARKISS]

Hi All,

I Have had some time to think since I wrote last time and I have decide to return to my local church and take more time for my hobbies which are rug hooking and scrapbooking... And take less time in wondering how to fit in... I have just decide I need some of my past back and this means going back to my church again than I shall do that... Take care shelley

PS... Thanks to everyone who has supported me and care about me... Shelley

[Elizabeth A.]

Oh rug hooking! I was given a kit once, but couldn't figure out how to make it work, my mom was supposed to help me with it, but ended up doing it for me instead. Funny I suppose because I've always wanted to do that. Scrapbooking, now that's something I dabble in. A friend of mine is very or shall I say mind blowingly avid, but not me, I keep two books up to "date" so to speak and that's all I can handle. Not a lot of skill, but I enjoy it.

I can't tell you how many times I've heard other's say to do what you enjoy and happiness, friendships, relationships, come from that, so you must on a good path.