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Why Aren't I Crying?


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hi every1 my grandma died this morning at 3.10 (uk time)and i havnt cried yet she had breast cancer she was a young 76 year old she had all the treatment she could have but nothing worked for her. She came to my daughters 18th birthday party 8 weeks ago and she was fine. Then everything seemed to go wrong for her i was very close with my grandma when i was growing up. i just dont know what to do thanks xx

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I don't cry very much either Andrea. My Mom died 4 months ago today. My heart is broken. But I don't cry a whole lot. I'm not sure if that's normal or not. I miss her very much. I don't write very much here. I mostly just read. I don't share my feeling well. That's probably why I'm having migraines.

I am very sorry for your loss. The first month after my Mom passed I think I was in shock. It was like it just wasn't real. Sometimes it still feels that way. This is a good place to come to. I will keep you in my prayers.

Missing my mom,

Trudy

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Andrea and Trudy,

Sometimes it's hard to cry at first. I think people are afraid they will just lose control. But eventually, you will cry and you will cry a lot. When that time comes, just go with it, because it will ultimately be very healing. I'm so sorry for both of your losses.

Hugs,

Shell

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Everyone's death is different and our reactions to everyone's death is different. I didn't cry until the 7th month mark after my Dad's death. I was crying inside but the tears/sobs didn't hit until 7 months later. I immediately cried when my Mom died (well at least within the first half hour as I was holding my screaming , wailing and very shaky young son at the time and I held back my tears to console him.) My Mom's death has had a far more devastating impact on me than anyone else's deaths. We all handle it in our own way and like I said we react differently to each death so don't be hard on yourself -- the tears will come when they are ready. Love and hugs.

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  • 1 month later...

Andrea,

As others have said, every person grieves differently. When my dad had his stroke, I felt numb but didn't cry as my mind was probably processing the reality of the situation. About two days later it finally hit me as to how bad the stroke was, and when he died four days after he had the stroke, it really hit me, especially when I watched the hospital machines that kept track of his vitals finally showing him fading away.

It's been a little over two months, and I will have moments when it'll just hit me, usually always in private, and I'll start grieving. At this point I've decided if I lose control I'll lose control and let the grieving process run its course. Anytime I have a moment where I have an old memory come up, I will lose it. Right now, the one thing that really hits me is the reality that my mom and I have to look after one another even more so, which is interesting considering in my dad's final years he wasn't really a part of the family per se as he usually kept to himself, but at least you knew he was there.

Hang in there. It's still going to be a rollercoaster ride. You'll have your better days, and your real bad days. Right now it's been raining where I live so maybe that's why I've been feeling a little down than I have been. All I can say is hopefully you'll get through it as each day passes.

Jeff

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