Sonia78 Posted December 15, 2006 Report Share Posted December 15, 2006 Hi all,I joined today and this is just what i needed. I lost my father on October 7th of this year in Kenya. He had been diagnosed with cancer a month before and had undergone surgery to remove the tumor. He later succumbed to a post op infection. I was able o attend the funeral and returned back to the states. Being so far away from home and the rest of the family makes the healing so much harder. The holiday season just makes the misery even more i just dont want to hear any christmas cheer coz i feel like i have nothing much to celebrate.The thing about grief is that the world seems to be there for you when it happens and after a while the journey is all yours. it now feels like im dealing with a private grief. On the outside everyone thinks im strong and in a way expects it from me but when im alone all i want to do is cry my eyes out.As i write i feel a sense of consolation knowing there is someone out there who really knows and understands what im going through.Cheers,Sonia78 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted December 15, 2006 Report Share Posted December 15, 2006 Hi Sonia78,The first thing I would like to say is Welcome to the site!! You will find comfort and the support you need from all this wonderful members... I lost my mom in April 2005 and my dad in August of 2005 and I to this very day feel like I am emotionally trapped inside my body... I put on the strong face for people but when they are not around I cry and cry... I hope you will continue to post here and you find all the support and comfort you need to go through your own personal grief journey... Take care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorikelly Posted December 15, 2006 Report Share Posted December 15, 2006 I am glad that you found us here. it is a great place to come to know that you are not alone on this journey. we will all be here for you. wishing you peace. Lori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul S Posted December 15, 2006 Report Share Posted December 15, 2006 One of the huge benefits of this community is that everyone here "gets it". You can always come here when others who have never experienced the loss of someone hurts you in some way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted December 16, 2006 Report Share Posted December 16, 2006 Hi Paul S,You are totally right and that is why I am so very thankful for this site. You feel like you are a member of a special family here... Take Care Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leann Posted December 16, 2006 Report Share Posted December 16, 2006 Hi, Sonia: I'm so very sorry for your loss. You're in my thoughts and prayers at this time. I'm really glad you found this site; it's been such a blessing for me. The folks here have really helped me feel less alone in my journey and I have been able to find some sense of peace. Please visit often; may you find comfort and peace here as well.Hugs, Leann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shell Posted December 16, 2006 Report Share Posted December 16, 2006 Sonia,Welcome. It is true that at first everyone is there for you, but that quickly people seem to disappear! We've had many discussions about this on the board and many of us have even lost (or dropped) friends we thought would be there and weren't. It's sad. People just don't seem to want to "taint" their lives with our sadness. But, luckily, we all have each other here, and like Paul said, "We get it". So I'm glad you found our "family".Hugs to you,Shell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie Posted December 16, 2006 Report Share Posted December 16, 2006 One of the things that I realized, and learned about grieving is it wasn't really helpful for me when so many people said, "Call me if you need anything." They say they don't want to call in case I'm not up to talking. Well, you don't have to answer the phone if you don't want to talk. I found it very helpful for the few friends who called almost every day, just to see how I was, and let me talk. And really, who's going to actually call someone and say, "Hey remember when you said, if I need anything? Well I'm not up to cooking, but my kids need to eat." I really appreciated the times that friends just showed up at my door with a casserole, pizzas, milk and bread, snacks for the kids etc... I appreciate the anonymous friend that left a Christmas tree on my front porch. These are the things that help, that let us know people really care. Not offering--- but just DOING. I know I have learned from this. Any times one of my friends or family is suffering from a loss, I'll know what to do. If nothing else, I think it does make us more caring and compassionate people. Laurie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STOO Posted December 17, 2006 Report Share Posted December 17, 2006 Sonia,Welcome to the site. You have come to the right place. Here you will find many others who have experienced the same types of things that you ate now going through. Perhaps you will even find some hope for recovery here. Certainly you will find support and willing listeners.Many of here are particularly sorrowed during the Holidays - we understand how you feel about that.I hope that you will find comfort with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonia78 Posted December 18, 2006 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2006 Hi guys,Thanks for all the kind words its been really nice getting all the sweet notes as it makes the journey more bearable.God bless you all.Sonia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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