Gail_R Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 It is one year ago today that my husband Bruce dead. As I sit here a type this post I look back at this year without him. The first few months I could not or would believe that he was gone and gone for ever..but now that I have had a year to live without him and is starting to feel real. I never thought that I would be a widowed at such a young age...like everyone here Bruce and I thought that we had years left together but it was not to be. My life as changed so much this last year...I did not know that I could be so strong but I am. I have made this first year without Bruce and I am still here...some day's are good and some are just bad..but little by little the good day's are staritng to win. I thank GOD for the day that he brought Bruce into my life even though the it was not long enough it was and will always will be the best life that I could have had. Bruce and I where married just over 30 years when he dead..we raised three beautiful children..2 sons and 1 daughter. As I sit here an type my post the tears are just flowing there are some sad tears...for the years that I wish that we still had and some very happy tears for the years that we did have. The first few months after Bruce dead I was so mad at God..all that I kept thinking is how could a god that was so loving have done such a treable thing why Bruce why US..but then with the help everyone of you on this site I have made it to the first anniversary of Bruce's death and I am still here. I am not sure what the future holds for me but I know now that what ever it is I will be able to live with it. Everyone here that has read my posts know that I will be a Grandma in the spring for the first time and again in the late summer so I have to think that God and Bruce have been here this whole year and have been watching out for me and our kids. It is a year that I wish with all my heart that I did not have to live but I did and I have come out strong on the other end. Though I say this it does not mean that I miss Bruce any less it just means that i look at the love that we had for each othe and think that there are people out there that have not been lucky enough to have found that one true love and I did. I will LOVE HIM for the rest of my life and also MISS HIM for the rest of my live but I was lucky to have had him for the short time that I did. So THANk YOU everyone that has helped this passed year and just know that I will be here for more good day's and I'm sure that there will be some more bad day's.....Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 Gail, dear ~ Good days, bad days, and everything-in-between days, we are here for you ~ and know that we're all holding you close . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 Dear Gail, I very happy you have good days and that's through your strength and loving nature and your will to live. It is wonderful to know that there was this great and true love in our lives and, you're right, where would we be if we hadn't felt that kind of love. Cheers to you on your good days, and they will be more and more. We'll always love them, always miss them. Congratulations on your continued successes.Your friend, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lyn Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 Gail, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I wish you continous healing and peace. We will always be here for you. We are lucky we have found our soulmate, I pray that the happy memories will always sustain us through the coming days.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzanne Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 GailThinking of you today. May your memories and the love you and Bruce shared light your way. Hope the good days continue. We are so truly fortunate and blessed to have had such wonderful soulmates to share our life with.Suzanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gail_R Posted January 20, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 ladies thank you for replying to my post...yes we where truly blessed to have found our soulmates our one true loves. Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corinne Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 Gail,My thoughts & prayers are with you today! May your good days increase.Hugs & prayers, Corinne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art Posted January 20, 2008 Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 Hi Gail,I'm coming up on my first year and I know it will be tough. I got through the holidays even though it was reallly lonely and I know I can get by the one year mark also. I feel sure there will be good days ahead for us all and I know there will be some really bad ones. I have resolved to just take one day at a time and try to become more positive and more hopeful every day. I know that the new additions to your family will bring you great joy and many blessings. Life still offers much to be thankful for. Art Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gail_R Posted January 21, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2008 Dear Art..I have gotten through the first anniversary of Bruce's death is was a very hard day...but I did it with the help of my children. There was a lot of crying and yes some laughing...talking about things their dad like to do. But saying that it does not make lossing him any easier..he was the heart and soul of our family. I really don't think that anyone did not like Bruce...he was the type of person that if anyone needed anything he was there and never expected anything in return. Our life will never be the same as it was before he die..but we will try and make it the best life that we can because that is what Bruce would have won't. There was never a more loving and caring in the world. We as his family were truly BLESSED to have had him in our lives. Sorry for going on so much. Thank again for replying to my post. Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teny Posted January 22, 2008 Report Share Posted January 22, 2008 GAIL Im thinking of you and I know how hard it is .Iv been through the painful anniversary .Im realy admiring your courage and way of thinking its promising for all of us traveling the same road.Keep strong my fiend.A big hug from far away. TENY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gail_R Posted January 22, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 22, 2008 Teny....thank you for your reply. I think that if I did not work trying to look at the good...like my son and daughter-in-law and my daughter and son-in-law both expecting babies this year I'm not sure that I would be doing as good as I am. Bruce was and will always be the best husband and father that I know..but then we all think that way about our beloved husbands. Thank you friend for being there for me all these past months. Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotty Posted January 25, 2008 Report Share Posted January 25, 2008 Thank you Gail for your posts. I know I'm not even close to being where you are yet, been just 2 weeks for me, but it is encouraging to see that somehow it does get easier to manage. Wish i could just sleep and fast forward to a couple of years from now.Scott Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gail_R Posted January 25, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 25, 2008 Scott.. I still have my bad day's but I do have more good day's and as for sleeping I still have nights that I don't much sleep. I think the best advise that I got from someone on this site was just take it one day at a time and for the first few months it's like one hour at a time...and don't expect to much of yourself. This is the hardest thing I think that you will ever have to go through so be kind to yourself. I know for myself that if it was not for everyone on this site I would not be doing as well as I am. Bruce was a very special man and I was very lucky to have been married to him for 30 years and like everyone here it was not long enough. So Scott come back here anytime and post it does help to get those feelings out. Take care of yourself.. Gail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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