Guest moparlicious Posted June 22, 2008 Report Share Posted June 22, 2008 Hi all,Today is my birthday and I am so so sad!!!!! I miss my Dan so much, I know he is with me in my heart, but I just can't believe 10 months ago he was here and now hes not. This day last year he was raising a rukus to get out of ICU and told everyone on the floor it was my bd, and that that rascal managed to get me a cake and ALL the nurses sang to me.He tried to get out of his bed, he just wanted to go step outside, but just had brain surgery 2 days ago and had some bleeding on the brain, but in spite of all that, he made my last birthday with him the most special and the best, which I will never forget. I long for him here and miss him so deeply. Being 41 today and alone, SUCKS!!!! I think I told everyone I was going backwards, so with that, I am 39. Love, Kim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singledad2 Posted June 22, 2008 Report Share Posted June 22, 2008 Kim,I'm about to discover exactly what you are going through today. My birthday is a week from tomorrow and Julie did so much to make birthday's special for everyone. No matter what everyone else does, it will never be the same again. Please find something that YOU can enjoy doing today and do your best to make it YOUR day...that's what Dan tried to do for you. Treat yourself to your favorite food, your favorite movie, or maybe just find a place where you and Dan spent time together and use today as a day to really try to connect with him and SHARE your day with Dan. I don't have any magic answers, but perhaps one of these will help ease the pain and allow you to celebrate the life that you have.Take care.SD2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted June 22, 2008 Report Share Posted June 22, 2008 I remember all too well the first birthday that I had after Karen had died over two years ago. In August it will be my 3rd birthday without her. The birthdays get easier as each one passes, this will be my 39th and I think I will stay at 39. Anyway, my thoughts and prayers are with you and may you have a Happy Birthday.Love alwaysDerek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarrysGirl Posted June 22, 2008 Report Share Posted June 22, 2008 Sending Birthday wishes to you Kim! I know its not the same without Dan. You have your memories of birthdays with him and thats a good thing. None of us wanted to have our lives changed this way. Remember he is with you always! I want to be 39 also!!! (fat chance) Be good to yourself today. Deborah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dusky Posted June 22, 2008 Report Share Posted June 22, 2008 Kim,All the special days in our lives are now difficult for us to find joy in. No birthday or holiday has been - or meant the same since Jack died - and that is now nearly three years ago.I do however find joy in remembering him. I am sure your Dan and the memories of him make you smile when you think of all the joy he brought you. But I also know its is bittersweet. We will never be the same - but - some people never had this much to lose.My best to you on your birthday,John - Dusky is my handle on hereLove you Jack Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoubleJo Posted June 23, 2008 Report Share Posted June 23, 2008 When Curt was in the hospital and on pain pills and freaking out from anxiety he managed to get paper and pen to write me an almost coherent birthday note.I treasure it. What a special memory you have for your birthday! It is wonderful!You must feel very depressed right now. Its' really tough. This makes you feel so extra alone it burns through you. You're only 41/39, I was only 51 with the first husband, 55 with the second. It IS amazing, however, that I am now but a mere 49. Yes- the magic of time.Try to hold that special warm memory inside you for comfort. Hang in there- sadly, what else can one do?We share this intense time with you. DoubleJo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 23, 2008 Report Share Posted June 23, 2008 Kim,I wish I could have been on line this weekend, I was in the process of helping my husband move. Belated birthday wishes to you! I know what you mean...my George always made a huge deal of my birthdays and celebrated holidays to the fullest, I miss that, he left such a huge gap in his wake. My first birthday without him, no one remembered or called, it was hard in comparison to what it would have been with him. As someone else posted somewhere, "it is more than some people ever have", and that is so true. I think of the pain of missing him and the loss we bear as a tribute to their specialness and how they can never be replaced or forgotten.We love you!KayC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest moparlicious Posted June 23, 2008 Report Share Posted June 23, 2008 Hi all,Thank you very much SD2, Derek, Deborah,Dusky, KayC, Double Jo!!!!! I appreciate all your wonderful posts and love you all. Now my day is over but I feel REALLY depressed today. Love, Kim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singledad2 Posted June 25, 2008 Report Share Posted June 25, 2008 Kim,The days after a birthday always seem to be downers. Maybe it's because the day before our birthday we were a year younger, the day of our birthday it is all about us, and the day after we are a year older and just one of 6 billion people again! Ya gotta smile sometimes--it gives us a better reference point for how much better things can get from those really bad days.I'll be traveling tomorrow, but over dinner, I'll toast to you Kim...to better days somewhere ahead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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